Alternative Girls

Singer Melanie Martinez, Author DeShaun Craddock, Original Source flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0 Generic)

Definition: Alternative Girls – Girls with colored hair, tattoos and piercings [Surgical decoration of the body, esp. the ears, nostrils, eyebrows and navel; sometimes the tongue, nipples, or genitalia.  Considered attractive by some, disgusting by others].

They usually started out as a scene [good, amazing, fun, etc.], punk or goth chick in High School.

Melanie Martinez is an alternative girl singer.

– Urban Dictionary

There is a cultural phenomenon these days known as the “alternative” girl.  Alternative girls favor a lifestyle different from the norm [1].  They have a fashion sense, musical tastes, and opinions different from those of the population in general.

Whatever the origin of this phenomenon, it closely parallels the experience of many child abuse victims.

Desperate for love, we offer up to the world the worst possible aspects of ourselves in the forlorn hope of acceptance and redemption.

All too familiar with rejection, we hide behind greasy or strangely dyed hair, exaggerated make-up, piercings, tattoos, drab and baggy clothes.

Threatened by our own sexuality – a sexuality we may feel betrayed us – we sometimes adopt men’s garb.  We may struggle with weight issues, for the same reason.  This is self-mutilation both as punishment and self-defense.

The reverse may, also, be true.  We may adopt an overt, “in your face”, form of sexuality and the wardrobe to go with it.

This is not so much rebellion as vulnerability writ large, and an attempt to reclaim our sexuality.  It screams, “I have repeatedly been told I am ugly.  I know I am ugly.  Please, please, tell me that you can see I am beautiful.”

Tragically, the signals being sent are easily interpreted by those eager and willing to take advantage of such vulnerability.  Like hyenas, they are drawn to wounded prey.


For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Sam. 16: 7).

Real redemption is not to be found in the arms of lotharios or traffickers.  It is though available from Christ.  He looks beyond outward appearances to the heart.  He sees the vulnerable and frightened child behind the make-up and piercings.

And He extends His hand to her.

[1]  Odyssey, “10 Struggles That Every Alternative Girl Has Dealt With In Their Lifetime” by Riley Raymond, 6/12/17,

The unmarked graves of over 1000 indigenous children have been found at residential schools in Canada once operated by the Roman Catholic Church and various Protestant denominations.  The Canadian government acknowledges that physical and sexual abuse were common at such schools.




Filed under Child Abuse, Child Molestation, Christianity, Emotional Abuse, Neglect, Physical Abuse, Religion, sex trafficking, Sexual Abuse

20 responses to “Alternative Girls

  1. I have not heard the term before. Hopefully, it will not catch over here. The last thing we need are more labels.

  2. Allan Halton

    How many there are these days, in whom the image of God has become defaced beyond recognition. Oh that all such would take the risk of opening their hearts to that One whom to see is to be changed into the same image!

  3. Me encantó tu comentario más reciente: “Dios puede curar, incluso, las hermidas más profundas”. Es excelente y cierto

  4. Mary Sweeney

    “Real redemption is not to be found in the arms of lotharios or traffickers. It is though available from Christ. He looks beyond outward appearances to the heart. He sees the vulnerable and frightened child behind the make-up and piercings.
    And He extends His hand to her.”

    I love this, Anna! This is our Jesus’ love.

  5. Great post, Anna. I’m Scott, Joni’s husband. Hope you are having a blessed Sabbath, all things considered – you and your daughter are in our prayers. May God’s grace, peace and love be with you today and everyday. Love Joni and Scott ❤️

    Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.”
    ‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭1:3-7‬ ‭NIV‬‬

  6. Yes, only Jesus can heal the deep wounds and restore our vision and self-image – so we see ourselves as we are. Beautiful. Talented. Worthy of being valued, loved, prized and cherished. I only wish every person on this earth could see ourselves through his pure eyes, and believe this for ourselves.

  7. Very insightful post, Anna Ma’am.
    Thankyou for sharing.

  8. Sad that there are predators out there with these girls

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