Category Archives: domestic abuse

Enslaved 2024 – Part 1

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“Slavery – A Study in Marble” by Valentin Galochkin, Author Valentin Galochkin, (PD)

The White House has proclaimed January as Slavery and Human Trafficking Prevention Month [1].

Scope

Over 40 million people are trafficked worldwide [2A].  Women and girls constitute about 71%  of all human trafficking victims [2B].  In fact, one in every four victims of modern slavery is a child [2C].

Geographic Distribution

Trafficking centers around areas with international travel hubs (airports and seaports), access to highways, seasonal work, a hospitality industry (often associated with tourism), a sharp disparity between rich and poor, and a large immigrant population [3A][8].

A. Overseas

According to the International Labor Organization, Asia and the Pacific region have the highest incidence of forced labor and forced marriages [5].

B. United States

In our country, experts estimate that there are over 199,000 instances of human trafficking (which includes sex trafficking) annually [4A].

The top ten states for trafficking in 2022 were Mississippi, Nevada, Missouri, Nebraska, Florida, Texas, California, Arkansas, Oregon, and Georgia [2D]. Continue reading

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Who I Was Born to Be

Wishing All of You a Happy New Year!

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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Christmas Star

All of us were children once.  What we survived over the years shaped our character and our lives.

At Christmas we celebrate the birth of another child, a Savior who came into this broken world for our sakes.  We were not all rescued, but we can — because of Him — be redeemed.

Wishing All of You a Merry Christmas!

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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Headphones and a Vape Pen – Juvenile Crime

File:Sennheiser hd-25 headphones.jpg

Sennheiser HD-25-1 headphones, Author Bizzarle (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

WARNING:  Graphic Images

Eight Las Vegas teens have been charged with murder, in connection with the beating death of a classmate widely distributed on social media [1].  The assailants range in age from 13 y.o. to 17 y.o.  Their victim, Jonathan Lewis Jr., was 17 y.o.  The altercation was apparently about headphones and a vape pen.

It is difficult to say which aspect of this crime is most disturbing:  the age of the victim whose life was taken, the age of his assailants and their relationship to him, the trivial cause for this violence, or the fact the crime was shared on social media.

Causes of  Violence

Most of us assume that children are incapable of violence, certainly incapable of murder.   We are shocked when confronted with the facts.

In 2020, there were 930 arrests made nationally for murder or manslaughter where the perpetrator was 17 y.o. or younger [2A].   There were 19,140 arrests made for aggravated assault in that age range, and another 70, 940 made for simple assault [2B].

Gang dynamics, the psychology of crowds, and peer pressure all have bearing on the crime here.  Abuse is likely, also, to have played a role.

A.  Gangs

Gang violence in the United States emerged as early as 1783.  In New York City, in particular, gangs were well organized by 1826 [3].

Dangerous street gangs, outlaw motorcycle clubs, organized crime (once actually termed gangland), and drug cartels are all representative of this underworld culture.  Little has changed with time, except that drugs have been added to the mix.

Teens and young men are known to have been participants from the start (though girls and young women are not immune to the lure).  Depending on age, young people serve as messengers, look-outs, bagmen, thieves, and thugs (some later specializing as enforcers or hitmen).

Although gangs may thrive on violence, they provide a sense of acceptance, security, inclusion, and identity to their members [4].  In effect, they substitute for the family structure many young people lack.

B.  Crowds and Peer Pressure

It is well recognized that human beings will do in a crowd what they might never do alone [5].  The bounds of acceptable behavior are more easily transgressed in a group.  Personal responsibility is abandoned.  Morals are swept aside in the frenzy of the moment.

This applies to young people even more so than adults.  Still trying to decide who they are, anxious to fit in, teens and pre-teens are more susceptible than adults to peer pressure. Continue reading

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Passed Over at the Dance – Love and Failure

File:Rose by manuel gegenhuber.jpgImage by Manuel Gugenhuber (CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported)

Many of us feel that we failed at love.  We were passed over at the dance.  We picked the wrong partners — those who did not or could not love us, those who loved us once but no longer care.  Those who raised our hopes, then shattered our dreams.  Those who simply walked away.

There are countless reasons for this.  It may be that childhood abuse colored our choices.  It may be that those choices were limited by our circumstances.  It may be that a partner changed over the years…or that we changed.  It may be that a partner was equally wounded from the start.

Rejection is heartbreaking.  The end of love is heartbreaking.  We think the years we invested were wasted, that our lives were wasted.  That our love was poured out on sand.

But heartbreak and failure are not one and the same.  Nearly everyone alive has experienced heartbreak, at one time or another.  Sad love songs are more popular than upbeat ones.

God, Himself, is love (1 John 4: 16).  He created us to know, love, and serve Him.  We do that by obeying His laws (1 John 5: 2), and serving others (Eph. 2: 10).

None of us live up to God’s standards — not as we should, not on a constant basis.  We stray.  We make mistakes, despite our good intentions.  But if we pour out our love, as best we can — whether on spouses, lovers, siblings, friends, children, or strangers — we have fulfilled the central purpose for which we were created (Luke 7: 47).

That is not failure.  Whatever the outcome, that is not failure.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

 

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“Stages of Trauma Bonding” by Cynthia Bailey Rug

7 Stages Of Trauma Bonding explained on a dark navy background

Image courtesy of Sandstone Care

Below is a post by the Christian author, Cynthia Bailey Rug.  While this post is specifically directed toward the victims of narcissism, it is highly relevant to the victims of childhood abuse and/or domestic violence who are particularly vulnerable to trauma bonding.

Cynthia Bailey Rug blogs at https://cynthiabaileyrug.wordpress.com  .  The full text of this post dated 10/14/23 can be found there.

“Trauma bonding, also known as Stockholm Syndrome, is a common & strange phenomenon among victims of ongoing abuse [1][2].  It happens when abusers aren’t abusive all of the time, & show their victims random kindnesses.  Those kindnesses seem to prove to victims that their abuser isn’t all bad, & they really do care for their victim.  That thinking bonds the victim to their abuser & makes them more willing to tolerate abuse.

Narcissists are exceptionally good at trauma bonding their victims to them.  It happens very subtly & in gradually increasing stages of toxicity.  Trauma bonding is much like the story of putting a frog in a pot of water.  If the water is boiling when he goes in, he recognizes the danger & hops out immediately.  But, if it’s warm & gradually the temperature increases to boiling, he won’t notice he’s in danger until it’s too late…

The first stage of trauma is love bombing.  This is when the narcissist [or other abuser] showers you with love, praise & adoration.  You can do no wrong.  You are absolutely perfect!…Gifts can be a part of love bombing too…” Continue reading

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Relapse

File:EB1911 Greek Art - Foot-race - Panathenaic Vase.jpg

Foot-race at the Panathenaea (c. 800 BC – 480 BC), reverse of an ancient Greek vase, Source Encyclopædia Britannica (11th ed.), (PD)

Despite decades of counseling, abuse victims may struggle with the scars of their trauma for a lifetime.  This is a discouraging truth whether applicable to alcohol or drug abuse, eating disorders, cutting, or other self-destructive behaviors stemming from the abuse.

When we do relapse the shame returns full force.  But the conclusions we draw from our relapse are important.

Not Worthless or Hopeless

That we have relapsed does not mean that we are worthless and our situation hopeless.  It simply means that we are human beings who have been deeply wounded.

Survival Skills

Nor does relapse mean that the survival skills we struggled to acquire have been proven useless.  We have simply set them aside, in favor of more familiar and more damaging behaviors [1]. Continue reading

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Greatness

Dorothy Height (2008), Author Adrian Hood (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

Greatness is not measured by what a man or woman accomplishes, but by the opposition he or she has overcome to reach his goals.

-Dorothy Height

Dorothy Height was an African American social worker, journalist, politician, and civil rights advocate [1].  She served as Chairperson of the Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights, and was a founding member of the National Women’s Political Caucus.

At the National Council of Negro Women, Ms. Height worked to end lynching in the South, restructure the criminal justice system, and increase voter registration.  Presidents Dwight Eisenhower and Lyndon Johnson frequently sought her advice. Continue reading

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Not Love

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Andrew Tate on “Anything Goes with James English” podcast (2023).  Source https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjYjLJpzeas, Author Anything Goes with James English (CC Attribution 3.0 Unported)

The social media “influencer” Andrew Tate who once contended that the victims of rape should bear responsibility for their violation has, himself, been charged in Romania with rape, human trafficking, and the formation of a crime syndicate to sexually exploit women [1][2].

Evidence exists of Tate and his cohorts coercing women into sexual acts [3][4].  Tate contends that he is innocent.  Hopefully, the courts will sort this out, and the appropriate consequences will follow.

Another misogynist, even another rapist, is not news.

The larger question is why an egotist like Tate would have gained such popularity (particularly among young men), and why women so often fall prey to men like this.

Hypermasculinity

“Hypermasculinity” is the sociological term for a toxic form of masculinity characterized by the view that violence is virile; that danger is exciting; and that women should be treated with less regard than one would have for an animal [4].

To be a man, by this definition, is to be merciless and wholly self-centered. Continue reading

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Japanese Reforms

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Appeal board made by participants in Flower Demo, Tokyo, Japan (2020), Author Breaklily (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

Sexual violence against women has historically been associated with shame and stigma in Japan.  The laws were drawn in such a way as to excuse the behavior of male defendants, while simultaneously disregarding women’s rights.

At last, however, the country has raised the age of consent from 13 to 16 years, and redefined rape to include non-consensual intercourse [1].  Proof of force is no longer a prerequisite to conviction.  Photo voyeurism (including upskirting) has, also, been criminalized.

These long overdue reforms were prompted by Flower Demo, a Japanese movement protesting sexual violence against women [2][3].  Those taking part carried flowers to reflect their empathy for victims.

Several scandalous rape cases brought attention to the issue, drawing public outrage.  One involved a highly intoxicated woman.  Another involved a 15 y.o. her assailant had held pinned to a wall.  Still another involved incest ongoing for a period of years.

Sin Nature

Violence against women is a byproduct of the sin nature of mankind.  It is perpetuated by an attitude that women are mere sex objects, by the use of disparaging sexist language, and by the glorification of sexual assault.

Rape, in this context, is not just a notch on the assailant’s belt.  It is an act of machismo, proof of masculinity (albeit toxic).

Any shame associated with the act is displaced to the victim.

This is not what God intended.  When He created men and women, He created them as equals.

[1]  BBC, “Japan redefines rape and raises age of consent in landmark move” by Kelly Ng, 6/16/23, https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-65887198.

[2]  Wikipedia, “Flower Demo”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flower_Demo.

[3]  Zenbird, “Flower Demo, the protests battling Japan’s sexual violence against women” by Kirsty Kawano, 11/25/20, https://zenbird.media/flower-demo-the-protests-battling-japans-sexual-violence-against-women/.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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