Read the blogs of child abuse victims and those concerned for them. Somewhere along the line, you will find mention of what the abuse damaged or destroyed outright.
Our innocence. Our childhood. Our peace of mind. Our self-confidence. Our self-esteem. Our ability to trust. Our capacity to select loving partners, and sustain healthy relationships. Our faith. Our voice.
And from far too many, the abuse took their very lives.
For many of us, what the abuse left behind was isolation, grief, anxiety, depression, rage, and a permanent sense of violation.
Unfortunately, that we will never be the women (or men) we might have been is not helpful information. We are who we are…marked by these scars.
In some sense, the scars are our badges – if not of honor exactly, then certainly not of shame. We were the ones sinned against, not the ones sinning, no matter how we were made to feel about the torture inflicted upon us.
As with the veteran who has lost a limb to war or the woman who has lost a breast to cancer, this is simply our reality now. Continue reading