“Letter to My 14 Year Old Self” by Marie Williams

My dear friend, Marie Williams, went home to be with the Lord on Easter Sunday 4/21/19.  She died of cancer.

Marie Williams was an incest survivor.  Despite a brutal childhood, Marie had a generous and loving heart, enormous faith, and a great sense of humor.  She raised a daughter, Melanie, who was the center of her life.

Many of you know Marie’s sensitive poetry from her blogs Come Fly with Me https://mariewilliams53.wordpress.com/ and Blow Me Out of the Water https://riceandpease.wordpress.com/2018/02/01/running-away/?c=159#comment-159  .  Below is one of her posts.

Marie will be greatly missed, but she remains an inspiration.

Dear Marie

Yes, you, come on now, try not to let things get you down too much. I promise life will get better. I know that you’ve had it really rough and I know that you wish your first suicide attempt at age 11 had worked, but it didn’t and that’s because you are here for a reason. I know that you can’t see that now, because all around you is chaos, but you are a divine spirit and you need to know that.

Try not to internalize the pain. I know that you feel that you have no-one to confide in, but you do. Speak to your grandfather. I know he is no longer here. I know he died in 1959, but his spirit is with you. Speak your pain and he will hear and he will try to smooth the path for you and make life a little easier. I know you’re thinking, “rubbish!” But seriously, he came to help you that painful night when you were 11. It was him you saw, when he hovered over you. It was not a figment of your imagination. He came to make sure those pills did not work.

You’re destined for great things Marie. Look at Oprah Winfrey, Maya Angelou – they suffered too but look how they have turned their lives around. They have have used their abusive pasts to build a solid framework in which to change their lives for the better. OK, so you’re never going to be Oprah or Maya with their very public profile, but you will be Marie blogging on WordPress, “sharing, hoping to inspire and motivate” others.

I know you think I’m crazy, and that this will never happen. Yes at 14, with a mother who clearly finds you an irritation and a father who gets a kick out of battering you, sending you to school with bruises on your face and body, with the explanation “If they ask you what has happened to you, tell them that you fell over some wire in the backyard”, makes the above paragraph seem like the ramblings of a mad woman, but honestly, you will survive.

People that you don’t know now, will be reading your poetry and will write to you telling you how much they love what you have written. People all over the world in France, Austria, USA, Australia will be commenting on your poetry.

There will be something called the Internet which will allow you to connect with others in a way that you can’t now. The world will be a smaller place in terms of contact and there will be vast opportunities for you to grasp and take advantage of.

I love you Marie and I want to take care of you in the only way I can. This is why I am writing to you, aged 14. I want to give you hope. I want to let you know that I am there for you.

Yours sincerely

(A much older) Marie xx

Originally posted 11/8/15



Filed under Child Abuse, Child Molestation, Emotional Abuse, Neglect, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse

28 responses to ““Letter to My 14 Year Old Self” by Marie Williams

  1. I’m so sorry for your loss, Anna.

  2. My condolences for your loss. Beautiful words of encouragement for those who experience any kind of abuse and trauma, there is hope out there and the internet has made it a smaller place. They are words so many are looking for a piece of hope someone they knew and could trust to help them from the Heavens.

  3. Amen ! Amen! She will be in paradise and God will pour all his love on her .

  4. incarceratedshadows

    Another beautiful person has gone to join our Lord.
    My sincere condolences Anna.

  5. What a beautiful soul, and now she is healed, whole.

  6. I did not know Marie had cancer.. She was an emotional writer..
    I can picture her in paradise with her Lord and savior.. No more sorrow no more pain.. just peace that surpasses all understanding.. She will be missed for a time. I pray that the Lord will comfort you and her family.

  7. Ohhh Anna ❤ Sad to think she's no longer with us. Yet comforting to know Marie has made it home where we'll see her again, one day! 😇🙏🎶✝️💜 Jackie@KWH

  8. Deeply sorry for your loss, Anna. Blessings.

  9. My Condolences to You on the loss of Your Dear and Brave Friend, my Dear Anna. Surprising, that even Horror stories like these (If anyone asks, tell them You fell over a wire), – give us points to live by.

    And what a Great thing Hope is. Frankly, it took me Decades to understand God’s this Excellent Gift.

    In our area, I am finding out that Sexual abuse is Prevalent, carried on very often by the Uncles, Cousins, and Particularly Grandfathers(!).

    There is Also Another kind of Abuse. Making a Veritable Servant of the Girl children, which really puts them down and makes them suffer very much indeed. Even when they have come of Marriageable age! And again, the male members are the culprits. The brother makes his sister work; the father supports the son, and the mother is complacent by her silence.

    Let us keep Hoping in the Lord. Love and Regards. 🙂

    • Thank you for your kindness, Swami. Yes, abuse takes many forms. We must continue to combat it, while we have breath. My great consolation, however, is that in the next world justice will be done. “So the last will be first, and the first last.” (Matt. 20: 16).

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