Tag Archives: drug addiction

Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, and Homelessness

Unknown homeless man, Author Magdalena Roeseler, (Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported)

We tend to shun the homeless. We may pity them, may even refer to them using the politically correct term “unhoused individuals” which supposedly preserves their dignity while doing nothing to improve their condition.

But we are likely to feel disgusted or threatened by them, at the same time.

Admittedly, a majority of the homeless do suffer from mental illness and/or addiction [1]. Yet research has consistently shown that there is strong correlation between childhood abuse and later homelessness [2].

And it should not be overlooked that approximately 1/3 of the homeless are families with children (85% of them single mothers) — some 259,473 men, women, and children among the estimated 770,00 homeless in the United States [7].

There is a link not just to child abuse, but to domestic violence here.  Over 92% of homeless mothers with children have experienced severe physical and/or sexual violence during their lifetimes [8].  Moreover, 38% of all domestic violence victims become homeless at some point in their lives [9].

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

The highly respected Adverse Childhood Experiences framework — widely used in public health, medicine, education, and social services — arose from a landmark study by the Centers for Disease Control and Kaiser Permanente in the 1990s [3A]. 

Over 17,000 participants were asked about adverse childhood experiences in three categories:  abuse (emotional, physical or sexual); neglect (emotional or physical); and household dysfunction (parental mental illness, parental substance abuse, domestic violence, parental separation or divorce, and parental incarceration).

Among the homeless, 89.8% reported having had 1 or more adverse childhood experiences, and 53.9% reported having had 4 or more [4A].  In the general population, 38-39% reported having had 1 adverse childhood experience, while 3-5% reported having had 4 or more [4B].

Impact of Childhood Trauma

Childhood trauma creates vulnerabilities that may compound with time [3B]:

  • Childhood trauma alters brain structure and function, making it more difficult to manage emotions, and reach sound decisions.  This has the potential to undermine stable housing and employment, as an adult.
  • Childhood trauma damages children’s trust and disrupts the support systems they need to thrive, interfering with their ability to form healthy relationships.  Chaos is normalized.  Self-sabotage becomes an unconscious life strategy. This can result in unstable adult relationships and attraction to abusive partners.  Social isolation can be a maladaptive means of self-protection, leading to avoidance of services like schools, job programs, or shelters that could be of help.
  • Childhood trauma increases the risk of mental illness which, also, has the potential to undermine stable housing and employment.  Those with over 4 adverse childhood experiences are at 4.6 times the risk of depression, and 12 times the risk of suicide, compared with the general population.
  • Childhood trauma greatly increases the risk of alcoholism and drug addiction.  Those with over 4 adverse childhood experience are at over 7 times the risk of alcoholism, and over 10 times the risk of intravenous drug use.  Self-medication becomes addiction.

Foster Care

Not only do the children placed in foster care all too often experience further trauma there, but aging out of foster care puts them at extraordinary risk of homelessness. They simply have no support system.  Between 20-25% of those aging out of foster care are homeless within 4 years; over 50% are homeless by age 26 [3C].

Runaways

This does not take into account the young people who run away from unsafe homes where violence or sexual abuse is ongoing daily [5A].  These become the children of the streets, the easy prey of pimps and sex traffickers [6].

The Root of Homelessness

Early intervention; trauma informed services at school; regular monitoring and support, if children are placed in foster care; provision for adequate housing in Safety/Treatment Plans when children are about to age out of foster care; and trauma-informed healthcare are key to addressing the problem of homelessness at its root [5B].

This is the responsibility of a civilized society. Of course, we may not qualify as that.

Is this not the fast I [your God] have chosen…To undo the heavy burdens, To let the oppressed go free…? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out; When you see the naked, that you cover him, And not hide yourself from your own flesh?” (Isa. 58: 6-7).

[1] Psychiatric News, “Most People Experiencing Homelessness Have Mental Health Disorders, Study Says”, https://alert.psychnews.org/2024/04/most-people-experiencing-homelessness.html.

[2]  Wikipedia, “Youth homelessness”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Youth_homelessness.

[3A, 3B, and 3C]  The Steady Ground, “Childhood Trauma and Adult Homelessness:  The ACEs Connection”, January 2025, https://thesteadyground.org/articles/childhood-trauma-homelessness.html.

[4A and 4B]  The Lancet, “Adverse childhood experiences and homelessness:  advance and aspirations” by Katherine Koh and Ann Montgomery,   https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpub/article/PIIS2468-2667%2821%2900210-3/fulltext.

[5A and 5B]  National Crimes Against Children Investigators Assoc. (NCACIA), “Nowhere to Go:  Understanding the Link Between Child Abuse and Homelessness”, https://www.ncacia.org/post/nowhere-to-go-understanding-the-link-between-child-abuse-and-homelessness.

[6]  2026 Calendar-Canada, “What’s the difference between a pimp and a trafficker?”, https://www.calendar-canada.ca/frequently-asked-questions/whats-the-difference-between-a-pimp-and-a-trafficker.

[7] Institute for Children, Poverty, & Homelessness, “The Hidden Homelessness: Families with Children in the US”, August 2025, https://www.icph.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/Family-Homelessness-101-National-WEB_8.21.25.pdf.

[8] Green Doors, “Family Homelessness Facts”, https://www.greendoors.org/facts/family-homelessness.php.

[9] American Bar Association, “Five Facts about Domestic and Sexual Violence and Homelessness”, https://www.americanbar.org/groups/domestic_violence/Initiatives/five-for-five/five-facts-homelessness/.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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Filed under Child Abuse, Child Molestation, domestic abuse, domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, Neglect, Physical Abuse, Prostitution, Rape, sex trafficking, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Violence Against Women

Toxic Inheritance

Photo by Luis Miguel Bugallo Sanchez (PD)

The opioid crisis has had a serious and lasting impact on our children.  That includes emotional trauma, disruption of family structure, and increased risk of substance abuse [1A][2A].  It is a toxic inheritance.

Emotional Trauma

Children often suffer grave neglect as the result of parental addiction.  Emotionally, they experience overwhelming anxiety, depression, and feelings of inadequacy.  Their lives are filled with uncertainty and fear.  This has ongoing ramifications for them [3A].

Family Disruption

“The opioid crisis significantly contributes to family instability.  As parents grapple with addiction, many lose custody of their children or become incapable of providing stable homes [1B].”

Between 2011 and 2021, some 321,566 children lost a parent to a drug overdose [2B].

Children will often wind up living with relatives or going into foster care as the result of ongoing parental addiction [4].  Addiction is particularly devastating in single parent households which are already vulnerable.

The economic burden of addiction destroys family finances.  Even if willing to assume custody, grandparents may have limited resources. and insufficient energy to raise young children.

Meanwhile, the foster care system is overburdened.  Caseworkers are overloaded, so screening and monitoring are inadequate, sometimes with tragic results.

Addiction Risk

Children of addicts are at higher risk of substance abuse, themselves, perpetuating the cycle of addiction [1C][3B].

Better Lives

Sadly, the opioid crisis is far from over [5].  Our children need more than this.

Policies aimed at strengthening families and providing resources for recovery are essential to breaking the cycle of addiction [1D][3C].

Programs which take a holistic approach, providing substance abuse treatment along with mental health support, can aid families in dealing with this challenging problem and enable children to have better lives [1E].

[1A through 1E]  Mothers Against Addiction, “Opioid Crisis Devastates Families While Hope Emerges”, 2/12/25, https://www.mothersagainstaddiction.org/opioid-crisis/.

[2A and 2B]  Sojourner House, “The Hidden Impact of the Opioid Crisis:  Children Left Behind”, https://www.sojournerhousepa.org/the-hidden-impact-of-the-opioid-crisis-children-left-behind/.

[3A, 3B, and 3C]  National Child Trauma Stress Network (NCTSN), “Child Trauma and Opioid Use:  Policy Implications”, https://www.nctsn.org/sites/default/files/resources/fact-sheet/child_trauma_and_opioid_use_policy_implications.pdf.

[4]  Annals of American Academy of Political and Social Science, “The Opioid Epidemic and Children’s Living Arrangements in the United States 2000-2018” by Monica Caudillo et al,  https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/00027162221142648.

[5]  Health Affairs, “Insights about the Opioid Crisis” by D. Metz et al, September 2025, https://www.healthaffairs.org/doi/10.1377/hlthaff.2025.01002.

A study of 600 teens found that those who perceived their parents distracted by cell phone use experienced reduced emotional connection, higher anxiety, and a more insecure attachment style.

For more information, see https://www.frontiersin.org/news/2026/06/18/teenagers-whose-parents-are-more-distracted-by-phones-are-more-insecure-frontiers-psychology.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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Pornography, Part 2 – Adult Film Stars

Adult Film Star Jaimee Foxworth, Source PacificProDigital, Author Glenn Francis, (CC BY-Sa 2.5 Generic, and 1.0 Generic)

What the true crime series Lethally Blonde so clearly illustrates is that the pornography industry destroys lives.  Promising fame and fortune, always on the lookout for fresh bodies to be exploited, the pornography industry eats people up then spits them out. 

The industry markets itself as a liberating way to express sexuality, the source of a glamorous lifestyle, a means of gaining attention, and a path to easy riches. In reality, the emotional toll of sex work — on screen or off — is devastating. Drug abuse and suicide are common.

Aubrey Gold

Lauren Kay Wambles a/k/a Aubrey Gold is an example of this [1][2][3].  The daughter of an exotic dancer, Gold was born in a small Bible Belt town in Alabama, but left home at age 18 to pursue a career in the adult film industry. 

After 2 years and over 30 films, she had earned a mere $50,000.  In 2020, she pleaded no contest to a charge of accessory after the fact to second degree murder, and was sentenced to 10 years.

Timothy Boham

Timothy Boham is another example [4].  Raised in an alcoholic household and bullied as a child, Boham initially found employment as a catalog model.  He then took up exotic dancing, in the hope this would lead to a film career. 

Boham, who viewed himself as heterosexual, moved from that into what is termed “gay for pay” — first providing homosexual sex to men who supported him financially, then homosexual sex on screen. He kept information about all this from his family of origin in Colorado.

When Boham attempted to seek employment outside the porn industry and start a family of his own, he was extorted by someone who knew about his double life.  That led to the murder for which Boham is serving a life sentence in a women’s prison, since he now considers himself a woman.

Jaimee Foxworth

Before her entry into adult films, Jaimee Foxworth was best known for her role as Judy Winslow on the ABC sitcom Family Matters [5].  Making pornographic films under the pseudonym “Crave”, Foxworth has battled substance abuse and depression.

Dan Benson

Chasing fame but unable to find work as an actor once he reached adulthood, former child star Dan Benson who played Zeke Beakerman on the Disney Channel’s Wizards of Waverly became an adult film star [6].  Like Courtney Clenney, Benson has an OnlyFans account with explicit sexual content.

Maitland Ward

Benson is not the only Disney star to have followed this course.  Maitland Ward, who played Rachel McGuire in the series Boy Meets World, claims to have gained respect, in the process of pursuing an adult film career [7]. 

If so, she is one of very few who can say that.  Many more fall prey to drugs, in an effort to cope with the emotions their work engenders [8A].  One psychoanalyst told the British media outlet UNILAD that almost 90% of women want to leave sex work, with up to 70% suffering from PTSD [8B].

[1]  The City Celeb, “Aubrey Gold Biography:  Controversy, Net Worth, Age, Movies, Wikipedia, Height, Boyfriend, Arrest, Instagram” by Haruna Ayuba, 5/28/26,   https://www.thecityceleb.com/biography/celebrity/actress/aubrey-gold-biography-controversy-net-worth-age-movies-wikipedia-height-boyfriend-arrest-instagram/.

[2]  Law & Crime, “Ex-Porn Star Gets 10 Years in Prison for Her Role in Murder of Alabama Man Shot in Head and Buried in ‘Shallow Grave’” by Jerry Lambe, 10/19/21, https://lawandcrime.com/crime/ex-porn-star-gets-10-years-in-prison-for-her-role-in-murder-of-alabama-man-shot-in-head-and-buried-in-shallow-grave/.

[3]  Podtail, Crime, Killers, Cults, and Beer, “114 Aubrey Gold:  Porn Star Involved with Murder + Discussion on the Porn Industry”, 6/13/24, https://podtail.com/podcast/crimes-killers-cults-and-beer-a-true-crime-podcast/114-aubrey-gold-porn-star-involved-with-murder-dis/.

[4]  Wikipedia, “Timothy J. Boham”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timothy_J._Boham.

[5]  Wikipedia, “Jaimee Foxworth”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaimee_Foxworth.

[6]  Entertainment News, “How Former Disney Star Fell into Porn”, https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity-life/how-former-disney-child-star-fell-into-porn/news-story/3b360f8fec4c5ee0f9e4b6ae86391536.

[7]  Style, “Former Disney star turned porn star says she’s more respected now”, 3/17/25, https://style.news.am/eng/news/106810/former-disney-star-turned-porn-star-says-shes-more-respected-now.html

[8A and 8B]  The Mirror, “Dark side of adult industry – ‘emotionally broken’ performer to ‘paralyzed’ star” by Liam Mcinerney, 2/15/25, https://www.themirror.com/entertainment/dark-side-adult-industry-emotionally-945510.

This series concludes next week with Part 3 – Pornography Addiction and Sexual Addiction

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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Wounds

Colored stipple etching of a forearm with three open wounds, WOUNDS by J. Stewart after J. Bell (c. 1826), Wellcome Collection (Library Reference ICV No 9908), Source/Photographer https://wellcomeimages.org/indexplus/obf_images/b3/e5/19f609d2570b60390b8f1a0e2f55.jpg, (Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International)

When sex is viewed merely as another human appetite – powerful perhaps, but devoid of emotional content; when it is shared with any number of casual strangers, rather than with the beloved in a lifelong committed relationship as intended by God, then it is devalued and we with it. 

Instead, a profound wound is created, a wound that reaches to the soul.

We may deny the existence of this wound.  Certainly, our culture does.  But the wound is a reality, nonetheless, a gaping void no substitute can fill. 

We may try to fill that void by increasing the number of our sexual partners, a fruitless exercise.  We may try to fill it with food, alcohol, or drugs in an effort to numb the pain.  The effort, itself, can become a compulsion.  But the wound remains. 

For the victims of abuse, sexual or otherwise, the very same wound is created.  We know at the deepest level that we were seen as worthless by the parents or guardians who should have loved us.  The grief and shame are overwhelming, and can last a lifetime.

Christ is familiar with wounds.  He, too, bore them.  Not due to His own fault, but for our sakes.  And He can heal them.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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Precious

File:SAKURAKO. (3710281438).jpg

Great grandmother and baby girl, Source Sakurako, Author MIKI Yoshihito (CC BY-SA 2.0 Generic)

A good-for-nothing man is an evil-doer; he goes on his way causing trouble with false words…” (Prov. 6: 12).

Baby girl, you are so precious.  You are so precious, you don’t even know.  Your Mama and I loved you from the moment she brought you into this world.  Even before that.  Your Daddy left early on, but we loved you just the same.

We rocked you, walked the floors with you when you were teething, saw you take your first step.  We cooked for you, we mended your clothes.  We saw you on the bus that first day of school.  You were so pretty, your hair all done up in ribbons.  Maybe you can’t remember, but I do.

You and I, we lost your Mama to hard work, then no work, then those devil drugs.  You must have asked me a million times where she was, on those nights she didn’t come home to us.  But she loved you.  She tried her best.  It just wasn’t enough in this cruel world.

Your Mama tried to help you with your lessons, in the beginning, taught you one and one makes two.  Do you remember that?  It was just that the lessons she had to learn were harder – lessons about hard men, and the hard road a woman faces alone.

Now you want to run after this man!  This good-for-nothing man?!  You think he’s going to give you something you don’t already have?  He doesn’t want to give.  All he wants to do is take from you.  Take your hips, take your fresh young face, take your smile.  But you believe his promises, promises as empty as noise.

Is it because your Daddy wasn’t there to tell you how special you are?  Is it because you didn’t see yourself in his eyes?  We tried, your Mama and I, tried to tell you that, tried to show you every which way we could.  Try and remember, baby girl. Continue reading

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Precious

A good-for-nothing man is an evil-doer; he goes on his way causing trouble with false words…” (Prov. 6: 12).

Baby girl, you are so precious.  You are so precious, you don’t even know.  Your Mama and I loved you from the moment she brought you into this world.  Even before that.  Your Daddy left early on, but we loved you just the same.

We rocked you, walked the floors with you when you were teething, saw you take your first step.  We cooked for you, we mended your clothes.  We saw you on the bus that first day of school.  You were so pretty, your hair all done up in ribbons.  Maybe you can’t remember, but I do.

You and I, we lost your Mama to hard work, then no work, then those devil drugs.  You must have asked me a million times where she was, on those nights she didn’t come home to us.  But she loved you.  She tried her best.  It just wasn’t enough in this cruel world.

Your Mama tried to help you with your lessons, in the beginning, taught you one and one makes two.  Do you remember that?  It was just that the lessons she had to learn were harder – lessons about hard men, and the hard road a woman faces alone.

Now you want to run after this man!  This good-for-nothing man?!  You think he’s going to give you something you don’t already have?  He doesn’t want to give.  All he wants to do is take from you.  Take your hips, take your fresh young face, take your smile.  But you believe his promises, promises as empty as noise.

Is it because your Daddy wasn’t there to tell you how special you are?  Is it because you didn’t see yourself in his eyes?  We tried, your Mama and I, tried to tell you that, tried to show you every which way we could.  Try and remember, baby girl. Continue reading

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In the Aftermath of Abuse, Part 2 – Guilt and Shame

‘If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in Me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea’ ” (Matt. 18: 6).

It is easier for children to believe they “deserve” the evil done to them, than to take in the fact an adult who should care for them actually has little or no regard for their well-being.

The Statute of Limitations and other obstacles can make it difficult to hold child abusers and molesters accountable legally.  Even with a conviction, however, the feeling of “sinfulness” may rebound from an abuser to his victims.

This in no way implies that they were at fault.  Victims, however, relive the trauma of having been treated as worthless. They are often left with a vague sense of unworthiness that can permeate their lives, and undermine subsequent relationships.

Though this feeling of their own “sinfulness” can be overwhelming to abuse victims, the conclusions they draw from it are not accurate.  Victims did not warrant or invite the abuse.  They remain deserving of love.

The feeling of “sinfulness” is just one of the scars left in the wake of abuse.  Other symptoms can include anxiety, depression, alcohol or drug addiction, eating disorders, and sexual dysfunction.  These behaviors either stem from the pain or are attempts to numb it.  All of them “punish” the victim, who was never at fault in the first place!

The symptoms of abuse may, themselves, become a cause of shame to victims.  Self-destructive behaviors shift the focus away from the abuse, while silently declaring it to the world.  Imperfect as coping mechanisms, these behaviors can have dire consequences but are, in effect, a cry for help.

Originally posted 7/7/13

Of NoteA Vatican tribunal has found Archbishop Anthony Apuron of Guam guilty of abusing minors and removed him from office.  Apuron was suspended in June 2016 following accusations that he sexually abused altar boys as a parish priest during the 1970s.

Thus far, the Archdiocese of Guam has been named in 159 sex abuse lawsuits involving Apuron and others.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT:  https://alawyersprayers.com

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Precious

“A Grandmother’s Love” (Courtesy of Women’s UN Reporting Network and USA National Resource Center on Domestic Violence)

A good-for-nothing man is an evil-doer; he goes on his way causing trouble with false words…” (Prov. 6: 12).

Baby girl, you are so precious.  You are so precious, you don’t even know.  Your Mama and I loved you from the moment she brought you into this world.  Even before that.  Your Daddy left early on, but we loved you just the same.

We rocked you, walked the floors with you when you were teething, saw you take your first step.  We cooked for you, we mended your clothes.  We saw you on the bus that first day of school.  You were so pretty, your hair all done up in ribbons.  Maybe you can’t remember, but I do.

You and I, we lost your Mama to hard work, then no work, then those devil drugs.  You must have asked me a million times where she was, on those nights she didn’t come home to us.  But she loved you.  She tried her best.  It just wasn’t enough in this cruel world.

Your Mama tried to help you with your lessons, in the beginning, taught you one and one makes two.  Do you remember that?  It was just that the lessons she had to learn were harder – lessons about hard men, and the hard road a woman faces alone.

Now you want to run after this man!  This good-for-nothing man?!  You think he’s going to give you something you don’t already have?  He doesn’t want to give.  All he wants to do is take from you.  Take your hips, take your fresh young face, take your smile.  But you believe his promises, promises as empty as noise.

Is it because your Daddy wasn’t there to tell you how special you are?  Is it because you didn’t see yourself in his eyes?  We tried, your Mama and I, tried to tell you that, tried to show you every which way we could.  Try and remember, baby girl. Continue reading

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Sparrows

WARNING:  Graphic Images

A 7 year old in Pennsylvania shared with her school bus driver that she had been unable to wake her parents [1].  Christopher Dilly and Jessica Lally were discovered to have overdosed.  The child’s younger siblings – ages 3 months, 3 and 5 years old – were found in the home.

Ashley Hutt and Mac Leroy McKiver, a pair of addicts in Washington, have been charged with repeatedly injecting their young children – ages 2, 4, and 6 years old – with street heroin to keep them quiet [2].  The children were living in squalid rat-infested conditions, their home littered with drug paraphernalia.

All seven children have been placed in protective custody.

Where was God in all this?  Could He not have intervened?  Such evil is staggering.  Confronted by it, we cannot help but cry out.

God is not immune to our pain.  Nor is He indifferent.  He suffered for us on the cross, and continues to suffer with us.  We are His children.  Would you not suffer for yours?  Surely, you feel their pain when a young wing is broken or a young dream falters.

This is a fallen world — home both to incalculable evil and amazing good.  We get to choose sides.  That privilege comes at great cost.  But those choosing evil should make no mistake.  God’s eye is on the sparrow…on all the defenseless little sparrows.  And there will be a reckoning.

” ‘Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins?  And not one of them is forgotten before God.  But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows‘ ” (Luke 12: 6-7).


[1]  Washington Post, “A 7-year-old told her bus driver she couldn’t wake her parents. Police found them dead at home.” by Cleve Wootson, 10/5/16, https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2016/10/05/a-7-year-old-told-her-bus-driver-she-couldnt-wake-her-parents-police-found-them-dead-at-home/?tid=a_inl.

[2]  Washington Post, “Parents injected children with heroin as ‘feel good medicine,’ police say” by Lindsey Bever, 11/1/16, https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2016/11/01/parents-injected-children-with-heroin-as-feel-good-medicine-police-say/.

Original version posted 10/27/13

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: http://www.alawyersprayers.com

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Filed under Child Abuse, Christianity, Community, Emotional Abuse, Justice, Law, Neglect, Physical Abuse, Religion

In the Aftermath of Abuse, Part 2 – Guilt and Shame

Sexually abused child (1910), Author Dr. P. Langenscheidt, Source “Der Sexualverbrecher” [“The Sexual Criminal”], (PD, published before 1/1/23)

‘If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in Me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea’ ” (Matt. 18: 6).

It is easier for children to believe they “deserve” the evil done to them, than to take in the fact an adult who should care for them actually has little or no regard for their well-being.

The Statute of Limitations and other obstacles can make it difficult to hold child abusers and molesters accountable legally.  Even with a conviction, however, the feeling of “sinfulness” may rebound from an abuser to his victims.

This in no way implies that they were at fault. Victims, however, relive the trauma of having been treated as worthless. They are often left with a vague sense of unworthiness that can permeate their lives, and undermine subsequent relationships.

Though this feeling of their own “sinfulness” can be overwhelming to abuse victims, the conclusions they draw from it are not accurate.  Victims did not warrant or invite the abuse.  They remain deserving of love.

The feeling of “sinfulness” is just one of the scars left in the wake of abuse.  Other symptoms can include anxiety, depression, alcohol or drug addiction, eating disorders, and sexual dysfunction.  These behaviors either stem from the pain or are attempts to numb it.  All of them “punish” the victim, who was never at fault in the first place!

The symptoms of abuse may, themselves, become a cause of shame to victims.  Self-destructive behaviors shift the focus away from the abuse, while silently declaring it to the world.  Imperfect as coping mechanisms, these behaviors can have dire consequences but are, in effect, a cry for help.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT:  https://alawyersprayers.com

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Filed under Child Abuse, Child Molestation, Emotional Abuse, Neglect, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse