WARNING: Graphic Images
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new” (2 Cor. 5: 17).
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Poster for film Butterfield 8 starring Elizabeth Taylor, Source http://www.movieposter.com (PD copyright not renewed)
“Do not let your adornment be merely outward – arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel – rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God” (1 Pet. 3: 3-4).
Body image is a complicated issue for child abuse victims.
Disregard for and “separation” from the body is not uncommon among victims. This is symptomatic of grief and an attempt to distance oneself from the violation. It may be coupled with the inability to have sex, an attempt to restore innocence and avoid further violation.
The world’s superficial values regarding beauty can reinforce the poor body image from which abuse victims frequently suffer. Damaged – in our own eyes at least – we often doubt ourselves to be deserving of love, sometimes living out a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The alternate approach is sexual promiscuity, an attempt to regain sovereignty over one’s body and a desperate plea for love. Elizabeth Taylor delivered a powerful performance illustrating this approach in the movie Butterfield 8. A large number of women in the sex trade were, in fact, victimized as children.
God’s love does not require that we somehow reinstate stolen innocence. His love is freely given to all who will invite Him into their hearts – no adornment necessary.
Originally posted 1/17/14
FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com
Walt Whitman, c. 1860, Author Matthew Brady, Source Library of Congress (PD-Age)
“The man’s body is sacred and the woman’s body is sacred, No matter who it is, it is sacred…”
– Walt Whitman, “I Sing the Body Electric”
The great American poet, Walt Whitman, was roundly criticized for publishing those words. Whitman’s landmark Leaves of Grass, the book containing “I Sing the Body Electric”, was initially ignored by the public then viewed as controversial. The poem – dealing as it does with the human body – was labeled obscene [1].
Whitman celebrates the body, in all its physicality – the stomach, the lungs, the bones and marrow, the heart, the bowels, and the rest. The poet speaks of apprentices, laborers, farmers, firemen…even slaves. He praises infants, girls and boys, mothers and fathers, daughters and sons.
What Whitman concludes is that the body is an expression of the soul. “And if the body were not the soul, what is the soul?” he asks.
The question is worth considering.
A Temptation to Sin
“You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.”
– Gnostic heresy [2]
Christians often view the body as a temptation to sin and nothing more. In this view, the body is a sort of overcoat to be used, beaten into submission, then discarded.
Abuse victims understand that outlook far too well. Often, we despise our bodies. In an effort to distance ourselves from the abuse, we distance ourselves emotionally from the flesh which was subjected to such pain and humiliation.
Emotional distance becomes our refuge. We hide our bodies in drab and shapeless clothing; disguise them in layers of fat; or cut them as punishment for the unforgivable crime of serving as targets for our abuse.
Abuse and Sexuality
Because of that alienation, it can be extremely difficult for child abuse victims to reconnect to their sexuality, as adults. Some of us never do. We carry that secret shame as long as we live – a “defect” for which we feel somehow responsible, though it is as much a scar of our abuse as any other. Continue reading
Filed under Child Abuse, Christianity, Emotional Abuse, Neglect, Physical Abuse, Prostitution, Religion, Sexual Abuse
Though women are encouraged to be sexually active in our culture, they are not always treated kindly when they take that advice.
Mattress
A sexually available girl who has many partners.
Mattress Back
A girl who has sex so often, whether with the same partner (nympho) or many different ones (slut), that her back seems to be constantly on a mattress.
-Urban Dictionary
Child victims of sexual abuse must negotiate this terrain with care. The emotional scars they carry do not make that an easy task.
Some women abused in childhood will seek as adults to reclaim their bodies by initiating frequent, anonymous sex. For them, sex is an attempt at self-affirmation. But no amount of it will fill the void left behind by abuse [1].
Tragically, a great many prostitutes fall into this category [2]. Drug use to dull the pain is common in the sex trade [3].
Other women will engage in sex (often with many partners) in a desperate search for love. These are the girls passed from boy to boy in high school; the women who settle for one night stands, since nothing else is being offered. Continue reading
Locket, Author Sterilgutassistentin (CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported)
“Do not let your adornment be merely outward – arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel – rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God” (1 Pet. 3: 3-4).
Body image is a complicated issue for child abuse victims.
Disregard for and “separation” from the body is not uncommon among victims. This is symptomatic of grief and an attempt to distance oneself from the violation. It may be coupled with the inability to have sex, an attempt to restore innocence and avoid further violation.
The world’s superficial values regarding beauty can reinforce the poor body image from which abuse victims frequently suffer. Damaged – in our own eyes at least – we often doubt ourselves to be deserving of love, sometimes living out a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The alternate approach is sexual promiscuity, an attempt to regain sovereignty over one’s body and a desperate plea for love. Elizabeth Taylor delivered a powerful performance illustrating this approach in the movie Butterfield 8. A large number of women in the sex trade were, in fact, victimized as children.
God’s love does not require that we somehow reinstate stolen innocence. His love is freely given to all who will invite Him into their hearts – no adornment necessary.
FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com
ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse 