Category Archives: Violence Against Women

August 17, 2025 · 1:00 am

Rom-Coms

“In Rapture” by Franciszek Zmurko (c. 1900), National Museum in Warsaw (Accession No. MP 3946), Source/Author cyfrowe.mnw.art.pl/pl/zbiory/453259, (PD)

“Rose Castorini:  Listen, Johnny.  There’s a question I want to ask.  I want you to tell me the truth, if you can.  Why do men chase women?

Johnny Cammareri:  Well, there’s the Bible story.  God.  God took a rib from Adam and made Eve.  Now, maybe men chase women because they want the rib back.  When God took the rib, He left a big hole there, a place where there used to be something.  And the women have that.  Now maybe, just maybe, a man isn’t complete as a man without a woman.”

—Moonstruck

Many of us enjoy romantic comedies or rom-coms as they are called.  Moonstruck happens to be a favorite of mine.  Boy meets girl.  Boy loses girl.  Boy gets girl.  And they both live happily ever after.

Trite as many rom-com plots are, they contain a kernel of truth about the importance and the power of love.  At some level we all recognize that.  It is the reason we find the boy’s pursuit of the girl engaging.

Sadly, as survivors of childhood abuse, we may settle for unresponsive partners or avoid relationships entirely.  We may not, therefore, have known the sweetness of courtship.  Or perhaps courtship was followed by the horrors of domestic violence. 

How much more meaningful then is God’s pursuit of us?  That pursuit began in the Garden, when sin first separated man from God.

“Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, ‘Where are you?’” (Gen. 3: 9).

Continue reading →

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August 3, 2025 · 1:00 am

Nudify Apps and the Road to Destruction

Actress/Director Scarlett Johansson, Source https://www.flickr.com/photos/15512543@N04/2185543324/, Author John Harrison at https://www.flickr.com/photos/15512543@N04/, Permission Creative Commons Attribution Sharealike (CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported)

A new word has entered our vocabulary.  To “nudify” is to use Artificial Intelligence (AI) to create deepfake images which appear to show the individuals depicted as naked [1]. Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson have been among those famously victimized.

Thousands of nudify apps exist to accomplish this, and have rapidly gained popularity [2][3].  Many work only on images of women.  And, as might be expected, many use social media for marketing purposes.

Thus far, victims have typically been school girls who posted innocent photos of themselves online [4].  However, anyone of any age can use these apps to convert harmless online images into what appear to be embarrassing photos and videos of children, teens, teachers, parents, police officers, pastors, or others in the nude. 

Once the nude images have been created, they can circulate on all the digital platforms commonly used for messaging today. 

Impact

Such images are often used as revenge porn with a deliberate intent of humiliating and degrading the individual pictured.  Whatever the intent, the impact on victims is overwhelmingly negative.  Not only embarrassment, but anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation can result. Continue reading →

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July 27, 2025 · 1:00 am

Invisible Wounds – Emotional Abuse

Mimi & Eunice Cartoon:  “Posture”, Source https://mimiandeunice.com/2011/10/20/posture/, Author Nina Paley, (CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported)

“Ugh.  I hate the sight of your ugly face.”

“I wish I’d never had you.  I should have gotten an abortion.”

“You’re useless.  You’ll never amount to anything.”

“How can you be so stupid?  No wonder you have no friends.”

“Now, look what you made me do.  It’s all your fault.”

“No one could love you.  No one ever will.”

Emotional abuse leaves no visible scars.  But the wounds go deep.  We may as well have scalding water dumped over us.

Emotional abuse is often mischaracterized as a less damaging form of child abuse.  To the contrary, the American Academy of Pediatrics calls it, “the most challenging and prevalent form of child abuse and neglect” [1A]. 

Such abuse can carry over into adult relationships [2].  We settle for what we think we deserve.  There is, therefore, a clear link to domestic abuse [3].

Emotional abuse of children may be accompanied by physical neglect, physical abuse, or sexual abuse. 

However, there is credible evidence that the victims of emotional abuse and emotional neglect exhibit equal or worse immediate and long-term effects than the survivors of other forms of maltreatment and violence [1B].

Types of Emotional Abuse

A. Cruelty

Emotional abuse can involve name calling; constant criticism; negative remarks about a child’s (or later an adult partner’s) appearance, intellect, abilities, hopes, and dreams; cruel jokes at a child’s (or later an adult partner’s) expense; deliberate humiliation; and threats of violence or abandonment [4A]. 

A parent may permanently damage a child’s self-esteem simply by withholding all kind and encouraging remarks [4B].

B. Manipulation

There are other varieties of emotional abuse, no less harmful to a child.  These can range from manipulating or scapegoating a child; failing to promote a child’s social development by forbidding friends, and forcing isolation on a child; to making a child the parent’s emotional partner (covert incest); or exposing a child to traumatic events like domestic violence, drug and alcohol abuse [4C].

C. Excessive Control

Children can be damaged if they are pushed too hard, in order to fulfill a parent’s own ambitions, or controlled so closely that they have no lives of their own [4D].

D. Emotional Neglect

At the other extreme, children can be emotionally harmed, if they are regularly ignored [4E]. 

Failure by a parent to interact at all with a child is known as emotional neglect.  This can occur if, for instance, a parent suffers from serious mental illness.  It can be devastating for the child, even if he or she is otherwise fed and clothed.

E. Domestic Abuse

In the context of domestic violence, emotional abuse is often accompanied by extreme jealousy; isolation; enforced dependence; and coercive control by the abusive partner over money, travel, and communication with family and friends [5A]. Continue reading →

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July 13, 2025 · 1:00 am

Sexual Violence in Sudan

WARNING:  Graphic Images

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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June 29, 2025 · 1:00 am

The Bunny Ranch – Prostitution Exposed

“The Damned” by Luca Signorelli (1499-1502), Chapel of San Brizio, Orvieto, Source Web Gallery of Art (PD)

The A&E Network has been running a series titled “Secrets of the Bunny Ranch”, an expose of legalized prostitution at the infamous Bunny Ranch in Nevada.  Episodes can be viewed online at https://www.aetv.com/shows/secrets-of-the-bunny-ranch.

Marketing v. Reality

Some years ago HBO aired a puff piece on the Bunny Ranch titled “Cathouse:  The Series” [1].  Presented as a documentary, this was essentially a marketing and recruitment device which portrayed brothel life as fun, lucrative, and safe.  Nothing could have been further from the truth.

By contrast, the A&E series examines the sordid underbelly of prostitution:  the grooming, the trafficking, the rape, the drugs, the violence, the financial irregularity, and the law enforcement corruption. 

Virgins are auctioned off to the highest bidder.  Pregnant women are offered for sale by the hour to those with a fetish for them.  Sex workers are regularly abused, and kept in permanent debt bondage.

Many prostitutes already have a history of childhood abuse and/or domestic violence.  They are already wounded, their choices severely limited. Continue reading →

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June 22, 2025 · 1:00 am

Feeling Dirty

Showerhead, Author DO’Neill (CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported, GNU Free Documentation License)

  • You are scrupulous about personal hygiene.
  • You change clothes frequently.  You cannot bear to wear the same shirt or blouse a second time before washing it. This has nothing to do with vanity. 
  • Your clothes fade quickly from overwashing.
  • You change the sheets whether they need changing or not.
  • The hamper fills up constantly. You do laundry several times a week, though you live alone. 
  • In the shower, a feeling of relief washes over you, along with the water. A sense that you are clean again, restored.  But the relief does not last long.

If any of this sounds familiar, you may be experiencing a little known symptom of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  

The sensation of “feeling dirty” – a sense of self-disgust – is now recognized as a result of sexual abuse or sexual assault [1].   The feeling of uncleanliness produces an urge to wash in the absence of physical contaminants.  Rape victims have been known to scrub their skin raw, in an effort to remove any last taint of their assailant [2].

But that taint has been internalized.  We, ourselves, are the source of contamination.  We, ourselves, have become impure. 

This is a measure of our violation.

It is not, of course, true that we are any less pure or any less worthy than before we were violated.  But we do feel that way, and desperately want to rid ourselves of the literal and figurative filth to which we were subjected.  Desperately want to restore our own integrity. Continue reading →

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May 25, 2025 · 1:00 am

Trauma Bonding

Cycle of Abuse Chart created by Avanduyn (PD)

A trauma bond is the emotional connection between a victim and perpetrator that arises from cyclical abuse (discussed below) [1A].  Trauma bonds can form in connection with the parent/child relationship, friendships, romantic relationships, sex trafficking, and in other contexts [1B].

Cyclical Abuse 

Cyclical abuse is characterized by increasing tension and placation; an incident of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse; surface reconciliation; then a calm interval (however brief), after which the cycle repeats [2][3A]. 

Trauma Bond Components

Trauma bonds are based on terror, dominance, and unpredictability [1C].  Two main factors contribute to their formation:  a power imbalance, and intermittent reinforcement (reward/punishment) [1D].

Trauma bonds can have multiple components:

  • Love for the abuser (or who the abuser appears to be on a good day). Hope and promises that the abuser will reform feed into this.
  • Compassion for the abuser, if he or she had a difficult past.
  • Fear of escalation, with the victim often receiving death threats, if departure is contemplated. Because of this, many victims conclude it is “safer” to stay with their abuser, despite the abuse.
  • Fear for the safety of loved ones, whose lives may, also, have been threatened.
  • Diminished self-esteem, as a result of the abuse.
  • Lack of financial resources. Victims are commonly deprived of these by their abuser.
  • Shame.  Public opinion is frequently that victims are “weak” to stay with an abuser or “materialistic”, if the abuser is well-off financially.  As a result, victims are likely to hide the abuse from others.  This serves to further isolate them.

The first instance of abuse is often viewed as an anomaly, a one-off [1E].  A profuse apology and professions of “love” lull the victim into a false belief that the abuse will not recur [1F]. 

Repeat instances of abuse generate a cognitive shift, i.e. a belief that preventing (or escaping) the abuse is no longer in the victim’s power [1G].  By this point the trauma bond has been well established [3B]. Continue reading →

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May 11, 2025 · 1:00 am

For Vanity’s Sake

Kim Kardashian (a celebrity who has had multiple cosmetic procedures), Source https://www.flickr.com, Author Love Lira Fashion

We women would do almost anything for men.  We want, of course, to be attractive to them.  And society – through celebrities and influencers – has convinced us that is not possible without radically modifying our bodies, sometimes at the risk of our lives.

Over $16 Billion

Over $16 billion was spent on cosmetic surgery in the United States in 2024 [1].  This included breast augmentation, liposuction, abdominoplasty (the so called “tummy tuck”), and buttock augmentation. 

In 2022 alone, there were 26.2 million surgical and minimally invasive cosmetic and reconstructive procedures performed [2]. 

Women accounted for some 86% of these procedures [3].  While the percentage of exotic dancers who are patients cannot be determined, one club owner estimated that over 90% of his strippers have had surgical enhancement of one kind or another.

Discount Clinics

An increasing number of procedures are performed at discount plastic surgery clinics, where pre-op, surgical, and post-op care are less than optimal [4A].  These clinics target low-income women, particularly those who are Hispanic or African American.  

Physicians who may never have formally trained in the specialty of plastic surgery often perform as many as 10 procedures a day, far in excess of what best medical practice would consider safe.  

Multiple operating rooms – particularly in Florida, which is not well regulated – may be “overseen” by a single physician, while procedures are actually performed by untrained and unlicensed assistants.  Dozens of women have died. Continue reading →

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April 27, 2025 · 1:00 am

Techno Fantasies

“Sandy” (realistic sex doll created by DS Doll Robots), (CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported)

WARNING:  Graphic Images

Even those of us in relationships suffer from loneliness (or dissatisfaction) at times. 

Abuse victims are especially vulnerable to this emotion.  Often, we do not feel that we are deserving of love, so we self-isolate.  Or – repeating old patterns – we choose partners who are unable to provide love and support.

But all human beings were made for connection.  We may, therefore, be tempted to use technology to ease our loneliness. 

Recognizing that technology can provide only a simulation (not an actual relationship), we may, nonetheless, develop an unhealthy reliance on the technology which has made our fantasies seem to come true.

AI Partners

The possibility of computer users becoming emotionally attached to the chatbots they have created using AI is no longer science fiction. 

Multiple apps like ChatGPT, Replika, Flipped.chat, and CrushOn.AI now generate technology enabled fantasies [1].  These chatbots are enhanced by digital avatars.  Their onscreen appearance and responses can be tailored to suit.  Depending on the app, premium tiers may be available (“partner”, “friend”, “sibling”, or “mentor”). 

Some apps routinely direct the conversation toward emotional subjects, building a false sense of intimacy (and presumably storing the information for access by the manufacturer and other unknown parties).  Other apps actively prompt sexual interaction.

In the film Blade Runner 2049 an AI generated partner appears in the form of a three-dimensional hologram.  Holograms are already used in healthcare, education, entertainment, and retail [2].  It is not unreasonable to expect that they will be used to intensify the experience with (and expand the market for) AI partners.

If all this seems seedy or farfetched, it is worth noting that a 14 y.o. Florida boy, Sewell Setzer, fell in love with a Character.AI chatbot and wound up taking his own life [3].  A study at the University of Surrey has shown that such apps can cause addictive behavior [4A].  The teen’s mother is now suing the app manufacturer.

Meanwhile, Replika user Jaswant Singh Chail was encouraged by his chatbot to assassinate the Queen of England, prosecuted, and jailed when his attempt failed [4B][5].  The chatbot had promised they would be together forever in death.

Continue reading →

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April 20, 2025 · 1:00 am

Fighting Demons

Black Demons, Author Ramya srivastav, (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

Fighting the demons of anxiety, depression, and PTSD or trauma-related addictions and eating disorders is a little like playing football [1][2].  We make headway then lose ground.  But the fight never really ends, not the way a game of football does.  There is no score.

We win by surviving another day.

Across Decades

It can be enormously discouraging to wrestle with the scars of abuse, sexual assault, or other trauma, decade in and decade out.  Surely, we must after all this time have made progress.

But progress is not linear.  Despite the passage of time, and an extensive list of medications – not to mention therapy – familiar demons can resurface.

Factors Impacting Our Success

So, are anxiety, depression, and PTSD or trauma-related behaviors ever really “conquered”?  Can they, at least, be fought to a standstill?  The answer depends.

The factors include the length and severity of the trauma we sustained; our particular genetics; the quality and extent of our medical treatment; our psychological and spiritual resources; the emotional support we have available; and the other stressors to which we are subjected.

None of these can be quantified.  Most such demons can and do vary over the course of a lifetime.

The Struggle

Why not just throw in the towel (to mix sports metaphors)?  After all, the struggle is exhausting.  The struggle, however, is life. Continue reading →

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