Category Archives: domestic violence

July 26, 2026 · 1:00 am

Pornography, Part 3 – Pornography Addiction and Sexual Addiction

Jesus Preachers March 1/21/17, Source https://www.flickr.com/photos/perspective/32511928535/, Author Elvert Barnes (CC BY-SA 2.0 Generic)

What the true crime series Lethally Blonde does not directly address is pornography addiction or sexual addiction, both of which feed the pornography industry [1].

Pornography Profits

There is a common misconception that if one does not pay for pornography, one is not responsible for the exploitation it supports and the harm it causes.  But — as discussed in Part 1 of this series — there is really no such thing as “ethical porn”, despite assertions by the pornography industry to the contrary.

Ad revenue is a major driver of profit for the pornography industry.  The more views pornographic websites get, the more money pornographers can charge for ads, and the more money they make.

The lack of age and consent verification on pornography websites has proven to be highly profitable for the industry.

Violence and Child Sexual Abuse

Pornography offers countless instances of filmed violence against women and child sexual abuse.  These include graphic images of rape, incest, and bestiality.  Some people will spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars for an adult video tailored to their individual tastes, however perverse.

Pornography Addiction vs. Sexual Addiction

Pornography addiction and sexual addiction are two distinct things [2A].  Porn addiction involves the compulsive use of pornography, usually online.  The behavior tends to be private and repetitive.  Sex addiction, on the other hand, involves repeated real life sexual encounters with others.

A. Symptoms

The symptoms of pornography addiction are, as follows [2B].

  • Compulsive and/or excessive porn use with increasing amounts of time expended;
  • Development of “cravings”, i.e. the strong urge to watch porn;
  • Difficulty in stopping or cutting back on porn;
  • Use of porn to cope with stress, boredom, and/or other emotions;
  • Secrecy around device use;
  • Loss of interest in real-life intimacy; and
  • Guilt or shame after use.

Significantly, pornography can sometimes be a coping mechanism for child sexual abuse survivors [3A]. It is, however, maladaptive.

By comparison, the symptoms of sexual addiction are, as follow [2C]:

  • Compulsive sexual behavior involving others, i.e. repeated affairs, “hook-ups”, or risky sexual encounters;
  • Preoccupation with sex and sexual opportunities;
  • Difficulty controlling sexual urges;
  • Escalation to riskier behaviors over time;
  • Lying to partners or loved ones;
  • Relationship conflict related to trust issues; and
  • Emotional distress or shame after sexual encounters.

B. Impact

Overloading the brain’s pleasure circuits can lead to structural, functional, and molecular changes in the prefrontal cortex (the seat of emotional regulation, self-control, decision making, planning, and ultimately morality) [5][6][7].

Porn addiction results in decreased sexual satisfaction, and increased emotional numbness [2D]. Porn addiction has been linked to higher rates of suicidal thoughts [8].  Yet, fewer than 1/3 of young people believe that pornography is bad for society [3B]. 

Sexual addiction results in severe relationship damage, and workplace or legal consequence [2E].

C. Remedy

The answer to porn addiction lies in identifying triggers and changing the habits related to porn use; reduced access to porn; and development of alternative coping skills [2F].  Therapy focused on impulse control can be helpful. 

Sex addiction, on the other hand, requires intensive therapy; an accountability structure; and relationship counseling [2G].

Reclaim Sexual Health https://www.reclaimsexualhealth.com/ is an anonymous online recovery program offering science-based Christian resources for those seeking to overcome pornography and/or sexual addiction [4]. Navigate Betrayal https://www.reclaimsexualhealth.com/ is the related program for the partners and spouses of pornography and/or sex addicts.

Biblical View

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification:  that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God” (1 Thess. 4: 3-5).

Scripture emphasizes that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6: 19-20).  Purity plays a key role in a life that is pleasing to God.  The lusts of the flesh are not of God (1 John 2: 15-17).  We are, therefore, to flee from temptation (1 Cor. 10: 13). 

This is not, however, a simple matter of will power.  Rather, we are to renew our minds by immersing ourselves in the word of God (Rom. 12: 1).  He changes us from the inside out.

—

[1]  National Center on Sexual Exploitation, “Inside the Pornography Industry’s Profit Model:  Ads, Addiction, and Abuse” by Stephen Trendell, 8/20/25, https://endsexualexploitation.org/articles/inside-the-pornography-industrys-profit-model-ads-addiction-and-abuse/.

[2A through 2G]  Porn Addiction, “What’s the Difference Between Porn Addiction and Sex Addiction?”, 1/28/26, https://www.pornaddiction.org/porn-addiction-vs-sex-addiction/.

[3A and 3B]  Mission Network News, “Addiction, the ‘p-word’, and childhood abuse” by Katey Hearth, 5/2/24, https://www.mnnonline.org/news/addiction-the-p-word-and-childhood-abuse/.

[4] EWTN On Demand, “Bruce and Jeannie Hannemann: Hope in Living with an Addiction”, https://ondemand.ewtn.com/Home/Play/en/PWS17009.

[5] Mental Health, “The Brains of Porn Addicts” by Lesley Wirth (medically reviewed by Jesse Hanson PhD), 6/4/26, https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/the-brains-of-porn-addicts.

[6] Frontiers, “Disrupted synapses: prefrontal cortex-reward circuit dysfunction in stress-induced depression-like behaviors” by Ashraf Mahmud and Mehmet Karaman, 5/19/26, https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/cellular-neuroscience/articles/10.3389/fncel.2026.1843871/full.

[7] Wikipedia, “Neuromorality”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuromorality.

[8] Your Brain on Porn, “Problematic pornography use and suicidal thoughts:  Results from cross-sectional and longitudinal analyses” by JS McGraw et al, 2024, https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/problematic-pornography-use-and-suicidal-thoughts-results-from-cross-sectional-and-longitudinal-analyses/.

Parts 1 and 2 in this series were posted 7/12 and 7/19/26, respectively

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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July 12, 2026 · 1:09 am

Pornography, Part 1 – Influencers and Content Creators

Lethally Blonde is a true crime series produced by Investigation Discovery (ID) and hosted by executive‑producer and former Playboy model Holly Madison [1].  Real life murder cases related, in one way or another, to the pornography industry are examined. 

These are sad, often tawdry, stories of lives that have taken a downward spiral into darkness.

Pornography and Sex Trafficking

Pornography and sex trafficking are closely intertwined. The average age of entry into pornography or prostitution is between 12 and 14 years [11].

Individuals may be recorded without their consent, frequently during instances of sexual violence [12].  They may be manipulated or coerced into performing sexual acts against their will. They may be misled about the nature of a scene or threatened with blacklisting in the film industry, if they do not comply.

Sexual Exploitation and Lies

While Lethally Blonde does not moralize – far from that – it documents in graphic detail the devastating consequences of sexual exploitation as a form of entertainment.

Intentionally or not, four lies are repeatedly exposed by the series: 

  • that sex is a mere commodity, unrelated to emotion;
  • that the sale of sex is a legitimate and painless way of accumulating wealth and fame;
  • that wealth and fame are synonymous with happiness; and
  • that on screen and online performances reflect reality.

Some of us may consider these lies so obvious they do not need discussion.  However, our young people are being fed them daily.  A few statistics should drive this point home. 

Pornography in the United States

In the 21st Century, pornography has been mainstreamed with pornographers now innocuously called “content creators” [3]. 

Several studies have confirmed that the United States is the largest producer of pornography in the world [2A].  Sources quoted by Forbes put the revenue generated from video networks and pay-per-view movies on cable and satellite, websites, in-room hotel movies, phone sex, sex toys, and magazines at between $2.6 and $3.9 billion [2B]. 

A 2023 survey by Common Sense Media of 1,300 teens ages 13 y.o. to 17 y.o. found that 73% watched online pornography [4]. This is far from harmless. 

Parallels may well exist between underage pornography exposure and child sexual abuse (either reinforcing the later consumption of pornography as an adult, manifesting as sexual coercion in the attempt to reconcile conflicting emotions from such exposure, or manifesting as disassociation in the form of abject surrender to any sexual advance) [8]. 

Sex Influencers

Social media has become an integral part of identity formation among teens [5A].  Online “influencers” shape what teens think about how they should look, and what they should achieve – whether insofar as fashion, beauty, fitness, or lifestyle [5B]. 

Influencers can be especially powerful because they offer teens a carefully selected version of reality that feels genuine though staged for consumption, real-time feedback, and a sense of belonging [6].

So called “sex positivity” is one trend among influencers [9]. It emphasizes sex as simply a natural, healthy aspect of life without shame or stigma, and encourages teens to explore diverse sexual orientations and gender identities [10]. One has to wonder who is funding this agenda.

Sex and Murder

Courtney Clenney was one such influencer, an attractive teen who recognized that she could make money online by marketing her looks. 

Gradually, she progressed to nudity, and finally online sex on a subscription site called OnlyFans.  This produced tremendous income for her, and an upscale if degenerate lifestyle. 

Clenney is today charged with second degree murder in the stabbing death of her boyfriend Christian Obumseli [7].  She claims self-defense, alleging domestic violence although evidence strongly suggests that she was the aggressor.

—

[1]  Show Biz Junkies, “’Lethally Blonde’ True Crime Series Preview and Episode Guide” by Rebecca Murray, 3/12/24, https://www.showbizjunkies.com/tv/lethally-blonde-true-crime-series-preview/.

[2A and 2B]  Wikipedia, “Pornography in the United States”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornography_in_the_United_States.

[3]  Art and Popular Culture, “Pornography in the United States”, https://www.artandpopularculture.com/American_pornography.

[4]  Psychology Today, “New Report Finds Most Teens Watch Online Pornography”  by Thomas Lickona PhD, 6/1/23, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/raising-kind-kids/202305/new-report-finds-most-teens-watch-online-pornography.

[5A and 5B]  Psychology Today, “Likes and Lies:  The Effects of Influencers on Teens” by Robin Sterns, 3/9/25, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/power-in-relationships/202503/likes-and-lies-the-effects-of-influencers-on-teens.

[6]  Psychology Today, “Behind the Influence of Influencers” by Robin Stern PhD, 5/19/24, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/power-in-relationships/202405/behind-the-influence-of-influencers.

[7]  MSN, “OnlyFans model Courtney Clenney denied bond; judge sets trial date for April”,  https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/onlyfans-model-courtney-clenney-denied-bond-judge-sets-trial-date-for-april/ar-AA1SBRKa?ocid=BingNewsSerp.

[8] Frontiers, “Impact of pornography consumption on children and adolescents:  a trauma-informed approach”, 9/28/25, https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/child-and-adolescent-psychiatry/articles/10.3389/frcha.2025.1567649/full.

[9] Psych Central, “All About Sex Positivity” by Jennifer Litner PhD, 7/30/21, https://psychcentral.com/health/sex-positivity-meaning.

[10] Belessa, “7 sex influencers you need to be following” by Gabrielle Noel, https://www.bellesa.co/en/collective/232/7-sex-positive-influencers-you-need-to-be-following.

[11] Fight the New Drug, “By the Numbers: Is the Porn Industry Connected to Sex Trafficking?”, https://fightthenewdrug.org/by-the-numbers-porn-sex-trafficking-connected/.

[12] End Slavery Now, “The Relationship Between Porn and Human Trafficking”, 1/31/22, https://www.endslaverynow.org/blog/articles/the-relationship-between-porn-and-human-trafficking.

This series will continue next week with Part 2 – Adult Film Stars

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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June 28, 2026 · 1:00 am

On the Attack

Cartoon image of woman using profanity, Author Unknown, (CC0 1.0 Universal Public Dedication)

Both child abuse and domestic abuse can leave lasting scars on our lives.  One of these is the tendency to see abusers where they do not exist.  Innocent gestures, innocent remarks by those who have never harmed us can be misperceived as predatory.  In response, we may go on the attack.

This response on our part may seem a minor difficulty.  After all, “better safe than sorry,” as the saying goes.  In reality, however, it can damage careers and destroy relationships. 

Our co-workers and partner or spouse are not likely to understand why we are being defensive.  In the workplace, that can provoke conflict, leading to false accusations, formal investigations, and dismissal.  In the home, it can lead to unnecessary arguments, emotional distance, and ultimately divorce.

Hypervigilance/Cognitive Distortion

The feeling that everyone is an abuser can be a sign of hypervigilance and trauma-related cognitive distortion [1][2][3].  We are so alert to danger that we see it everywhere, even when it is not present.  This pattern is particularly common when the genuine abuse we experienced involved enforced isolation, surveillance, or constant provocation.

Anxiety

Unfortunately, seeing everyone as an abuser can reduce the trust we have in others, increasing our anxiety and fear of social contact.  That makes it harder to form healthy relationships, reinforcing a cycle of isolation and self-blame.

Steps Toward Change

Recognizing our distorted thinking can be a step toward change.  Hypervigilance is a learned response.  Keeping a journal, and noting when our perceptions were accurate and when they were not, can be of great assistance.

Seeking the input of trusted friends and licensed mental health professionals is another helpful approach.  Positive experiences of any kind can “recalibrate” the brain’s threat detection.

It is possible to recover a more balanced perspective, and reclaim our trust of others.

—

[1]  Healthline, “What Is Hypervigilance?” by Timothy Legg PhD, 3/21/23, https://www.healthline.com/health/hypervigilance.

[2]  Wikipedia, “Hypervigilance”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypervigilance.

[3]  Cogntive Psychology, “Cognitive Distortions”, https://www.cognitivepsychology.com/Cognitive_Distortions.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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June 14, 2026 · 1:00 am

PTSD and the Brain

Computerized Axial Tomography (CAT Scan) of the human brain, (CC 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication)

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), from which many abuse victims suffer, is not “merely” a psychological condition.  While PTSD does not qualify as a Traumatic Brain Injury, it does causes physical changes in the brain which impact the processing of emotions and memories [1A][2A][3A].

For those who may be unfamiliar with PTSD, it can result from childhood abuse, domestic violence, or other trauma.  PTSD is often accompanied by anxiety, depression, intense nightmares, sudden outbursts of anger, and/or flashbacks to the traumatic event [3B][4].

Childhood Trauma and Gray Matter

“Adverse childhood experiences have been linked to functional impairments across multiple developmental areas, including difficulty with peer relationships, problems regulating emotions, and deficits in cognitive and language development [2A].”

A large study found that childhood trauma is linked to reduced gray matter in the frontal lobe, independent of any psychiatric diagnosis [2B].  The reductions were concentrated in areas involved in planning, self-control, and evaluating social situations.

Significantly, those who experienced multiple forms of childhood trauma or more severe trauma showed more pronounced gray matter loss. Continue reading →

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May 10, 2026 · 1:00 am

Coerced Abortion

Hand holding a generic abortion pill pack containing 1 mifepristone and 4 misoprostol, Author plancpillsdotorg (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

WARNING:  Graphic Images

Catherine Herring of Texas was unknowingly given the abortion pill seven times by her husband, in his attempt to kill their unborn child [1A][2A].  Thankfully, the baby girl, Josephine, survived.  Tragically, this was not an isolated incident.

Coercion

Forced abortions are employed by men seeking to evade the responsibility of having fathered a child, by parents seeking to avoid social stigma, by child abusers seeking to hide their crimes, and by sex traffickers seeking to eliminate the inconvenience of a pregnancy among their victims [2B].

“Abortion clinics cannot claim to be pro-woman while at the same time allowing the majority of their clients to be pressured into unwanted abortions [5B].”

-David Reardon, PhD

A 2023 peer reviewed study published in the Cureus Journal of Medicine found that nearly 70% of abortions in the United States were unwanted, coerced, and/or inconsistent with the mother’s values [2C][3][4].

That confirms earlier research which indicated over 60% of women who had abortions faced high levels of external pressure to end their pregnancies [5A].

Aftermath

These women afterwards experienced negative emotions, including feelings of loss, grief, and/or sadness about the abortion [5C].  Intrusive thoughts, including flashbacks to the abortion, interfered with their daily lives, work, and relationships [5D].

These findings run counter to the Turnaway Study which had reported a 99% post-abortion satisfaction rate by women, but had a low participation rate and relied on a single query [5E].  It, also, runs counter to the pro-abortion rallying cry “My Body, My Choice”. Continue reading →

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May 3, 2026 · 1:00 am

Retraumatization

Battling PTSD, Source https://flickr.com, Author US Marines (PD as work product of federal govt.)

Retraumatization is defined as re-experiencing a past traumatic event as if it were occurring in the present [1A].  Retraumatization calls up and heightens the emotions and sensations of the original trauma we experienced.  We once again feel powerless and under threat.

Sources of Retraumatization

The sources of retraumatization are innumerable, and as unique as the individual. 

Potential sources, however, can include:  stress; sights, sounds, or smells similar to the original traumatic event; song lyrics evocative of the original traumatic event; movies similar to the original traumatic event; news stories similar to the original traumatic event; illness or injury (with or without hospitalization); loss of a loved one, a pet, or a meaningful possession; dysfunctional relationships; and natural disasters [1B][2A].

Exposure to someone else’s trauma (whether a family member, friend, or public figure) can be likewise detrimental [2B].

Trauma-Informed Healthcare

It is imperative that healthcare professionals recognize trauma is not limited to physical injury from falls or gunshots [3A].  Negative experiences in childhood are highly prevalent.  These can include not only childhood abuse, but parental mental illness or imprisonment. Continue reading →

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April 26, 2026 · 1:00 am

Good Men

Domestic violence has again been in the news lately.  But I received the following response from an old friend, on the topic:

I don’t claim to understand the violence in society. I do know there are many men out there who are as outraged as I am. I am lucky enough to go to a church with many good men.

We have a monthly men’s lunch to talk and share stories. Guess who organizes this group?
Don’t give up on us!
                                        Steve

With that in mind, I thought it worthwhile to republish the following post.

Despite what some women may have experienced, there are good men out there. The trick can be finding them. For that, we have to apply appropriate criteria [1] [2].

While this is not a dating guide, I offer you some of the Bible’s advice on the topic. The language may sound old fashioned, but the sentiments apply to our day.

A good man exemplifies integrity, both in his public and private life. This should be the standard women, also, demand of themselves.

“If I have walked with falsehood, Or if my foot has hastened to deceit, Let me be weighed on honest scales, That God may know my integrity” (Job 31: 5-6).

A good man deals justly with others, whatever their status. 

“If I have despised the cause of my male or female servant When they complained against me, What then shall I do when God rises up?…Did not He who made me in the womb make them? Did not the same One fashion us in the womb?…” (Job 31: 13-15, 21-22).

A good man sets godly priorities in his life, actively living out his faith. This means more than his just attending church on Sundays. It involves forgiving others; extending help to the needy; and trying to do right in all things. It does not involve a pompous or superior attitude. Continue reading →

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April 12, 2026 · 1:00 am

Witnessing Evil – Secondary Trauma

Plate No. 9 (“They Do Not Want To”) from the series “The Disasters of War” by Francisco Goya (1810s), Source Arno Schmidt Reference Library (PD)

The impact of witnessing trauma of any kind is profound. This is known as secondary or vicarious trauma. It leaves a scar on the psyche. Symptoms can range from sadness, fear, and guilt, to anxiety and emotional numbness [1A].

Secondary Trauma

Of course, trauma takes many forms and is not limited to abuse. We may, for instance, witness an auto accident, seeing victims removed from the scene. Those in law enforcement, emergency care, and frontline journalism frequently experience this [1B][2].

But many of us will encounter secondary trauma simply through life experience.

A. Domestic Violence

Children who witness domestic violence in the home are exposed to evil firsthand, and are most vulnerable to the effects of vicarious trauma. It shapes their character and their view of the world even if they, themselves, are not the victims.

Boys are far more likely to become abusers; girls, to seek out abusers as partners. The statistics are appalling [3].

B. Bullying

We may as children have seen others bullied, feeling powerless, ourselves, to intervene.

C. Vicarious Abuse

Whether as children or adults, we may see a beloved friend or relative gradually worn away by domestic violence, her self-esteem eroded.

Though we may never actually see the blows struck, this is for us, in effect, vicarious abuse. If we try unsuccessfully to persuade that friend or relative to leave her situation, we are bound to feel frustrated, angry, and helpless.

What We Can Do

If we do lose a loved one to abuse, we are not as helpless as we may feel.

A few of us may become advocates, as a result, in or out of the courtroom. Far more will go on to interact with countless other women we can educate about domestic violence. While we may never give formal lectures, we can share our experience with friends, coworkers, and a host of others.

As important, we can treat them the way they should be treated. And we can raise our own children to know they deserve better from a relationship.

That has the power to save lives.

—

[1A and 1B] Office for Victims of  Crime (OVC), “The Vicarious Trauma Tool Kit — What Is Vicarious Trauam?”, https://ovc.ojp.gov/program/vtt/what-is-vicarious-trauma.

[2] ACLS, “Understanding Secondary Trauma: The Impact of Witnessing Traumatic Events” by Melanie Kolmetz, DFAAPA, EMT-P, https://acls.com/articles/the-impact-of-witnessing-traumatic events/.

[3] Domestic Shelters, “Children and Domestic Violence”, 1/17/15, https://domesticshelters.org/resources/statistics/children-and-domestic-violence.

The US Supreme Court has ruled against a Colorado law which prohibited so called “conversion therapy” in cases of gender dysphoria.  The Supreme Court considers such counseling “free speech,” therefore, protected. 

See, https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/national-international/supreme-court-rules-conversion-therapy/4081114/.

Some 23 states have prohibited licensed Christian counselors from exploring underlying issues with patients suffering from this condition, or advising how they might align their perceived gender and biological sex.  

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT:  https://alawyersprayers.com

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April 5, 2026 · 1:00 am

Easter Sunday

Children dressed for Easter, Tallahassee, FL (1957), Source/Author Florida Memory, State Library and Archives, https://floridamemory.com/items/show/261196 (PD per Section 257.35(6) Florida Statutes)

Easter Sunday was an important day on the calendar when we were children. 

We would be dressed in our best Spring finery for church – Easter bonnets, white cotton gloves, starched dresses, lace anklets, patent leather shoes.  With trees coming into bud and daffodils in bloom, the whole world seemed fresh and new.

Of course, appearances can be deceiving.  Child abuse can be disguised for the world.  But no amount of chocolate eggs or jelly beans can make up for it.

These days the focus seems more on the Easter bunny than the Resurrection.  Which is a tragedy, since it is Christ who offers abuse victims genuine comfort and healing. 

He offers us, in fact, a new life (whatever may have caused our scars).

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new” (2 Cor. 5: 17).

Wishing you all a Happy Easter!

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

 

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March 29, 2026 · 1:00 am

Sins Against Self, Part 2

“Jesus of the Stripped Loyalty with Green Tunic” (10th Station of the Cross), Source/Author Aendomekio3 (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

We continue our examination of sins against the self to which abuse victims are prone [1].

Self-Pity/Self-Hatred/Self-Harm

We hate ourselves not only for the sins against us, but for the sins we have committed, and the mistakes we have made – sometimes wallowing in self-pity, sometimes consumed with self-contempt [2][3].  This manifests as a harshly self-critical inner dialog or continuous stream of negative thoughts.  We may even contemplate self-harm [4].

Self-Reliance

In fleeing from a God we hold responsible for our abuse or believe abandoned us, we may choose extreme self-reliance [5].  This is a brittle defense which fails to take into account the fact that all we are, and all we have, is from God.  Endurance, itself, is a form of His grace.

Suffering as a Gift

Whether we realize it or not, we are engaged in a lifelong spiritual battle.  Not because we were once victimized, but because Satan wants all of us (abuse victims or not) to feel victimized for the rest of our lives.  He wants us focused inward on ourselves and our wounds, rather than outward toward God and others.

That is not, however, God’s plan for us.  Which is why He sent His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for us – for our sins, the whole long list.  And to offer us instead an abundant life. Continue reading →

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