Category Archives: Violence Against Women

May 28, 2023 · 1:00 am

Continuing FLDS Tragedy

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/15/Ira_Eldredge_and_his_three_wives_circa_1864_%28restored%29.png

Retouched portrait of Mormon Bishop Ira Eldredge with his three wives (Nancy, Hannah, and Helvig), (c. 1864)

Public Domain as published before January 1, 1928

An offshoot of the infamous Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS) is carrying on the heinous practices of Warren Jeffs, though Jeffs has now been incarcerated for over a decade [1].

Samuel Bateman, 47 y.o., the leader of this polygamous Mormon sect, claims to be Warren’s legitimate successor and a “prophet” in his own right [2A].

Bateman is alleged to have taken 20 or more wives, some as young as 8 or 9 y.o.  He is said to have traveled through Utah, Arizona, Colorado, and Nebraska in order to have sex with underage girls.  As a result, Bateman is facing state and federal charges which include kidnapping and child abuse.

A total of eleven members of Bateman’s splinter group have now been charged with transporting children across state lines for purposes of sexual activity, recording that activity, destroying evidence, and witness tampering.

Mormon Polygamy Historically

Though it is today prohibited by the mainstream LDS, polygamy was among the original teachings of Mormonism, and practiced till 1890 [2B][3].  Doctrinally, polygamy was actually viewed by Mormons as being essential to Salvation, and more significant than baptism.

Downsides of Polygamy for Women

Polygamy — most recently pitched to the public under the seductive guise of polyamory — necessarily creates tensions and inequities, whether practiced by Mormons, Muslims, or others [4].  Women in such an arrangement do not have equal rights with their male partner.

Some “wives” will be favored over or replaced by others, causing harmful friction not only among these women, but their children.  Emotional abuse, depression, severe financial restrictions (even outright destitution), and ultimate abandonment are not uncommon [5A].

Polygamous relationships are, also, prone to domestic violence and/or sexual abuse, not to mention the negative impact they have on children [5B].

Continue reading →

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May 14, 2023 · 1:00 am

Troop 6000

File:Girl Scout cookies (Girl Scouts of the USA).jpg

Girl Scout Cookies, Author Photoguy439 (CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported)

New York City’s Girl Scout Troop 6000 has the unique mission of reaching out to girls experiencing homelessness or living in shelters for other reasons [1A].

Since its inception in 2017, Troop 6000 has raised over $1.6 million through the cookie sales for which the Girl Scouts are famous, and corporate matching donations.  These funds — which go toward trips, summer camp, and other adventures — have benefited some 2500 women and girls across 20 shelters throughout the New York City area.

This year, Troop 6000 was expanded to include the immigrants and asylum seekers at Emergency Response and Relief Centers.  Currently, there  are approximately 37,500 such migrants in the care of New York City’s Dept. of Homeless Services.

Troop 6000 is the brainchild of Giselle Burgess who was, herself, living in a shelter with her 5 children at the time.  Similar troops have now been started in Iowa, Tennessee, California, and Nevada.

“This population of young women has seen incredibly traumatic events.  And that is right at the core of what we need to do.  We need to take care of them and show them that they deserve the care.”

–Meridith Maskara, CEO of Girl Scouts of Greater New York [1B]

—

[1A and 1B]  CNN, “This New York Girl Scout troop is the first of its kind.  Here’s why” by Vanessa Yurkevich, 5/9/23, https://www.cnn.com/2023/05/09/business/girl-scouts-troop-6000/index.html.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT:  https://alawyersprayers.com

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April 9, 2023 · 1:00 am

“God Is Not Sick of Your Struggle” by Jennifer Arimborgo

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a7/Bernhard_Plockhorst_-_Good_Shephard.jpg/326px-Bernhard_Plockhorst_-_Good_Shephard.jpg

“Good Shepherd” by Bernhard Plockhorst (c. 1889), Source allposters.com, (PD-Art, PD-old-100)

As abuse survivors dealing with the scars of our experience, we tend to repeat certain mistakes and despise ourselves for that fact…as if will power alone could overcome trauma.

Often, we imagine that God despises us, as well.  God does not, however, view our efforts with contempt.  Far from it.

Author Jennifer Arimborgo who blogs at Feeding on Jesus https://feedingonjesus.com explores this topic in a post titled “God Is Not Sick of Your Struggle” (excerpted below).

Jennifer’s books are available at Amazon.com.

“…We sometimes live under the false impression that God is repelled by our imperfections and brokenness…Scripture teaches us that the opposite is true…His heart does not despise it when we lay bare our worst failures before Him.  He is not disgusted with us.  On the contrary, He gets stirred up with deep compassion and a desire to restore us to a place of wholeness.

After all, that’s what He gave His life for.  Our gentle Shepherd submitted Himself to torture to redeem us.  If He was willing to pour out his life unto death, what wouldn’t He do for us?…”

Continue reading →

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March 12, 2023 · 1:00 am

“What Is Toxic Shame?” by Ann Bale

While the following post by Ann Bale was directed to those harmed through a partner’s sexual addiction, it applies to all those suffering from toxic shame, therefore, all abuse victims.

Ann blogs at Don’t Lose Hope https://sexaddictionpartners.wordpress.com.

“…Toxic shame is the feeling that you’re worthless at your core – so you deserve to be rejected, mistreated and ignored, despised and punished by the people in your life. These are damaging, erroneous beliefs.

Shame develops in response to being abused and unloved, especially by the people who are close to you.

Toxic shame often takes the following forms:

1. Feeling bad (utterly shameful) about something terrible that was done to you.

2. Feeling bad (utterly shameful) about choices and actions that belong to someone else. Here, the shame is “guilt by association” – even where the choices and behaviours have nothing at all to do with you.

3. Feeling stigmatized, or experiencing some form of prejudice, where you feel judged and less than other people. Here, the shame generally relates to feelings of inadequacy related to something beyond your control.

4.  Experiencing shame in response to the way someone else sees and judges you.

5. Experiencing shame because you have different outlooks and values from someone else.

6. Feeling awful (and wrong) because you have set and/ or enforced appropriate and healthy boundaries – boundaries which another individual isn’t happy with (usually because they want to control you and the situation).

7. Feeling ashamed of having and expressing emotions, and especially intense and/ or negative emotions.

8. Feeling ashamed of having and expressing legitimate needs, and asking for those needs to be met.

How to Cope with Toxic Shame

Self-compassion is the key to getting free of toxic shame.  It is making the choice to show compassion to yourself in situations where you feel like a failure, or inadequate, or where you hurt, or are suffering, or are struggling, or weak. It is making every effort to be kind to yourself, and being gentle, understanding and patient with yourself.

Something to Think About

‘Having compassion starts and ends with having compassion for all those unwanted parts of ourself.’ – Pema Chodron

Could you start to show this compassion to yourself [1]?”

—
[1]  Don’t Lose Hope, “What Is Toxic Shame?” by Ann Bale, 3/4/23, https://sexaddictionpartners.wordpress.com/2023/03/04/what-is-toxic-shame/.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT:  https://alawyersprayers.com

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February 26, 2023 · 1:00 am

Recognizing Satan

File:Alexandre Cabanel - Fallen Angel.jpg

“Fallen Angel” by Alexandre Cabanel (1847), Musee Fabre, Montpellier, France (Accession No. 889.2.1), (CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication)

The Daily Beast recently published a lengthy article exploring whether fundamentalist preacher Kent Hovind enabled convicted pedophile Chris Jones and alleged pedophile Brady Byron, ostensibly in the belief they had “reformed” [1][2].

Since The Daily Beast is a proudly left-leaning paper, much is made of the fact Hovind operated a creationist theme park.  Presumably, this is intended as a swipe against Christians.  The article, however, remains deeply troubling.  At a minimum, the details reflect badly both on Hovind’s credibility and judgment.

Failure to Pay Income Tax

For those who may be unaware, Hovind was convicted in 2006 of failure to pay income tax, and ordered to pay $600,000 in restitution.

He was charged in 2015 with mail fraud [2].  Those charges were eventually withdrawn or dismissed.  Hovind was though found guilty of contempt of court.

Domestic Abuse

Even more significant, Hovind was found guilty in 2021 of domestic violence for “body slamming” his estranged wife.  Both Hovind’s ex-wives, Cindi Lincoln and Mary Tocco speak extensively on YouTube about their disturbing experiences with him [3]. Continue reading →

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October 23, 2022 · 1:00 am

Rest

There is much in the world to disturb us.  We can read and watch the news obsessively, can lose sleep focusing on the pain and sorrow.  In fact, with a history of abuse, we may be drawn to distressing subjects.

But our souls, also, need rest.  Rest and peace are necessary to our healing.  The God who made us knows this.  The Bible speaks of there being a time for all things (Eccl. 3: 1-8).

Our most profound rest is in Christ.  He is our defense against the world.

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matt. 11: 28).

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: http://www.alawyersprayers.com

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October 9, 2022 · 1:00 am

Mirrors

File:Mirror MET ES5394.jpg

18th Century German Mirror, Metropolitan Museum of Art (Accession No. 1990.329), Author/Source https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/207941 (CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication)

In this political season, there is a great deal of emphasis on image. Candidates craft their images with care, choosing just the right setting, just the right music, just the right wording for political ads, campaign photos, and sound bites.

These carefully crafted images are not necessarily a true reflection of the candidate’s character – more like a carnival house of mirrors, with everything distorted.

What about the images abuse victims have of themselves? How accurate are those?

One crucial distinction between the images politicians design for themselves, and those abuse victims carry over from childhood, is that victims do not get to choose their images. In large part, those are crafted by the adults around them.

However, when the mirror is cracked, twisted, and deformed, so is the image reflected in it. Continue reading →

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August 14, 2022 · 1:00 am

The Upper Hand – False Allegations of Abuse in Child Custody Cases

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/7c/Dependency_docket_bench_cards_for_juvenile_and_family_court_judges_and_magistrates._-_DPLA_-_e9eeb7b58aac3e0d3630ac5760aa3e99.jpg/360px-Dependency_docket_bench_cards_for_juvenile_and_family_court_judges_and_magistrates._-_DPLA_-_e9eeb7b58aac3e0d3630ac5760aa3e99.jpg

Dependency Docket Bench Card, Ohio State Supreme Court, Source Digital Public Library of America (https://dp.la/item/e9eeb7b58aac3e0d3630ac5760aa3e99) (PD)

You are a divorced mother of three, working part-time to make ends meet.  You have custody of the children your husband expressed no interest in, even before the marriage ended.  You receive no alimony and little child support since he, also, managed to hide assets at the time of the divorce. 

Your ex and his new wife now feel custody would be cheaper.  Their ploy for gaining custody is to accuse you of neglect.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  But you have to hire a lawyer to defend yourself, and wind up putting the $10,000 retainer on your credit card.

  • Although there are times divorce is the best option, divorced women are more likely than men to receive public assistance, live without health insurance, and have less earning potential [1A].
  • 29% of custodial mothers live in poverty, as compared with 16.7% of custodial fathers [1B].
  • Only 43.5% of custodial parents receive the full amount of child support [1C]. The aggregate amount of child support due in 2015 was $33.7 billion.
  • Children of divorced parents are 1.5 – 2 times more likely to end up living in poverty than children still living with both parents [2].

The lengths to which a good and loving parent may be forced to go, in order to defend against false allegations of abuse are troubling [3A].

A lack of financial resources will exacerbate such a situation.  An attorney is not likely to continue with representation in the absence of payment.  Necessary psychological evaluation of a child in such a case can cost money, as well.

Unfortunately, the better funded (and less scrupulous) parent often has the upper hand.  The falsely accused parent with fewer resources may find herself or himself attempting to prove a negative not only in a custody case, but a simultaneous Dept. of Human Services investigation and criminal action. Continue reading →

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August 7, 2022 · 1:00 am

Change Is Gonna Come

The performer of this Sam Cooke classic is 10 y.o. Jordan Hollins.

Known as the “King of Soul”, Cooke was born in Mississippi in 1931, and later moved to Chicago [1].  Like Jordan, Sam Cooke began singing as a young boy.  He went on to write hits like “You Send Me”, “Wonderful World”, “Chain Gang”, “Another Saturday Night”, and “Twistin’ the Night Away”.

Cooke’s music contributed to the careers of such greats as James Brown, Marvin Gaye, Otis Redding, Aretha Franklin, and Stevie Wonder.

Sam Cooke is, himself, a charter member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  He was, also, important to the civil rights movement.  “Change Is Gonna Come” became an anthem of the movement.

Cooke died at the age of 33 from a gunshot wound.  The circumstances of his death are disputed.  He was posthumously inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame, and National Rhythm and Blues Music Hall of Fame.

To achieve peace, we must fight for justice and work for change.

“But let justice run down like water, And righteousness like a mighty stream” (Amos 5: 24).

—

[1]  Wikipedia,”Sam Cooke”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Cooke.

WARNING:  Graphic Images

A 12 y.o. Alabama girl chewed through her restraints to escape captivity by Jose Pascual-Reyes, her mother’s boyfriend.  The 37 y.o. Pascual-Reyes had kept the girl intoxicated after killing and dismembering her mother and brother. 

See, https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/girl-chewed-restraints-bold-escape-week-captivity-alabama-rcna41351.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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July 31, 2022 · 1:00 am

Internet Safety Tips for Teens

File:Social media.jpg

Typical social media sites, Source Flickr, Author Automotive Social
(CC BY 2.0 Generic)

The following safety tips were supplied by a child advocacy center all too familiar with child abuse in its many forms.  Please, discuss them with the teens in your life.

Personal Safety 

Never share your personal information with others online unless you already know them offline, and they have good reason for needing to know.

Before sharing the following information with ANYONE, always check with a trusted adult first:  last name, address, phone number, date of birth, school name, social security number, passwords.

Social Media

Many social networking websites (e.g. Facebook/Meta, Twitter, and Instagram) have minimum age requirements for signing up.  These requirements are there to protect you!  Never accept a “friend request” from someone you do not already know offline.  Again, never share personal information with others. Continue reading →

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