Category Archives: domestic violence

September 6, 2026 · 1:00 am

Unrequited

“Ich Liebe Dich (I Love You) – Broken Heart”, Source https://www.flickr.com/photos/donaldjudge/52226706001/, Author Donald Judge, (Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic)

You love someone desperately.  Being around the beloved is a joy, whether the interaction is romantic or not.  You live on hope that a relationship will develop.  Only the object of your affection does not return your love, and may not even be aware of it.

Unrequited love is the experience of strong romantic feelings that go unreciprocated [1A].  

This one-sided affection leads to intense sadness, feelings of rejection, and emotional exhaustion – not surprising, since the brain processes romantic rejection similarly to physical pain [2A].

Roots of Unrequited Love

The victims of childhood abuse or neglect may be particularly vulnerable to unrequited love [3A][4A].

Abuse (whether emotional, physical, or sexual) and neglect leave us with the haunting feeling that we are damaged and unworthy of love.  We idealize love, and are happy with the smallest crumbs of affection.

Attachment Styles

As a result, some of us develop an “avoidant” attachment style.  Unconsciously, we pursue emotionally distant partners. 

This allows us the illusion of a relationship with all its emotional highs and lows while, at the same time, preserving our control, letting us avoid vulnerability, and reinforcing our belief that we are unlovable [1B][3B]. 

In a genuine relationship, our flaws would be visible.  The prospect of that is too frightening.

Others develop an “anxious” or needy attachment style.  We may fixate on unavailable partners, but interpret unresponsiveness as a challenge to win affection [1C][3C][7].  We simply try harder. 

This keeps us attached to narcissists who dole out affection with an eye dropper [3D]. In fact, we seek out partners that make us feel needed (ignoring the red flags that should send us running for safety).

The approach can, also, undermine healthy relationships.  Any slight by a partner is immediately interpreted as a lack of concern or outright abandonment.  No reassurance is sufficient, and the relationship eventually fails.

Impact of Unrequited Love

Unreciprocated affection can lower our self-esteem, causing us to question our desirability and value [1D][4B].  We replay conversations and events endlessly, in the fruitless search for clues to securing the love we so desire [2B].

Over time, unrequited love can lead to negative self-talk, self-doubt, and even depression [5A].  It may, also, impede forming meaningful connections with available partners [6A].  We may not even recognize that they are there.

Link to Obsession

As mentioned, childhood abuse or neglect can manifest as the maladaptive attempt to regulate our fear of abandonment and sense of unworthiness by clinging to a disinterested romantic partner [7].  The degree to which we cling to the illusion of a relationship actually reflects the emptiness inside us.

Anger and resentment can, also, emerge when our admiration for the beloved is frustrated [2C].

This is the emotional turmoil that is obsession.

Healing from Unrequited Love

Recovering from unrequited love is definitely possible.  Distance from the beloved can be a major step in the direction of healing [3E][5B][6B].  This should be coupled with self-care, and supportive relationships.  Professional counseling can help us gain perspective.

Our challenge is to exchange idealization for a realistic understanding of love.  Neither we nor our partner will ever be perfect.  We do not have to be to deserve love.

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[1A through 1D]  Science News Today, “Unrequited Love:  The Science, Psychology, and Human Experience of Loving Without Return”, 11/4/25, https://www.sciencenewstoday.org/unrequited-love-the-science-psychology-and-human-experience-of-loving-without-return.

[2A, 2B, and 2C]  PsyCix, “The Psychological Effects of Unrequited Love”, 11/24/25, https://www.psycix.com/article/the-psychological-effects-of-unrequited-love.

[3A through 3E]  PsychCentral, “How Childhood Emotional Neglect Impacts Adult Relationships and How to Heal” by Hope Gillette, 7/13/22, https://psychcentral.com/relationships/childhood-emotional-neglect-romantic-relationships.

[4A and 4B]  Brainz Magazine, “Why Childhood Sexual Abuse Could Be Affecting Your Love Life Now” by Sandra Cohen PhD, 2/19/25, https://www.brainzmagazine.com/post/why-childhood-sexual-abuse-could-be-affecting-your-love-life-now.

[5A and 5B]  Marriage, “7 Possible Effects of Unrequited Love & What You Can Do” by Dylan Banks, 3/25/26, https://www.marriage.com/advice/self-love/effects-of-unrequited-love/.

[6A and 6B]  Psychreg, “Unrequited Love Can Harm Your Mental Health But There Are Ways to Heal” by Dino Relojo, 11/7/25, https://www.psychreg.org/unrequited-love-can-harm-your-mental-health-but-there-are-ways-heal/.

[7]  Psychology Today, “How Childhood Neglect Can Turn Love into Obsession” by Annie Tanasugarn, 12/24/25, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-ptsd/202512/how-childhood-neglect-can-turn-love-into-obsession.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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August 30, 2026 · 1:00 am

Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, and Homelessness

Unknown homeless man, Author Magdalena Roeseler, (Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported)

We tend to shun the homeless. We may pity them, may even refer to them using the politically correct term “unhoused individuals” which supposedly preserves their dignity while doing nothing to improve their condition.

But we are likely to feel disgusted or threatened by them, at the same time.

Admittedly, a majority of the homeless do suffer from mental illness and/or addiction [1]. Yet research has consistently shown that there is strong correlation between childhood abuse and later homelessness [2].

And it should not be overlooked that approximately 1/3 of the homeless are families with children (85% of them single mothers) — some 259,473 men, women, and children among the estimated 770,00 homeless in the United States [7].

There is a link not just to child abuse, but to domestic violence here.  Over 92% of homeless mothers with children have experienced severe physical and/or sexual violence during their lifetimes [8].  Moreover, 38% of all domestic violence victims become homeless at some point in their lives [9].

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

The highly respected Adverse Childhood Experiences framework — widely used in public health, medicine, education, and social services — arose from a landmark study by the Centers for Disease Control and Kaiser Permanente in the 1990s [3A]. 

Over 17,000 participants were asked about adverse childhood experiences in three categories:  abuse (emotional, physical or sexual); neglect (emotional or physical); and household dysfunction (parental mental illness, parental substance abuse, domestic violence, parental separation or divorce, and parental incarceration).

Among the homeless, 89.8% reported having had 1 or more adverse childhood experiences, and 53.9% reported having had 4 or more [4A].  In the general population, 38-39% reported having had 1 adverse childhood experience, while 3-5% reported having had 4 or more [4B].

Impact of Childhood Trauma

Childhood trauma creates vulnerabilities that may compound with time [3B]:

  • Childhood trauma alters brain structure and function, making it more difficult to manage emotions, and reach sound decisions.  This has the potential to undermine stable housing and employment, as an adult.
  • Childhood trauma damages children’s trust and disrupts the support systems they need to thrive, interfering with their ability to form healthy relationships.  Chaos is normalized.  Self-sabotage becomes an unconscious life strategy. This can result in unstable adult relationships and attraction to abusive partners.  Social isolation can be a maladaptive means of self-protection, leading to avoidance of services like schools, job programs, or shelters that could be of help.
  • Childhood trauma increases the risk of mental illness which, also, has the potential to undermine stable housing and employment.  Those with over 4 adverse childhood experiences are at 4.6 times the risk of depression, and 12 times the risk of suicide, compared with the general population.
  • Childhood trauma greatly increases the risk of alcoholism and drug addiction.  Those with over 4 adverse childhood experience are at over 7 times the risk of alcoholism, and over 10 times the risk of intravenous drug use.  Self-medication becomes addiction.

Foster Care

Not only do the children placed in foster care all too often experience further trauma there, but aging out of foster care puts them at extraordinary risk of homelessness. They simply have no support system.  Between 20-25% of those aging out of foster care are homeless within 4 years; over 50% are homeless by age 26 [3C].

Runaways

This does not take into account the young people who run away from unsafe homes where violence or sexual abuse is ongoing daily [5A].  These become the children of the streets, the easy prey of pimps and sex traffickers [6].

The Root of Homelessness

Early intervention; trauma informed services at school; regular monitoring and support, if children are placed in foster care; provision for adequate housing in Safety/Treatment Plans when children are about to age out of foster care; and trauma-informed healthcare are key to addressing the problem of homelessness at its root [5B].

This is the responsibility of a civilized society. Of course, we may not qualify as that.

“Is this not the fast I [your God] have chosen…To undo the heavy burdens, To let the oppressed go free…? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out; When you see the naked, that you cover him, And not hide yourself from your own flesh?” (Isa. 58: 6-7).

—

[1] Psychiatric News, “Most People Experiencing Homelessness Have Mental Health Disorders, Study Says”, https://alert.psychnews.org/2024/04/most-people-experiencing-homelessness.html.

[2]  Wikipedia, “Youth homelessness”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Youth_homelessness.

[3A, 3B, and 3C]  The Steady Ground, “Childhood Trauma and Adult Homelessness:  The ACEs Connection”, January 2025, https://thesteadyground.org/articles/childhood-trauma-homelessness.html.

[4A and 4B]  The Lancet, “Adverse childhood experiences and homelessness:  advance and aspirations” by Katherine Koh and Ann Montgomery,   https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpub/article/PIIS2468-2667%2821%2900210-3/fulltext.

[5A and 5B]  National Crimes Against Children Investigators Assoc. (NCACIA), “Nowhere to Go:  Understanding the Link Between Child Abuse and Homelessness”, https://www.ncacia.org/post/nowhere-to-go-understanding-the-link-between-child-abuse-and-homelessness.

[6]  2026 Calendar-Canada, “What’s the difference between a pimp and a trafficker?”, https://www.calendar-canada.ca/frequently-asked-questions/whats-the-difference-between-a-pimp-and-a-trafficker.

[7] Institute for Children, Poverty, & Homelessness, “The Hidden Homelessness: Families with Children in the US”, August 2025, https://www.icph.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Family-Homelessness-101-National-WEB_8.21.25.pdf.

[8] Green Doors, “Family Homelessness Facts”, https://www.greendoors.org/facts/family-homelessness.php.

[9] American Bar Association, “Five Facts about Domestic and Sexual Violence and Homelessness”, https://www.americanbar.org/groups/domestic_violence/Initiatives/five-for-five/five-facts-homelessness/.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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August 16, 2026 · 1:00 am

Fidelity

Wedding photo of Charles and Kathleen Whitman (1962), Source eBay, Author unknown (Public Domain).

The Bible describes marital fidelity as a sacred commitment involving love, respect, and faithfulness between spouses [1].

A Divine Covenant

The Bible views marriage as a divinely instituted covenant where a husband and wife become “one flesh” (Gen. 2: 24) [2].  Fidelity is central to this covenant, so sexual immorality or adultery is explicitly condemned (Heb. 13: 4).  The Seventh Commandment, of course, forbids adultery (Ex. 20: 14).

A Loving Bond

However, marital fidelity extends beyond avoiding adultery.  It encompasses honesty, loyalty, and a deep respect.  The Bible instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loves His church (Eph. 5:25), and wives to respect their husbands (Eph. 5: 33).  Such love is not just a feeling, but an unwavering bond [3].

Sexual Fulfillment

Surprisingly, the Bible specifically addresses sexual fidelity within marriage, emphasizing that spouses should fulfill each other’s conjugal rights to prevent temptation and maintain intimacy (1 Cor. 7: 3-5).  Lustful intent constitutes adultery in the heart (Matt. 5: 28).

Sexual Revolution

We may today think this old fashioned. 

After all, the sexual revolution of the 1960s changed attitudes and behavior related to sexuality throughout the Western World [4].  Nearly 2 in 5 children in the United States – some 1 million children – are now born out of wedlock each year [5A][6].  More than 2 in 3 Black children are born outside marriage [7]. This is part of a global trend, with out of wedlock births exceeding 50% in many countries [5B].

Poverty and Out of Wedlock Births

Unfortunately, research consistently shows that children born out of wedlock face poverty risks approximately 5 times higher than those born to married parents [8].  This is because single parents often have lower household incomes, fewer resources, and less access to economic stability. 

Studies find that never-married mothers work less outside the home, earn less when they do work outside the home, and experience slower income growth compared to married or divorced mothers [9].  This limits their ability to lift their children out of poverty.  

Growing up in poverty can have a profound and lasting impact on children’s self-esteem [10].  Children living in poverty often face stressors like chronic food insecurity, unstable housing, and limited access to healthcare, all of which can ultimately lead to anxiety, depression, and behavioral issues [11]. 

Modeling

Moreover, children raised in single parent households do not see fidelity modeled.   They do not see women treated with respect, hence the term “baby mamas” for unmarried mothers who no longer have even the status of girlfriends.  It is not a great leap to domestic violence.

Abuse Risk

Studies show that children in single-parent households are at greater risk of abuse and neglect as compared to those living with married biological parents, and at greater risk of witnessing domestic violence [12][13].

History

There may be still another lesson to be drawn here. 

The ethnologist and social anthropologist JD Unwin found a correlation between marital fidelity and cultural achievement across the 80 tribes and 6 major civilizations he studied, covering a period of 5000 years [14]. The people groups who became increasingly liberal toward sexual morality eventually vanished.

Having embraced so called “sexual freedom” in the name of progress, we may well have doomed ourselves to the ash heap of history, regardless of our technological achievements.

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[1]  OpenBible, “Marital Fidelity”, https://www.openbible.info/topics/marital_fidelity.

[2]  BibleHub, “The Seriousness of Marital Fidelity”, https://biblehub.com/topical/t/the_seriousness_of_marital_fidelity.htm.

[3]  BibleRepository, “35 Important Bible Verses about Fidelity to Relationships (Explained)” by “Pastor David”, 5/12/26, https://biblerepository.com/bible-verses-about-fidelity-to-relationships/.

[4]  Wikpedia, “Sexual revolution”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_revolution#:~:text=The%20sexual%20revolution%2C%20also%20known%20as%20the%20sexual,late%201950s%20to%20the%20early%201970s.%20%5B1%5D%20.

[5A and 5B]  World Population Review, “Out of Wedlock Births by Country 2026”, https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/out-of-wedlock-births-by-country.

[6]  Institute for Family Studies, “America’s Unmarried Birth Rate Puts 1 Million Kids at Risk A Year” by Nicholas Zill, 6/3/26, https://ifstudies.org/blog/americas-unmarried-birth-rate-puts-1-million-kids-at-risk-a-year.

[7]  World Data, “Unmarried Birthrate by Race in US:  Statistics and Facts”, 10/29/25, https://theworlddata.com/unmarried-birth-rate-by-race/.

[8]  American Enterprise Institute (AEI), “Dynamics of Families after a Non-Marital Birth” by Angela Rachidi, 1/8/24, https://www.aei.org/research-products/report/dynamics-of-families-after-a-nonmarital-birth/.

[9]  Institute for Family Studies, “The Poverty of Single Mothers Is Persistent” by Nicholas Wolfinger and Matthew McKeever, 5/6/25, https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-poverty-of-single-mothers-is-persistent.

[10]  Academia, “Recognition, Poverty and Self-Respect” by Jonathan Seglow, 7/21/20, https://www.academia.edu/67998406/Recognition_Poverty_and_Self_Respect.

[11]  PS 169 Baychester Academy, “How poverty influences social-emotional learning” by “Rick”, 8/26/24, https://baychesteracademy.org/how-poverty-influences-social-emotional-learning/.

[12] Hope 4 Hurting Kids, “Risks of Child Abuse and Neglect Based on Family Structure” (adapted from an article originally published on Divorce Ministry 4 Kids 9/28/11), https://hope4hurtingkids.com/trauma-tragedy/abuse/risks-of-child-abuse-and-neglect-based-on-family-structure/.

[13] Institute for Family Studies, “Kids of Single Parents More Likely to Witness Domestic Violence” by Nicholas Zill, 1/6/15, https://ifstudies.org/blog/children-in-single-parent-families-are-more-likely-to-witness-domestic-violence/.

[14]  Wikipedia, “JD Unwin”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._D._Unwin.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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August 9, 2026 · 1:00 am

Valor and PTSD

Tattered American flag at scene of devastation following F-5 tornado in Oklahoma, Image released by US Armed Forces (ID DF-SD-00-03241), Author Sgt Bill Kimble, (Public Domain)

Valor, noun – strength of mind or spirit that enables a person to encounter danger with firmness : personal bravery

Valor may be an old fashioned word these days.  It is something quiet.  Something internal.

Society applauds courage – a much prized quality that involves action in the face of danger, action despite fear.  We picture it on the battlefield, flags waving and bullets flying.  Civic associations award medals for it, as well they should.

But there are all kinds of battlefields.  Many of us carry our battlefields inside.  They are no less perilous, no less grimy, no less bloody for that.   Only the blood, the sweat, and the tears are our own.

We carry scars from the battles fought and lost, many when we were grossly outmatched as children.  All our failures remain present with us; they haunt us like ghosts.  Our victories vanish like soap bubbles.  Yet we continue to look death in the face almost daily, and persevere to survive another day [1][2][3].

This is life with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  The wounds inflicted on us – whether from childhood abuse and neglect, or domestic violence – were undeserved.  The guilt for them is not ours, but we carry the shame regardless.

The demons we wrestle – anxiety, depression, self-doubt, self-loathing – rarely sleep.

At times, we seek to numb the pain.  The anesthetics we use for this vary – drugs, alcohol, razor blades, food, sex, work.  But they provide little relief.  We simply harm ourselves further.

What we fail to recognize is the sheer valor required to endure in the face of such an unrelenting onslaught.  There is no better word for the strength of mind and spirit required to remain steadfast and carry on.

Medals or no, we deserve to hold our heads up.

—

[1] Psychiatry Advisor, “Trauma and Suicide”, https://www.psychiatryadvisor.com/factsheets/trauma-and-suicide/.

[2] PTSD UK, “Suicide amongst people with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder”, https://www.ptsduk.org/suicide-amongst-people-with-ptsd/.

[3] US Dept. of Veterans Affairs, National Center for PTSD, “The Relationship Between PTSD and Suicide”, https://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/treat/cooccurring/suicide_ptsd.asp.

A New Mexico court has ordered Meta (the parent of Instagram and Facebook) to pay $567 million for harming children. The social media giant must eliminate push notifications at night and during school hours, reduce time limits on its apps to no more than 90 hours/month, and put AI chatbox safeguards in place for users under 18 y.o.

For more information, see https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-08-07/meta-ordered-to-pay-us567-million-in-new-mexico-/107008246.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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July 26, 2026 · 1:00 am

Pornography, Part 3 – Pornography Addiction and Sexual Addiction

Jesus Preachers March 1/21/17, Source https://www.flickr.com/photos/perspective/32511928535/, Author Elvert Barnes (CC BY-SA 2.0 Generic)

What the true crime series Lethally Blonde does not directly address is pornography addiction or sexual addiction, both of which feed the pornography industry [1].

Pornography Profits

There is a common misconception that if one does not pay for pornography, one is not responsible for the exploitation it supports and the harm it causes.  But — as discussed in Part 1 of this series — there is really no such thing as “ethical porn”, despite assertions by the pornography industry to the contrary.

Ad revenue is a major driver of profit for the pornography industry.  The more views pornographic websites get, the more money pornographers can charge for ads, and the more money they make.

The lack of age and consent verification on pornography websites has proven to be highly profitable for the industry.

Violence and Child Sexual Abuse

Pornography offers countless instances of filmed violence against women and child sexual abuse.  These include graphic images of rape, incest, and bestiality.  Some people will spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars for an adult video tailored to their individual tastes, however perverse.

Pornography Addiction vs. Sexual Addiction

Pornography addiction and sexual addiction are two distinct things [2A].  Porn addiction involves the compulsive use of pornography, usually online.  The behavior tends to be private and repetitive.  Sex addiction, on the other hand, involves repeated real life sexual encounters with others.

A. Symptoms

The symptoms of pornography addiction are, as follows [2B].

  • Compulsive and/or excessive porn use with increasing amounts of time expended;
  • Development of “cravings”, i.e. the strong urge to watch porn;
  • Difficulty in stopping or cutting back on porn;
  • Use of porn to cope with stress, boredom, and/or other emotions;
  • Secrecy around device use;
  • Loss of interest in real-life intimacy; and
  • Guilt or shame after use.

Significantly, pornography can sometimes be a coping mechanism for child sexual abuse survivors [3A]. It is, however, maladaptive.

By comparison, the symptoms of sexual addiction are, as follow [2C]:

  • Compulsive sexual behavior involving others, i.e. repeated affairs, “hook-ups”, or risky sexual encounters;
  • Preoccupation with sex and sexual opportunities;
  • Difficulty controlling sexual urges;
  • Escalation to riskier behaviors over time;
  • Lying to partners or loved ones;
  • Relationship conflict related to trust issues; and
  • Emotional distress or shame after sexual encounters.

B. Impact

Overloading the brain’s pleasure circuits can lead to structural, functional, and molecular changes in the prefrontal cortex (the seat of emotional regulation, self-control, decision making, planning, and ultimately morality) [5][6][7].

Porn addiction results in decreased sexual satisfaction, and increased emotional numbness [2D]. Porn addiction has been linked to higher rates of suicidal thoughts [8].  Yet, fewer than 1/3 of young people believe that pornography is bad for society [3B]. 

Sexual addiction results in severe relationship damage, and workplace or legal consequence [2E].

C. Remedy

The answer to porn addiction lies in identifying triggers and changing the habits related to porn use; reduced access to porn; and development of alternative coping skills [2F].  Therapy focused on impulse control can be helpful. 

Sex addiction, on the other hand, requires intensive therapy; an accountability structure; and relationship counseling [2G].

Reclaim Sexual Health https://www.reclaimsexualhealth.com/ is an anonymous online recovery program offering science-based Christian resources for those seeking to overcome pornography and/or sexual addiction [4]. Navigate Betrayal https://www.reclaimsexualhealth.com/ is the related program for the partners and spouses of pornography and/or sex addicts.

Biblical View

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification:  that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God” (1 Thess. 4: 3-5).

Scripture emphasizes that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6: 19-20).  Purity plays a key role in a life that is pleasing to God.  The lusts of the flesh are not of God (1 John 2: 15-17).  We are, therefore, to flee from temptation (1 Cor. 10: 13). 

This is not, however, a simple matter of will power.  Rather, we are to renew our minds by immersing ourselves in the word of God (Rom. 12: 1).  He changes us from the inside out.

—

[1]  National Center on Sexual Exploitation, “Inside the Pornography Industry’s Profit Model:  Ads, Addiction, and Abuse” by Stephen Trendell, 8/20/25, https://endsexualexploitation.org/articles/inside-the-pornography-industrys-profit-model-ads-addiction-and-abuse/.

[2A through 2G]  Porn Addiction, “What’s the Difference Between Porn Addiction and Sex Addiction?”, 1/28/26, https://www.pornaddiction.org/porn-addiction-vs-sex-addiction/.

[3A and 3B]  Mission Network News, “Addiction, the ‘p-word’, and childhood abuse” by Katey Hearth, 5/2/24, https://www.mnnonline.org/news/addiction-the-p-word-and-childhood-abuse/.

[4] EWTN On Demand, “Bruce and Jeannie Hannemann: Hope in Living with an Addiction”, https://ondemand.ewtn.com/Home/Play/en/PWS17009.

[5] Mental Health, “The Brains of Porn Addicts” by Lesley Wirth (medically reviewed by Jesse Hanson PhD), 6/4/26, https://www.mentalhealth.com/library/the-brains-of-porn-addicts.

[6] Frontiers, “Disrupted synapses: prefrontal cortex-reward circuit dysfunction in stress-induced depression-like behaviors” by Ashraf Mahmud and Mehmet Karaman, 5/19/26, https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/cellular-neuroscience/articles/10.3389/fncel.2026.1843871/full.

[7] Wikipedia, “Neuromorality”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuromorality.

[8] Your Brain on Porn, “Problematic pornography use and suicidal thoughts:  Results from cross-sectional and longitudinal analyses” by JS McGraw et al, 2024, https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/problematic-pornography-use-and-suicidal-thoughts-results-from-cross-sectional-and-longitudinal-analyses/.

Parts 1 and 2 in this series were posted 7/12 and 7/19/26, respectively

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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July 12, 2026 · 1:09 am

Pornography, Part 1 – Influencers and Content Creators

Lethally Blonde is a true crime series produced by Investigation Discovery (ID) and hosted by executive‑producer and former Playboy model Holly Madison [1].  Real life murder cases related, in one way or another, to the pornography industry are examined. 

These are sad, often tawdry, stories of lives that have taken a downward spiral into darkness.

Pornography and Sex Trafficking

Pornography and sex trafficking are closely intertwined. The average age of entry into pornography or prostitution is between 12 and 14 years [11].

Individuals may be recorded without their consent, frequently during instances of sexual violence [12].  They may be manipulated or coerced into performing sexual acts against their will. They may be misled about the nature of a scene or threatened with blacklisting in the film industry, if they do not comply.

Sexual Exploitation and Lies

While Lethally Blonde does not moralize – far from that – it documents in graphic detail the devastating consequences of sexual exploitation as a form of entertainment.

Intentionally or not, four lies are repeatedly exposed by the series: 

  • that sex is a mere commodity, unrelated to emotion;
  • that the sale of sex is a legitimate and painless way of accumulating wealth and fame;
  • that wealth and fame are synonymous with happiness; and
  • that on screen and online performances reflect reality.

Some of us may consider these lies so obvious they do not need discussion.  However, our young people are being fed them daily.  A few statistics should drive this point home. 

Pornography in the United States

In the 21st Century, pornography has been mainstreamed with pornographers now innocuously called “content creators” [3]. 

Several studies have confirmed that the United States is the largest producer of pornography in the world [2A].  Sources quoted by Forbes put the revenue generated from video networks and pay-per-view movies on cable and satellite, websites, in-room hotel movies, phone sex, sex toys, and magazines at between $2.6 and $3.9 billion [2B]. 

A 2023 survey by Common Sense Media of 1,300 teens ages 13 y.o. to 17 y.o. found that 73% watched online pornography [4]. This is far from harmless. 

Parallels may well exist between underage pornography exposure and child sexual abuse (either reinforcing the later consumption of pornography as an adult, manifesting as sexual coercion in the attempt to reconcile conflicting emotions from such exposure, or manifesting as disassociation in the form of abject surrender to any sexual advance) [8]. 

Sex Influencers

Social media has become an integral part of identity formation among teens [5A].  Online “influencers” shape what teens think about how they should look, and what they should achieve – whether insofar as fashion, beauty, fitness, or lifestyle [5B]. 

Influencers can be especially powerful because they offer teens a carefully selected version of reality that feels genuine though staged for consumption, real-time feedback, and a sense of belonging [6].

So called “sex positivity” is one trend among influencers [9]. It emphasizes sex as simply a natural, healthy aspect of life without shame or stigma, and encourages teens to explore diverse sexual orientations and gender identities [10]. One has to wonder who is funding this agenda.

Sex and Murder

Courtney Clenney was one such influencer, an attractive teen who recognized that she could make money online by marketing her looks. 

Gradually, she progressed to nudity, and finally online sex on a subscription site called OnlyFans.  This produced tremendous income for her, and an upscale if degenerate lifestyle. 

Clenney is today charged with second degree murder in the stabbing death of her boyfriend Christian Obumseli [7].  She claims self-defense, alleging domestic violence although evidence strongly suggests that she was the aggressor.

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[1]  Show Biz Junkies, “’Lethally Blonde’ True Crime Series Preview and Episode Guide” by Rebecca Murray, 3/12/24, https://www.showbizjunkies.com/tv/lethally-blonde-true-crime-series-preview/.

[2A and 2B]  Wikipedia, “Pornography in the United States”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornography_in_the_United_States.

[3]  Art and Popular Culture, “Pornography in the United States”, https://www.artandpopularculture.com/American_pornography.

[4]  Psychology Today, “New Report Finds Most Teens Watch Online Pornography”  by Thomas Lickona PhD, 6/1/23, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/raising-kind-kids/202305/new-report-finds-most-teens-watch-online-pornography.

[5A and 5B]  Psychology Today, “Likes and Lies:  The Effects of Influencers on Teens” by Robin Sterns, 3/9/25, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/power-in-relationships/202503/likes-and-lies-the-effects-of-influencers-on-teens.

[6]  Psychology Today, “Behind the Influence of Influencers” by Robin Stern PhD, 5/19/24, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/power-in-relationships/202405/behind-the-influence-of-influencers.

[7]  MSN, “OnlyFans model Courtney Clenney denied bond; judge sets trial date for April”,  https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/onlyfans-model-courtney-clenney-denied-bond-judge-sets-trial-date-for-april/ar-AA1SBRKa?ocid=BingNewsSerp.

[8] Frontiers, “Impact of pornography consumption on children and adolescents:  a trauma-informed approach”, 9/28/25, https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/child-and-adolescent-psychiatry/articles/10.3389/frcha.2025.1567649/full.

[9] Psych Central, “All About Sex Positivity” by Jennifer Litner PhD, 7/30/21, https://psychcentral.com/health/sex-positivity-meaning.

[10] Belessa, “7 sex influencers you need to be following” by Gabrielle Noel, https://www.bellesa.co/en/collective/232/7-sex-positive-influencers-you-need-to-be-following.

[11] Fight the New Drug, “By the Numbers: Is the Porn Industry Connected to Sex Trafficking?”, https://fightthenewdrug.org/by-the-numbers-porn-sex-trafficking-connected/.

[12] End Slavery Now, “The Relationship Between Porn and Human Trafficking”, 1/31/22, https://www.endslaverynow.org/blog/articles/the-relationship-between-porn-and-human-trafficking.

This series will continue next week with Part 2 – Adult Film Stars

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June 28, 2026 · 1:00 am

On the Attack

Cartoon image of woman using profanity, Author Unknown, (CC0 1.0 Universal Public Dedication)

Both child abuse and domestic abuse can leave lasting scars on our lives.  One of these is the tendency to see abusers where they do not exist.  Innocent gestures, innocent remarks by those who have never harmed us can be misperceived as predatory.  In response, we may go on the attack.

This response on our part may seem a minor difficulty.  After all, “better safe than sorry,” as the saying goes.  In reality, however, it can damage careers and destroy relationships. 

Our co-workers and partner or spouse are not likely to understand why we are being defensive.  In the workplace, that can provoke conflict, leading to false accusations, formal investigations, and dismissal.  In the home, it can lead to unnecessary arguments, emotional distance, and ultimately divorce.

Hypervigilance/Cognitive Distortion

The feeling that everyone is an abuser can be a sign of hypervigilance and trauma-related cognitive distortion [1][2][3].  We are so alert to danger that we see it everywhere, even when it is not present.  This pattern is particularly common when the genuine abuse we experienced involved enforced isolation, surveillance, or constant provocation.

Anxiety

Unfortunately, seeing everyone as an abuser can reduce the trust we have in others, increasing our anxiety and fear of social contact.  That makes it harder to form healthy relationships, reinforcing a cycle of isolation and self-blame.

Steps Toward Change

Recognizing our distorted thinking can be a step toward change.  Hypervigilance is a learned response.  Keeping a journal, and noting when our perceptions were accurate and when they were not, can be of great assistance.

Seeking the input of trusted friends and licensed mental health professionals is another helpful approach.  Positive experiences of any kind can “recalibrate” the brain’s threat detection.

It is possible to recover a more balanced perspective, and reclaim our trust of others.

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[1]  Healthline, “What Is Hypervigilance?” by Timothy Legg PhD, 3/21/23, https://www.healthline.com/health/hypervigilance.

[2]  Wikipedia, “Hypervigilance”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypervigilance.

[3]  Cogntive Psychology, “Cognitive Distortions”, https://www.cognitivepsychology.com/Cognitive_Distortions.

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June 14, 2026 · 1:00 am

PTSD and the Brain

Computerized Axial Tomography (CAT Scan) of the human brain, (CC 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication)

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), from which many abuse victims suffer, is not “merely” a psychological condition.  While PTSD does not qualify as a Traumatic Brain Injury, it does causes physical changes in the brain which impact the processing of emotions and memories [1A][2A][3A].

For those who may be unfamiliar with PTSD, it can result from childhood abuse, domestic violence, or other trauma.  PTSD is often accompanied by anxiety, depression, intense nightmares, sudden outbursts of anger, and/or flashbacks to the traumatic event [3B][4].

Childhood Trauma and Gray Matter

“Adverse childhood experiences have been linked to functional impairments across multiple developmental areas, including difficulty with peer relationships, problems regulating emotions, and deficits in cognitive and language development [2A].”

A large study found that childhood trauma is linked to reduced gray matter in the frontal lobe, independent of any psychiatric diagnosis [2B].  The reductions were concentrated in areas involved in planning, self-control, and evaluating social situations.

Significantly, those who experienced multiple forms of childhood trauma or more severe trauma showed more pronounced gray matter loss. Continue reading →

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May 10, 2026 · 1:00 am

Coerced Abortion

Hand holding a generic abortion pill pack containing 1 mifepristone and 4 misoprostol, Author plancpillsdotorg (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

WARNING:  Graphic Images

Catherine Herring of Texas was unknowingly given the abortion pill seven times by her husband, in his attempt to kill their unborn child [1A][2A].  Thankfully, the baby girl, Josephine, survived.  Tragically, this was not an isolated incident.

Coercion

Forced abortions are employed by men seeking to evade the responsibility of having fathered a child, by parents seeking to avoid social stigma, by child abusers seeking to hide their crimes, and by sex traffickers seeking to eliminate the inconvenience of a pregnancy among their victims [2B].

“Abortion clinics cannot claim to be pro-woman while at the same time allowing the majority of their clients to be pressured into unwanted abortions [5B].”

-David Reardon, PhD

A 2023 peer reviewed study published in the Cureus Journal of Medicine found that nearly 70% of abortions in the United States were unwanted, coerced, and/or inconsistent with the mother’s values [2C][3][4].

That confirms earlier research which indicated over 60% of women who had abortions faced high levels of external pressure to end their pregnancies [5A].

Aftermath

These women afterwards experienced negative emotions, including feelings of loss, grief, and/or sadness about the abortion [5C].  Intrusive thoughts, including flashbacks to the abortion, interfered with their daily lives, work, and relationships [5D].

These findings run counter to the Turnaway Study which had reported a 99% post-abortion satisfaction rate by women, but had a low participation rate and relied on a single query [5E].  It, also, runs counter to the pro-abortion rallying cry “My Body, My Choice”. Continue reading →

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May 3, 2026 · 1:00 am

Retraumatization

Battling PTSD, Source https://flickr.com, Author US Marines (PD as work product of federal govt.)

Retraumatization is defined as re-experiencing a past traumatic event as if it were occurring in the present [1A].  Retraumatization calls up and heightens the emotions and sensations of the original trauma we experienced.  We once again feel powerless and under threat.

Sources of Retraumatization

The sources of retraumatization are innumerable, and as unique as the individual. 

Potential sources, however, can include:  stress; sights, sounds, or smells similar to the original traumatic event; song lyrics evocative of the original traumatic event; movies similar to the original traumatic event; news stories similar to the original traumatic event; illness or injury (with or without hospitalization); loss of a loved one, a pet, or a meaningful possession; dysfunctional relationships; and natural disasters [1B][2A].

Exposure to someone else’s trauma (whether a family member, friend, or public figure) can be likewise detrimental [2B].

Trauma-Informed Healthcare

It is imperative that healthcare professionals recognize trauma is not limited to physical injury from falls or gunshots [3A].  Negative experiences in childhood are highly prevalent.  These can include not only childhood abuse, but parental mental illness or imprisonment. Continue reading →

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