Monthly Archives: September 2026

September 20, 2026 · 1:00 am

Gaming the System, Part 2

Broken Family, Image courtesy of Cap and Share https://capandshare.org

We continue our examination of the impact of government aid programs and fraud on the breakdown of the family.

Government Aid Programs and Taxes

There are sharp differences of opinion as to whether the tax system has become increasingly progressive or less so [1][2].  Certainly, the perceived burden of taxes on the working class has increased [3].  

At the same time, a growing number advocate for a “universal basic income” from the government, not recognizing that the government must be funded by some means [4][5][6].

Whatever the truth, without question fraud is driving up the cost of government aid programs [7].  Politicians are not likely to resolve the problem soon, since they carefully avoid sacred cows to assure that they, themselves, remain in office [8].

The Family, the Church, and Government

The Bible views the family, the church, and government as three distinct but interrelated spheres of influence [9]. 

God established the family as the first and basic unit of society (Gen. 2: 24) [10A].  The family is a model of God’s own love (Eph. 5: 25, 28, 33), designed to meet essential human needs (1 Tim. 5: 8) and raise children in His love, instruction, and discipline (Deut. 6: 6-7; Matt. 19: 14; Eph. 6: 1-4).

The church is the Body of Christ, a spiritual family and community of believers that transcends biological ties (1 Cor. 12: 27).  The role of the church is to provide moral guidance, fellowship, and service to others, equipping believers to live as God intended [11A].  

Government is the civil authority instituted by God to maintain order and justice [10B].  As reflected in the Preamble to the US Constitution, the role of government is to provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, collect taxes, enforce laws and judge evildoers, while protecting good conduct (Rom. 13: 1-7)[16]. 

Government cannot function well when – as today – there is serious disagreement about what constitutes the general welfare and good conduct; and many simply ignore what once were societal norms.

Clearly, government cannot substitute for the family, though we are trending in that direction [12][13][14].  When the family fails, the church, government, and society at large suffer [11B][15]. 

Those gaming the system are harming us all.

—

[1]  University of Chicago Law School, “How Progressive Is the US Tax System?” by Thomas Coleman and David Weisbach, 2023, https://chicagounbound.uchicago.edu/law_and_economics_wp/119/.

[2]  GovFacts, “The Tax Revolution that Created Today’s Inequality Crisis”, 6/24/25 (Updated 12/5/25), https://govfacts.org/long-term-challenges-future/economic-transformation/economic-inequality-trends/how-80-years-of-changing-us-tax-policy-have-reshaped-american-wealth/.

[3]  YouTube, “High Taxes Are Hitting the Working Class Harder than Ever”, https://www.bing.com/videos/riverview/relatedvideo?q=has+tax+burden+on+working+class+increased+in+uSA+during+past+25+years&mid=F7F839FA19D8863644DAF7F839FA19D8863644DA&churl=https%3a%2f%2fwww.youtube.com%2fchannel%2fUCmXyOLGT5U3XGc3txarblKA&FORM=VIRE.

[4]  Wikipedia, “Universal basic income”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_basic_income.

[5]  Income Movement, “Fighting for Basic Income”, https://www.incomemovement.org/about.

[6]  US Congress, “Universal Basic Income Proposals for the United States”, 4/3/18, https://www.congress.gov/crs_external_products/IF/PDF/IF10865/IF10865.3.pdf.

[7]  US Government Accountability Office (GAO), “Fraud and Improper Payments”, https://www.gao.gov/fraud-improper-payments#:~:text=In%20FY%202025%2C%2015%20federal%20agencies%20reported%20a,these%20improper%20payments%20were%20a%20result%20of%20overpayments.

[8]  Bryan E. Hall, “Sacred Cows —  Eleven Political Positions that Are Patently Wrong But Untouchable”, 3/15/26, https://bryanehall.substack.com/p/sacred-cows.

[9]  Think Institute, “Church, State, and Family:  A Biblical Framework” by Joseph Settecase,  https://thethink.institute/articles/church-state-and-family-a-biblical-framework.

[10A and 10B]  BibleHub, “Church and Family Dynamics”, https://biblehub.com/topical/c/church_and_family_dynamics.htm.

[11A and 11B]  Watermark Community Church, “Politically Correct:  The Roles of Family, Government, and the Church” by Campus Pastor Blake Holmes, 10/18/20, https://www.watermark.org/message/7810-politically-correct-the-roles-of-family-government-and-the-church.

[12] National Affairs, “The Future of Family Policy” by Abby McCloskey, Winter 2022, https://www.nationalaffairs.com/publications/detail/the-future-of-family-policy.

[13] National Affairs, “The Limits of Parents’ Rights” by Naomi Schaefer Riley, Summer 2024, https://www.nationalaffairs.com/publications/detail/the-limits-of-parents-rights.

[14] CalMatters, “A Trump order targets gender-affirming care for youth. California is suing to block it” by Ana Ibarra, 8/1/25, https://calmatters.org/health/2025/08/gender-affirming-care-lawsuit/.

[15] Cap and Share (CAS), “The Ripple Effect:  How Broken Families Affect Your Community” by Jonathan Anderson, 8/3/23, https://capandshare.org/broken-families-affect-community/.

[16] Constitution Annotated, “Preamble to US Constitution”, https://constitution.congress.gov/constitution/preamble/.

Part 1 in this series was posted 9/13/26.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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September 13, 2026 · 1:00 am

Gaming the System, Part 1

Creative Commons Licensed Clipboard Fraud Image, Source Picpedia.org, Authors Nick Youngson http://www.nyphotographic.com/ and Alpha Stock Images https://alphastockimages.com/, (Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported)

As we watch the family break down, government is both accelerating the process and attempting to take up the slack, albeit stumbling under the load [1][2].  On top of this, there are many whose aim in life is to “game the system” for their own benefit.  That has not helped.

The impact on children is particularly devastating.

Government Aid Programs

With charitable support by churches having weakened over the years, the need for government funding of poverty housing, nutritional assistance for the poor, and support for the disabled has increased [3][4][5].

  • Co-parenting – shared responsibility for childrearing by those no longer in a relationship – is a reality these days, as divorce rates attest [6].  Some 40% of first marriages end in divorce; 60% – 67% of second and third marriages end that way [7].  However, 2/3 of non-resident fathers avoid formal child support payments [8A].  Unpaid child support in the United States exceeds $32 billion [8B].
  • Illegitimacy rates (which plunge children into poverty) demonstrate that co-parenting would be a dream come true for many single parents abandoned by a partner [9][10].  By 2022, 52% of the children of single mothers were living below the poverty line. Welfare benefits and food stamps – the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) – are tremendously important.
  • Government benefits to physically or mentally disabled individuals can be a lifesaver. The caregivers paid by the government to regularly look after the sick, elderly, or disabled are a real blessing.

Fraud

Unfortunately, government programs meant to assist the needy cannot be effectively monitored, so fraud is easily missed [11].  There was, for instance, a massive Medicaid fraud exceeding $90 million recently uncovered in Minnesota [12].

Regrettably, there are those who see the government as an open cash register, readily susceptible to false claims:  claims that a relationship does not exist, even as children are brought into the world; claims of unemployment where employment “under the table” is ongoing, or income is derived by other illegal means; claims of disability where none exists; and claims of caregiving where none is rendered (or none needed at all) [13A].

Food stamps are traded by some for liquor, drugs, cigarettes or cash on the black market.  In 2019, there was an estimated $1 billion in such SNAP fraud [14].

In addition to this, scammers using skimming technology annually steal around $12 billion in food stamps from families [15]. 

Impact of Government Aid Programs on Marriage

“…If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat” (2 Thess. 3: 10).

“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Tim. 5: 8).

Despite the best of intentions, many aid programs have had the unintended consequence of undermining both the work ethic and marriage [16][17][18]. 

Why work and be required to pay taxes, if the government is willing to provide food and housing [13B][19]?  Why marry and be required to support children, if the government is willing to do that?  So goes the warped thinking of more than a few.

Of course, no amount of government aid can replace an absent father in the life of a child [20][21][22].

Weaponized Protective Orders  

Meanwhile, overburdened courts, now faced with an avalanche of requests for Protective Orders in custody cases, struggle to distinguish between true and false claims of abuse [23].

—

[1] GovFacts, “How Government Is Adapting to the Changing American Family”, 8/25/25, https://govfacts.org/long-term-challenges-future/social-cultural-futures/changing-family-structures/how-government-is-adapting-to-the-changing-american-family/.

[2] Michael Carbonara, “What is the current trend in the American family structure? A clear overview” by Michael Carbonara, 2/20/26, https://michaelcarbonara.com/the-american-family-today-trends/.

[3]  NRB, “New Surveys Find Charitable Giving In Decline”, 8/8/14, https://nrb.org/new-surveys-find-charitable-giving-in-decline/.

[4]  Lake Institute on Faith & Giving, “Giving USA 2025:  Trends in Religious Giving” by Erica Dollhopf PhD,  https://lakeinstitute.org/resource-library/insights/july-15-2025/.

[5]  Horizons Stewardship, “Giving USA 2024:  Disturbing Trends Giving Trends”,  https://blog.horizons.net/giving-usa-research-giving-trends.

[6]   Centers for Disease Control (CDC), “Marriage and Divorce”, 3/17/25, https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/marriage-divorce.htm.

[7]  Divorce Law, “US Divorce Rate Hits 50-Year Low:  Only 40% of First Marriages Now End in Divorce” by Antonio Jimenez, Esq., 4/4/26, https://divorce.law/guides/news/us-divorce-rate-hits-50-year-low-only-40-percent-first-marriages-end-divorce/.

[8A and 8B]  Rich Niches, “Deadbeat Dad Statistics:  Understanding the Impact on Families and Society in 2023” by Ryan Kangail and Rich Niches, 6/2/26, https://richniches.com/deadbeat-dads-statistics/.

[9]  Centers for Disease Control (CDC), “Unmarried Childbearing”, 6/10/26, https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/unmarried-childbearing.htm.

[10]  Worldmetrics, “Single Mother Poverty Statistics” by Kathryn Blake, 5/5/26, https://worldmetrics.org/single-mother-poverty-statistics/.

[11]  Connect US, “17 Huge Advantages and Disadvantages of Welfare”, 5/17/19, https://connectusfund.org/17-huge-advantages-and-disadvantages-of-welfare.

[12] US Dept. of Justice, Office of Public Affairs, “Minnesota Health Care Fraud Takedown Results in Charges Against 15 Defendants for $90M in Fraud”, 5/21/26, https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/minnesota-health-care-fraud-takedown-results-charges-against-15-defendants-over-90m-fraud#:~:text=The%20Justice%20Department%20today%20announced%20the%20Minnesota%20Health,and%20first-of-their%20kind%20charges%20involving%20additional%20Medicaid%20programs.

[13A and 13B]  Institute for Youth in Policy, “Cons: Welfare”, https://yipinstitute.org/article/cons-welfare.

[14]  Esquilo, “Who Buys Food Stamps for Cash:  The Truth Behind this Illicit Trade” by Stephen Adriano, 12/29/23, https://esquilo.io/food-stamps/who-buys-food-stamps-for-cash/.

[15]  Investigate TV, “Families suffer as $12 billion stolen from food assistance programs, USDA says” by Anastassia Olmos, 11/11/25, https://www.investigatetv.com/2025/11/11/families-suffer-12-billion-stolen-food-assistance-programs-usda-says/.

[16]  University of Maryland, School of Public Policy, Welfare Reform Academy, “Understanding the Rise in Illegitimacy” by Robert Rector, https://welfareacademy.umd.edu/conf/papers/rector_p.html.

[17]  US House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, “Congressional Testimony by Robert Rector – Understanding Marriage Penalties in Welfare and Their Impact on Society”, 2/11/25, https://oversight.house.gov/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Rector-Written-Testimony.pdf.

[18]  Brookings Institute, “Fragile Families, Welfare Reform, and Marriage” by Irwin Garfinkel, Ronald Mincy, and Sara McLanahan, 12/1/01, https://www.brookings.edu/articles/fragile-families-welfare-reform-and-marriage/.

[19]  Classroom/Synonym, “The Disadvantages of Social Welfare to Human Development” by Joel Garrison, 9/28/17, https://classroom.synonym.com/the-disadvantages-of-social-welfare-to-human-development-12084203.html.

[20]  The Parenting Pro, “Absent Fathers: How Fatherless Homes Affect Child Development” by Michael Bennett, 4/20/25, https://theparentingpro.com/effects-of-absent-fathers-on-child-development/.

[21]  NeuroLaunch, “Psychological Effects of Absent Parents:  Long-Term Impact on Children’s Well-Being”, 9/14/24 (Edited 7/3/26), https://neurolaunch.com/psychological-effects-of-absent-parents/.

[22]  Owlcation, “Echoes of Absence:  The Lasting Impact of A Missing Father”, 6/24/25, https://owlcation.com/social-sciences/psychological-effects-of-growing-up-without-a-father.

[23]  Attorney at Law Magazine, “The Silver Bullet Method:  The Rise of False Allegations in Divorce and Custody Cases” by Padideh Jafari, 3/3/25, https://attorneyatlawmagazine.com/legal/legal-trends/the-silver-bullet-method-the-rise-of-false-allegations-in-divorce-and-custody-cases.

This series will conclude next week.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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September 6, 2026 · 1:00 am

Unrequited

“Ich Liebe Dich (I Love You) – Broken Heart”, Source https://www.flickr.com/photos/donaldjudge/52226706001/, Author Donald Judge, (Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic)

You love someone desperately.  Being around the beloved is a joy, whether the interaction is romantic or not.  You live on hope that a relationship will develop.  Only the object of your affection does not return your love, and may not even be aware of it.

Unrequited love is the experience of strong romantic feelings that go unreciprocated [1A].  

This one-sided affection leads to intense sadness, feelings of rejection, and emotional exhaustion – not surprising, since the brain processes romantic rejection similarly to physical pain [2A].

Roots of Unrequited Love

The victims of childhood abuse or neglect may be particularly vulnerable to unrequited love [3A][4A].

Abuse (whether emotional, physical, or sexual) and neglect leave us with the haunting feeling that we are damaged and unworthy of love.  We idealize love, and are happy with the smallest crumbs of affection.

Attachment Styles

As a result, some of us develop an “avoidant” attachment style.  Unconsciously, we pursue emotionally distant partners. 

This allows us the illusion of a relationship with all its emotional highs and lows while, at the same time, preserving our control, letting us avoid vulnerability, and reinforcing our belief that we are unlovable [1B][3B]. 

In a genuine relationship, our flaws would be visible.  The prospect of that is too frightening.

Others develop an “anxious” or needy attachment style.  We may fixate on unavailable partners, but interpret unresponsiveness as a challenge to win affection [1C][3C][7].  We simply try harder. 

This keeps us attached to narcissists who dole out affection with an eye dropper [3D]. In fact, we seek out partners that make us feel needed (ignoring the red flags that should send us running for safety).

The approach can, also, undermine healthy relationships.  Any slight by a partner is immediately interpreted as a lack of concern or outright abandonment.  No reassurance is sufficient, and the relationship eventually fails.

Impact of Unrequited Love

Unreciprocated affection can lower our self-esteem, causing us to question our desirability and value [1D][4B].  We replay conversations and events endlessly, in the fruitless search for clues to securing the love we so desire [2B].

Over time, unrequited love can lead to negative self-talk, self-doubt, and even depression [5A].  It may, also, impede forming meaningful connections with available partners [6A].  We may not even recognize that they are there.

Link to Obsession

As mentioned, childhood abuse or neglect can manifest as the maladaptive attempt to regulate our fear of abandonment and sense of unworthiness by clinging to a disinterested romantic partner [7].  The degree to which we cling to the illusion of a relationship actually reflects the emptiness inside us.

Anger and resentment can, also, emerge when our admiration for the beloved is frustrated [2C].

This is the emotional turmoil that is obsession.

Healing from Unrequited Love

Recovering from unrequited love is definitely possible.  Distance from the beloved can be a major step in the direction of healing [3E][5B][6B].  This should be coupled with self-care, and supportive relationships.  Professional counseling can help us gain perspective.

Our challenge is to exchange idealization for a realistic understanding of love.  Neither we nor our partner will ever be perfect.  We do not have to be to deserve love.

—

[1A through 1D]  Science News Today, “Unrequited Love:  The Science, Psychology, and Human Experience of Loving Without Return”, 11/4/25, https://www.sciencenewstoday.org/unrequited-love-the-science-psychology-and-human-experience-of-loving-without-return.

[2A, 2B, and 2C]  PsyCix, “The Psychological Effects of Unrequited Love”, 11/24/25, https://www.psycix.com/article/the-psychological-effects-of-unrequited-love.

[3A through 3E]  PsychCentral, “How Childhood Emotional Neglect Impacts Adult Relationships and How to Heal” by Hope Gillette, 7/13/22, https://psychcentral.com/relationships/childhood-emotional-neglect-romantic-relationships.

[4A and 4B]  Brainz Magazine, “Why Childhood Sexual Abuse Could Be Affecting Your Love Life Now” by Sandra Cohen PhD, 2/19/25, https://www.brainzmagazine.com/post/why-childhood-sexual-abuse-could-be-affecting-your-love-life-now.

[5A and 5B]  Marriage, “7 Possible Effects of Unrequited Love & What You Can Do” by Dylan Banks, 3/25/26, https://www.marriage.com/advice/self-love/effects-of-unrequited-love/.

[6A and 6B]  Psychreg, “Unrequited Love Can Harm Your Mental Health But There Are Ways to Heal” by Dino Relojo, 11/7/25, https://www.psychreg.org/unrequited-love-can-harm-your-mental-health-but-there-are-ways-heal/.

[7]  Psychology Today, “How Childhood Neglect Can Turn Love into Obsession” by Annie Tanasugarn, 12/24/25, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-ptsd/202512/how-childhood-neglect-can-turn-love-into-obsession.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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