“Litigatio Christi cum Belial” by Jacobus de Theram (1461), Bavarian State Library (PD)

My demons and I are well acquainted with one another.  We have grappled together for over half a century now.  Some days I tell myself I have won a battle.  But another always looms.  And my losses have gradually taken their toll.

There are many times I have hated myself for failing yet again – for the very fact the scars of my abuse remain.  Those are the most dangerous times, the dark mouth of hell yawning before me.

The temptation to give up, give in, can be inviting.  But a light of hope continues to shine, constant if at times faint.  It is the promise of Salvation.

We all have demons.  Some of us drown our sorrows; some eat our loneliness or wrestle with other addictions that temporarily numb our pain; some simply despair.

That abuse victims have these sorrows, this loneliness, this pain – these physical, emotional, and spiritual scars in all their varied forms – is not a shameful thing.  It is our struggle against them that matters.

I am likely to take my scars to the grave.  But I know that is not the end for me.

There is a light shining from beyond the grave, a hope greater than my failures or my pain.  That hope is Christ, the Light of the World.  When my time at last comes, He will welcome me home.

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 8: 38-39).



Filed under Child Abuse, Child Molestation, Christianity, domestic abuse, domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, Neglect, Physical Abuse, Religion, Sexual Abuse

16 responses to “Demons

  1. Demons those which become attached by associating with evil people they often jump ship and do so to push the buttons of guilt and shame which was the perpetrators fault they spread their evil energy or demons like poop.

    Then there the self-inflicted demons which come with over thinking or traumatising the pain and they again push buttons or triggers to relive the story. Working through pain is not easy you get so far and then something else raises its ugly head.

    Once you start cleansing it seems to be continuous as every single issue comes to the surface.

    You have to be brave, strong, resilient, and prepared to look at yourself.


  2. Well written Anna..
    We are blessed that we have the Balm Of Gilead for our battle scars.

  3. One of God’s treasures given to us Anna is a little thing called hope. I marvel that at times this hope appears to nearly consume me, while at other times it is the faintest of lights, leaving me to wonder if hope has passed me by.

    Nevertheless, God is faithful and he who has started a good work in us will see it through to the end. The end of our hope is our salvation, and I am trusting in the promise of a place reserved for all of us who love Him. I am convinced that one day you and I will know the boundless joy and endless freedoms of having no recollection of past hurts. What a day that will be!

    Thinking of things from a different perspective, I’m sure Satan never dreamed that he would find in you such a warrior spirit. What he meant for evil and destruction God has used to encourage so many. Never forget my dear friend that in your darkest hours, you are not alone. You cannot fall far enough that God cannot catch you. His love, mercy, and grace are inescapable and we are never far from our Father’s heart.

    Be strong in the power of His might, for he has promised that he will never leave you or forsake you.

  4. Wonderful post, Anna. Yes, we all battle demons.

  5. Ditto to Ron Whited’s comment, Anna ❤ Thankfully, this world's demons cannot stand against our Heavenly Father! 🤗✝️🙏💜 Jackie@KWH

  6. What a majestic ending to the preceding description of the dark and sad realities of life. And if all of these endless travails and struggles were for nothing, then woe be us all. But the love of God is the light that shines hope in our hearts.

    Thank you, Anna for this wonderful post. Love and blessings.

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