Category Archives: Neglect

June 14, 2026 · 1:00 am

PTSD and the Brain

Computerized Axial Tomography (CAT Scan) of the human brain, (CC 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication)

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), from which many abuse victims suffer, is not “merely” a psychological condition.  While PTSD does not qualify as a Traumatic Brain Injury, it does causes physical changes in the brain which impact the processing of emotions and memories [1A][2A][3A].

For those who may be unfamiliar with PTSD, it can result from childhood abuse, domestic violence, or other trauma.  PTSD is often accompanied by anxiety, depression, intense nightmares, sudden outbursts of anger, and/or flashbacks to the traumatic event [3B][4].

Childhood Trauma and Gray Matter

“Adverse childhood experiences have been linked to functional impairments across multiple developmental areas, including difficulty with peer relationships, problems regulating emotions, and deficits in cognitive and language development [2A].”

A large study found that childhood trauma is linked to reduced gray matter in the frontal lobe, independent of any psychiatric diagnosis [2B].  The reductions were concentrated in areas involved in planning, self-control, and evaluating social situations.

Significantly, those who experienced multiple forms of childhood trauma or more severe trauma showed more pronounced gray matter loss. Continue reading →

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June 7, 2026 · 1:00 am

Gestating and Non-Gestating Parents

Noun Affected Population, Source The Noun Project https://thenounproject.com/browse/collection-icon/ocha-humanitarian-icons-16/, Author United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs, (PD)

Both chambers of the New York State legislature have passed a bill eliminating the terms “mother” and “father” from Family Law, i.e. that category of law governing parental rights, custody, visitation, support, etc. [1].  

Once the bill is signed into law, those terms will be replaced with the gender neutral terms “gestating parent” a/k/a mother, and “non-gestating parent” a/k/a father.

Gender Neutral Trend

This is part of a growing trend.  Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, and Hawaii have already done something comparable [2].

The change is more than a matter of political correctness, like the term “pregnant people”.  It is an attempt by the law to acknowledge the new norm in which two Dads, two Moms, egg donors, sperm donors, and gestational carriers (surrogates) are all a reality. 

In effect, it is a recognition that the terms “mother” and “father” have become outdated.  It broadens the legal definition of “parent” to those who lack any biological bond with a child.

Parenthood and Biology

Society is rapidly detaching parenthood from biology, just as it has detached gender.  It is simultaneously elevating non-parental relationships to the level of parenthood, while diminishing the importance of the parental relationship.

Certainly, children can be loved by those without a biological connection to them.  Certainly, some biological parents are bad parents.

But bearing and raising children involves more than mechanically incubating an egg.  Biological parenthood creates a special bond.  That is part of God’s design.

The profound emotional connection between a mother and her child is supported by a complex of hormones which promote trust, caregiving, and emotional regulation [3A].  The quality of this early bond lays the groundwork for the child’s future emotional well-being and function in society [3B].

  • Oxytocin is knowns as the “love” hormone [3C].  Oxytocin surges during labor, breastfeeding, and skin-to-skin contact between mother and child.
  • Prolactin, known for milk production, induces a state of calm and sleepiness, working alongside Oxytocin to promote attachment [4].
  • Vasopressin, which is related both to bonding and protective behavior, reinforces caregiving instincts [3D].
  • Dopamine, which activates the brain’s reward circuits, makes caregiving feel pleasurable, reinforcing parental behavior [3E].

Cardiac synchrony during close contact further strengthens the mother-child bond by aligning heartbeats and breathing patterns [5].

This complex hormonal interaction is not limited to women. 

Testosterone levels in men decrease during pregnancy and after childbirth [6A][9A].  This is thought to reduce aggression and competitiveness, while increasing nurturing behavior.  Oxytocin from skin-to-skin contact helps fathers feel more connected to their babies [6B][7][9B].  Prolactin rises in fathers during pregnancy and postpartum, increasing sensitivity to infant cues [6C].  Vasopressin likewise influences paternal caregiving [8]. 

Fathers who interact more often with their infants undergo more pronounced biological changes, which may explain why some biological fathers take little or no interest in their children [9C].

Moreover, for a variety of reasons, a high proportion of adopted children seek out their biological parents [14].

Risk of Child Abuse and Neglect

Research has consistently shown that children are at higher risk of abuse and neglect when an unrelated adult male, such as a boyfriend or cohabiting partner, lives in the home, as compared with married biological parents.

The National Incidence Study of Abuse and Neglect actually found that the rate of abuse or neglect for children living with a single parent and that parent’s partner was 8.4 times higher than the rate for children living with married biological parents, irrespective of whether that partner was the biological father [10]!

A Fragile Families Study in 2009 found that families with a man who was not the biological father of all children were significantly more likely to be contacted by Child Protective Services than families with a biological father in the home [11].

Non-parental custody is not inherently unsafe.  However, the risk of child abuse or neglect in such situations can be increased by a prior history of abuse on the part of the adult in the caregiver role, mental health issues, substance abuse, high stress, isolation from familial support, and a justification for violence [12].

Risk of Sex Trafficking

Sex trafficking occurs when sex offenders are permitted to abuse a child in exchange for money, drugs, or shelter; when a child is used in pornography; or when a child is forced into sex work with the proceeds going to the adult charged with caring for that child [13]. 

Tragically, this can happen both in a biological and non-biological setting.

Society today is rending the traditional family asunder, in the effort to expand it.  That is not likely to benefit our children in the long run.

—

[1]  Snopes, “New York bill would replace ‘mother’ and ‘father’ with gender-neutral terms in family law” by Anna Rascouet-Paz, 6/5/26, https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/new-york-mother-father-gestating/.

[2]  Factually, “Which US States Have Adopted Gender-Neutral Parentage or Custody Language?”, 6/5/26, https://factually.co/fact-checks/law/gender-neutral-parentage-custody-laws-by-state-02bb80.

[3A through 3E]  Biology Insights, “The Science of Mother-Infant Bonding and Attachment”, 12/8/25, https://biologyinsights.com/the-science-of-mother-infant-bonding-and-attachment/.

[4]  Science Insights, “The Science and Strategies of Mother-Infant Bonding”, 11/27/25,  https://scienceinsights.org/the-science-and-strategies-of-mother-infant-bonding/.

[5]  Discover Wild Science, “From Hormones to Heartbeats:  The Science of Bonding on Mother’s Day” by Maria Faith Saligumba, 6/4/26, https://discoverwildscience.com/from-hormones-to-heartbeats-the-science-of-bonding-on-mothers-day-4-307592/.

[6A, 6B, and 6C]  TNT Wellness, “The Hormonal Bond:  How Men Connect with Their Babies” by Mandi Green, 10/4/24, https://tnthealthyhormones.com/the-hormonal-bond-how-men-connect-with-their-babies/.

[7]  Center for Babywearing Studies (CBWS), “The Potential for Oxytocin to Enhance Bonding in New Families”, 2/12/25, https://www.cbws.org/blog/Potential-Oxytocin-Enhance%20Bonding.

[8]  Science Direct, “Oxytocin, a parenting hormone” by Ruth Feldman and Marian Bakermans-Kranenburg, June 2017, https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2352250X17300325.

[9A, 9B, and 9C]  Psychology Today, “How Becoming a Dad Changes Men” by Jutta Joormann PhD, 4/9/23, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/thoughts-and-feelings/202304/being-more-involved-affects-new-fathers-biologically.

[10]  Hope 4 Hurting Kids, “Risks of Child Abuse and Neglect Based on Family Structure” by Wayne Stocks, https://hope4hurtingkids.com/trauma-tragedy/abuse/risks-of-child-abuse-and-neglect-based-on-family-structure/.

[11]  National Center for Health Research, “Child Abuse and Father Figures:  Which Kind of Families Are Safest to Grow Up In?” by Diana Zuckerman PhD and Sarah Pedersen,  https://www.center4research.org/child-abuse-father-figures-kind-families-safest-grow/.

[12]  Centers for Disease Control (CDC), Child Abuse and Prevention, “Risk and Protective Factors”, 5/15/24, https://www.cdc.gov/child-abuse-neglect/risk-factors/index.html.

[13]  US Dept. of Justice, “No One Can Hurt You Like Family:  What We Know About Familial Trafficking Identification and Response”, January 2024, https://cops.usdoj.gov/html/dispatch/01-2024/familial_trafficking.html.

[14]  How We Became Family, “How Many Adoptees Search for Their Birth Parents?” by Teresa Villegas, 4/7/26, https://howwebecameafamily.com/how-many-adoptees-search-for-their-birth-parents.html.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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May 10, 2026 · 1:00 am

Coerced Abortion

Hand holding a generic abortion pill pack containing 1 mifepristone and 4 misoprostol, Author plancpillsdotorg (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

WARNING:  Graphic Images

Catherine Herring of Texas was unknowingly given the abortion pill seven times by her husband, in his attempt to kill their unborn child [1A][2A].  Thankfully, the baby girl, Josephine, survived.  Tragically, this was not an isolated incident.

Coercion

Forced abortions are employed by men seeking to evade the responsibility of having fathered a child, by parents seeking to avoid social stigma, by child abusers seeking to hide their crimes, and by sex traffickers seeking to eliminate the inconvenience of a pregnancy among their victims [2B].

“Abortion clinics cannot claim to be pro-woman while at the same time allowing the majority of their clients to be pressured into unwanted abortions [5B].”

-David Reardon, PhD

A 2023 peer reviewed study published in the Cureus Journal of Medicine found that nearly 70% of abortions in the United States were unwanted, coerced, and/or inconsistent with the mother’s values [2C][3][4].

That confirms earlier research which indicated over 60% of women who had abortions faced high levels of external pressure to end their pregnancies [5A].

Aftermath

These women afterwards experienced negative emotions, including feelings of loss, grief, and/or sadness about the abortion [5C].  Intrusive thoughts, including flashbacks to the abortion, interfered with their daily lives, work, and relationships [5D].

These findings run counter to the Turnaway Study which had reported a 99% post-abortion satisfaction rate by women, but had a low participation rate and relied on a single query [5E].  It, also, runs counter to the pro-abortion rallying cry “My Body, My Choice”. Continue reading →

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May 3, 2026 · 1:00 am

Retraumatization

Battling PTSD, Source https://flickr.com, Author US Marines (PD as work product of federal govt.)

Retraumatization is defined as re-experiencing a past traumatic event as if it were occurring in the present [1A].  Retraumatization calls up and heightens the emotions and sensations of the original trauma we experienced.  We once again feel powerless and under threat.

Sources of Retraumatization

The sources of retraumatization are innumerable, and as unique as the individual. 

Potential sources, however, can include:  stress; sights, sounds, or smells similar to the original traumatic event; song lyrics evocative of the original traumatic event; movies similar to the original traumatic event; news stories similar to the original traumatic event; illness or injury (with or without hospitalization); loss of a loved one, a pet, or a meaningful possession; dysfunctional relationships; and natural disasters [1B][2A].

Exposure to someone else’s trauma (whether a family member, friend, or public figure) can be likewise detrimental [2B].

Trauma-Informed Healthcare

It is imperative that healthcare professionals recognize trauma is not limited to physical injury from falls or gunshots [3A].  Negative experiences in childhood are highly prevalent.  These can include not only childhood abuse, but parental mental illness or imprisonment. Continue reading →

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April 19, 2026 · 1:00 am

Rationalization

Diagram “The Thinking Human” by Rene Descartes Source Scanned by Dagfinn Døhl Dybvig & Magne Dybvig from “Descartes:  The World and Other Writings”, (PD)

WARNING:  Graphic Images

It is difficult for most of us to understand the reasoning of abusers (pedophiles among them).

What lies do they tell themselves?  How can they reconcile their actions and the harm they inflict with a positive self-image, and avoid being overcome by guilt and shame?

Psychologists tell us this is accomplished through rationalization and a series of related defense mechanisms which include minimization, reframing, projection, entitlement, externalization, and moral disengagement [1][2].

Rationalization

Rationalization is the umbrella mechanism which allows abusers to justify their actions, rather than acknowledging the uncomfortable truth [3].  “He was asking for it.”  “She made me do it.”

Many abusers will focus on their own intent, rather than the harm actually done to victims. “I never meant to hurt her.”

Associated with this, some abusers will use self-loathing as a means of manipulation. But statements like “I’m toxic”, “I hate myself for what I do to you”, and “I don’t deserve you” are no guarantees of changed behavior.

Minimization

Minimization allows the abuser to downplay the severity of the harm he is inflicting.  “It wasn’t that bad.”  “He’s too young to remember, anyway.”

Abusers will refer to trauma they may have experienced in the past as justification for the trauma they, themselves, are inflicting in the present.  “After all, I only used my hand on the boy.  My father used to beat me with a belt.”

Reframing

This approach shifts the focus from the abuser to the emotion which supposedly overwhelmed him, making it sound as if the abusive behavior was unintentional.  It ignores the ongoing pattern of abuse.  “I just snapped.” “It was in the heat of the moment.”

Alternatively, the abuse is mischaracterized as a form of instruction or correction.  “I was only teaching her about sex.”  This is, also, applied to emotional abuse.  “It was tough love.”  “I was only being real.”

Projection

Projection allows the abuser to attribute his own undesirable traits, feelings, or inclinations to others [4].  “I don’t care if she was only 9 y.o.  She wanted sex.  I could tell by the way she looked at me.” Continue reading →

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April 12, 2026 · 1:00 am

Witnessing Evil – Secondary Trauma

Plate No. 9 (“They Do Not Want To”) from the series “The Disasters of War” by Francisco Goya (1810s), Source Arno Schmidt Reference Library (PD)

The impact of witnessing trauma of any kind is profound. This is known as secondary or vicarious trauma. It leaves a scar on the psyche. Symptoms can range from sadness, fear, and guilt, to anxiety and emotional numbness [1A].

Secondary Trauma

Of course, trauma takes many forms and is not limited to abuse. We may, for instance, witness an auto accident, seeing victims removed from the scene. Those in law enforcement, emergency care, and frontline journalism frequently experience this [1B][2].

But many of us will encounter secondary trauma simply through life experience.

A. Domestic Violence

Children who witness domestic violence in the home are exposed to evil firsthand, and are most vulnerable to the effects of vicarious trauma. It shapes their character and their view of the world even if they, themselves, are not the victims.

Boys are far more likely to become abusers; girls, to seek out abusers as partners. The statistics are appalling [3].

B. Bullying

We may as children have seen others bullied, feeling powerless, ourselves, to intervene.

C. Vicarious Abuse

Whether as children or adults, we may see a beloved friend or relative gradually worn away by domestic violence, her self-esteem eroded.

Though we may never actually see the blows struck, this is for us, in effect, vicarious abuse. If we try unsuccessfully to persuade that friend or relative to leave her situation, we are bound to feel frustrated, angry, and helpless.

What We Can Do

If we do lose a loved one to abuse, we are not as helpless as we may feel.

A few of us may become advocates, as a result, in or out of the courtroom. Far more will go on to interact with countless other women we can educate about domestic violence. While we may never give formal lectures, we can share our experience with friends, coworkers, and a host of others.

As important, we can treat them the way they should be treated. And we can raise our own children to know they deserve better from a relationship.

That has the power to save lives.

—

[1A and 1B] Office for Victims of  Crime (OVC), “The Vicarious Trauma Tool Kit — What Is Vicarious Trauam?”, https://ovc.ojp.gov/program/vtt/what-is-vicarious-trauma.

[2] ACLS, “Understanding Secondary Trauma: The Impact of Witnessing Traumatic Events” by Melanie Kolmetz, DFAAPA, EMT-P, https://acls.com/articles/the-impact-of-witnessing-traumatic events/.

[3] Domestic Shelters, “Children and Domestic Violence”, 1/17/15, https://domesticshelters.org/resources/statistics/children-and-domestic-violence.

The US Supreme Court has ruled against a Colorado law which prohibited so called “conversion therapy” in cases of gender dysphoria.  The Supreme Court considers such counseling “free speech,” therefore, protected. 

See, https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/national-international/supreme-court-rules-conversion-therapy/4081114/.

Some 23 states have prohibited licensed Christian counselors from exploring underlying issues with patients suffering from this condition, or advising how they might align their perceived gender and biological sex.  

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT:  https://alawyersprayers.com

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April 5, 2026 · 1:00 am

Easter Sunday

Children dressed for Easter, Tallahassee, FL (1957), Source/Author Florida Memory, State Library and Archives, https://floridamemory.com/items/show/261196 (PD per Section 257.35(6) Florida Statutes)

Easter Sunday was an important day on the calendar when we were children. 

We would be dressed in our best Spring finery for church – Easter bonnets, white cotton gloves, starched dresses, lace anklets, patent leather shoes.  With trees coming into bud and daffodils in bloom, the whole world seemed fresh and new.

Of course, appearances can be deceiving.  Child abuse can be disguised for the world.  But no amount of chocolate eggs or jelly beans can make up for it.

These days the focus seems more on the Easter bunny than the Resurrection.  Which is a tragedy, since it is Christ who offers abuse victims genuine comfort and healing. 

He offers us, in fact, a new life (whatever may have caused our scars).

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new” (2 Cor. 5: 17).

Wishing you all a Happy Easter!

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

 

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March 29, 2026 · 1:00 am

Sins Against Self, Part 2

“Jesus of the Stripped Loyalty with Green Tunic” (10th Station of the Cross), Source/Author Aendomekio3 (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

We continue our examination of sins against the self to which abuse victims are prone [1].

Self-Pity/Self-Hatred/Self-Harm

We hate ourselves not only for the sins against us, but for the sins we have committed, and the mistakes we have made – sometimes wallowing in self-pity, sometimes consumed with self-contempt [2][3].  This manifests as a harshly self-critical inner dialog or continuous stream of negative thoughts.  We may even contemplate self-harm [4].

Self-Reliance

In fleeing from a God we hold responsible for our abuse or believe abandoned us, we may choose extreme self-reliance [5].  This is a brittle defense which fails to take into account the fact that all we are, and all we have, is from God.  Endurance, itself, is a form of His grace.

Suffering as a Gift

Whether we realize it or not, we are engaged in a lifelong spiritual battle.  Not because we were once victimized, but because Satan wants all of us (abuse victims or not) to feel victimized for the rest of our lives.  He wants us focused inward on ourselves and our wounds, rather than outward toward God and others.

That is not, however, God’s plan for us.  Which is why He sent His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for us – for our sins, the whole long list.  And to offer us instead an abundant life. Continue reading →

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March 22, 2026 · 8:48 am

Sins Against Self, Part 1

Medieval flagellants as pictured in Nuremberg Chronicle by Hartmann Schedel (1440-1514) (PD)

As abuse victims, we are, for the most part, more sinned against than sinning.  Abuse leaves a devastating scar across our lives.  About that there is no doubt.

That does not, however, mean we do not sin, ourselves.  Many of our own sins are against the self, a direct result of the abuse we suffered [1][2].  And God loves us so much He wants better for us than that.

Low Self-Esteem

Believing ourselves worthless, we treat ourselves that way.  We view any kindness toward ourselves as undeserved, and turn aside those who would love us (sometimes causing unintended pain to others, in the process).

Disordered Sexuality

In a desperate effort to find the love we were denied, we seek it in all the wrong places.  Far too often, we are drawn to partners who re-enact the abuse so familiar to us.  Or we settle for less than we deserve, giving ourselves away to any comers, rather than respecting our own bodies. 

A few of us take the other direction, and forego the sexuality with which God endowed us or reject the gender God assigned us.  That is no wiser, though it may temporarily feel safer.

We may assume this does not grieve God, but it does [3].  He suffers with us, and weeps for us. Continue reading →

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March 15, 2026 · 1:00 am

Radicalization

We are all too familiar with radicalization these days.  It is the process by which an individual or group adopts views so extreme that they involve the use of violence [1]. 

Those radicalized are willing to use any means to achieve the overthrow of existing systems, whether political, social, or religious [2A][3A].  They swallow then spew forth hate-filled rhetoric, as if it were self-evident truth [2B][3B].

The real question is why?  What makes some (especially our young people) vulnerable to radicalization?

The Specter of Hitler

The fantasy/sci-fi series The Twilight Zone was prescient, in this regard [4A]. 

In an episode by Rod Serling titled “He’s Alive”, which first aired in 1963, an aspiring American Nazi who was once a lonely and abused child receives advice from Adolf Hitler’s specter about how to gain a following: 

“Speak to them as if you were a member of the mob, speak to them in their language, on their level.  Make their hate your hate.  If they are poor, talk to them of poverty.  If they are afraid, talk to them of their fears.  And if they are angry, Mr. Vollmer, if they are angry give them objects for their anger [4B].”

Not all lonely or abused children become radicalized, of course.  Nor were all those who become radicalized formerly lonely and abused children.  But there is a clue here.

Vulnerability

Children from all ethnicities and all levels of society can become radicalized. 

But those struggling with identity; those who lack purpose; those questioning their place in society; those becoming distanced from their cultural or religious backgrounds are more vulnerable [2C][3C]. 

Likewise, those isolated; those with low self-esteem; those with family issues; those who have been bullied; and those who have experienced trauma, racism, or discrimination are more vulnerable [2D][3D]. 

Many of these are the same factors that make children vulnerable to grooming for sexual exploitation.

Children who have difficulty understanding the consequences of their actions; lack empathy for others; are fascinated by conspiracy theories; and/or are obsessed with massacres and mass violence are particularly open to believing extremist claims are the answer to their problems [2E][3E]. Continue reading →

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