Good Men

Despite what some women may have experienced, there are good men out there. The trick can be finding them. For that, we have to apply appropriate criteria [1] [2].

While this is not a dating guide, I offer you some of the Bible’s advice on the topic. The language may sound old fashioned, but the sentiments apply to our day.

A good man exemplifies integrity, both in his public and private life. This should be the standard women, also, demand of themselves.

If I have walked with falsehood, Or if my foot has hastened to deceit, Let me be weighed on honest scales, That God may know my integrity” (Job 31: 5-6).

A good man deals justly with others, whatever their status. 

If I have despised the cause of my male or female servant When they complained against me, What then shall I do when God rises up?…Did not He who made me in the womb make them? Did not the same One fashion us in the womb?…” (Job 31: 13-15, 21-22).

A good man sets godly priorities in his life, actively living out his faith. This means more than his just attending church on Sundays. It involves forgiving others; extending help to the needy; and trying to do right in all things. It does not involve a pompous or superior attitude.

If I have kept the poor from their desire, Or caused the eyes of the widow to fail…If I have raised my hand against the fatherless…Let my arm by torn from the socket…If I have made gold my hope…This also would be an iniquity deserving of judgment, For I would have denied God who is above. If I have rejoiced at the destruction of him who hated me…If my land cries out against me, And its furrows weep together; If I have eaten its fruit without money…Then let thistles grow instead of wheat…” (Job 31: 16, 21-22, 24, 28-29, 38-40).

A good man does not view fidelity as an imposition. Moses was faithful in the face of opposition; Ruth was faithful in the face of loss. God, Himself, is described in the Bible as faithful (1 Cor. 1: 9). In fact, faithfulness and self-control are considered fruits of the Holy Spirit.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love…kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires” (Gal. 5: 22-24).

As these biblical standards make clear, character is a great deal more important than, say, looks. Sadly, both men and women can be deceptive…which is why we need to pay special attention before our hormones kick in.

By the way, there are biblical standards for women, as well.  I plan to address those in another post.  Stay tuned!

[1] Young women may worry about losing a relationship, if they ask “too much” of a man. Ironically, the women who use men only for purposes of material gain never seem to give this issue much thought.  Kindness, in any case, is not too much to ask.
[2] Women who have been abused may be fearful of beginning a new relationship. A high degree of caution is both wise and natural, in view of what these women have endured.


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Filed under Christianity, Religion, Violence Against Women

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