Image courtesy of UK Says No More https://uksaysnomore.org/domestic-abuse-and-the-lgbt-community/leeway-lgbt-blog/.
In 2010, Annamarie Cochran was killed by her domestic partner, Cara Rintala [1][2]. Cochran was strangled, beaten, thrown downstairs, and covered in paint to destroy evidence.
The Massachusetts couple (both EMTs) evidently had disputes over money and infidelity. Despite a tumultuous relationship, they continued to live together until the murder.
Rintala was convicted in 2016 after two mistrials. She was sentenced to life imprisonment without parole. In 2019, Rintala’s request for a new trial was denied [3].
Domestic violence within the LGBTQ community is not often addressed.
Prevalence rates are difficult to come by, since heterosexual women are primarily targeted for intimate partner violence screening and intervention [4]. However, LGBTQ rates are believed to be slightly higher than those among heterosexual couples [5].
Best information is, as follows [6]:
- 43.8% of lesbians and 61.1% of bisexual women have experienced rape, violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner, in comparison with 35% of heterosexual women.
- 26% of gay men and 37.3% of bisexual men have experienced rape, violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner, in comparison with 29% of heterosexual men.
- only 1 in 4 men in same-sex relationships call police after experiencing near fatal violence.
Researchers attribute these differences to the societal pressures on same-sex couples, a higher risk of prior traumatic experiences on the part of LGBTQ community members, and their difficulty in accessing services.
Biblical View
While the Bible does not condone same-sex relationships (Lev. 18: 22, 20: 13; Rom. 1: 26-27; 1 Cor. 6: 9-10; 1 Tim. 1:10), neither does it condone violence against those who consider themselves members of the LGBTQ community.
The biblical admonition is that Christians walk in love (Eph. 5: 2).
Wives are to submit to their husbands as to the Lord, and husbands love their wives as Christ loves the church (Eph. 5: 22-29). This presupposes marriage between a man and a woman. It does not, however, require that anyone submit to abuse.
What is clear from these statistics is that, regardless of sexual orientation, human beings cry out for grace. The human heart is corrupt (Jer. 17: 9). We are all sinners in need of a Savior in the Person of Jesus Christ (Eph. 2: 1-7).
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[1] The Mirror, “‘Passionate’ paramedic strangled, thrown downstairs and covered in paint by her wife” by Gail Shortland, 2/5/17, https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/passionate-paramedic-strangled-thrown-downstairs-9739146.
[2] The Gazette, “The Annamarie Cochran Rintala many people did not know” by Michael Majchrowicz, 10/12/16, https://www.gazettenet.com/The-Annamarie-Cochrane-Rintala-you-never-knew-5341770.
[3] Mass Live, “Cara Rintala, convicted in 2010 killing wife in Granby, denied appeal for new trial” by Jeanette DeForge, 12/16/19, https://www.masslive.com/news/2019/12/cara-rintala-convicted-in-2010-killing-wife-in-granby-denied-appeal-for-new-trial.html.
[4] Springer Link, “Addressing Intimate Partner Violence in Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay, and Transgender Patients” by Kevin Ard and Harvey Makadon, Journal of Internal Medicine, 2011, https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs11606-011-1697-6.
[5] Taylor & Francis Online, “Same-Sex Domestic Violence: Prevalence, Unique Aspects, and Clinical Implications” by Colleen Stiles-Shields and Richard Carroll, Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 10/10/14, https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0092623X.2014.958792.
[6] National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), “Domestic Violence and the LGBTQ Community”, 6/6/18, https://ncadv.org/blog/posts/domestic-violence-and-the-lgbtq-community.
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ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse 
A very good post Anna, that brings to light something that many of us in the law enforcement community have known but that had not been brought to the general public. If there are men who abuse their wives, there will be such abusers in the LGTB community as well. They are no different. Cheers and all the best.
I always appreciate your input, Francisco. Wishing you all God’s best, A.
Thank you Anna, God’s blessings to you too.
My daughter spent a couple years on the staff of a (secular) domestic violence shelter in Seattle. She related to me that the majority of the women seeking protection in the location where she was employed were fleeing the violence of their same sex partners.
Such violence is always an evil, no matter what sort of relationship people are in. And, as you so wisely say, we are all sinners in need of God’s grace.
Thank you for sharing this.
Violence against a partner or spouse is never OK, whatever our sexual orientation. It is completely at odds with Christ’s commandment to love others as we love ourselves.
You are so right.
“The biblical admonition is that Christians walk in love (Eph. 5: 2).”
I fully agree with you on this, Anna. We may not condone these relationships, but we must abide in God’s love for them– for whom Christ died as well as for you and me.
Thank you for your input, Allan.
It is good that you point out such topics, very few people know about them. a very good contribution, as always, dear friend. I wish you all the best, Marie
Thank you so much, dear friend. ❤
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