Category Archives: Religion

Idols

Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen – a great speaker and profound Christian writer – said  of paganism that it created idols out of man’s burning desire to see the gods face to face, to “force” them into this broken world of ours and hold them accountable.

That desire is something abuse victims can understand, on a visceral level. We have experienced the ugliness of the world, firsthand. Some of us use drugs or alcohol to numb the pain abuse has caused. Others use food or sex to fill the aching void left by an absence of love.

But these are meager substitutes for God.

Christians know that man’s desire to see God in the flesh was fulfilled in the Person of Jesus Christ. We view sin as the result of human action, but believe the penalty for sin was paid by Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.

Jesus said that the righteous will ask at the Final Judgment:

Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?” (Matt. 25: 37-39).

And He will reply “…inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these…you did it to Me” (Matt. 25: 40).

This then is the crux:  We glorify God by serving others, for God is already here.

That this is a broken world is no indication we have been abandoned to it. Rather, we see Him in the eyes of every child left home alone by a working mother with no other recourse. We see His image in the face of an injured laborer, as well as that of an abused woman.

We see Him through anguish and tears. We see Him despite fear, embarrassment or shame.

We need no idols. Our God is here, among us, in this fallen world. No stench of sin is great enough to keep Him away. He extends His hand of mercy, as no lesser god could.

Original version posted 3/8/12

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Blood on Our Hands

For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb” (Ps. 139: 13).

Prenatal ultrasound is widely accepted as a safe and inexpensive means of evaluating the health of an unborn child. 3D and 4D ultrasound – though the risk they may pose is still somewhat uncertain – can provide images so clear, at 26-30 weeks of gestation, that a family resemblance may be seen before birth and a baby’s smile captured in the womb.

Occasionally, the findings on ultrasound are inconclusive. With fetal magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), it has been possible since the 1990s for physicians to diagnose head, neck, chest, abdominal, and urinary tract abnormalities in the fetus with a greater degree of resolution than on ultrasound.

Gradually, mankind is pulling back the curtain on mysteries that have existed since the dawn of time. Sometimes – with God’s help – the achievements are miraculous. All we can see though is the physical dimension – the part we can poke or prod, measure and weigh.

God sees through to the heart in a way no MRI or ultrasound can. He is, after all, our Maker.

By contrast, nowhere is evil more evident than in the way the world treats its children. Continue reading

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Time and the Value of Women

“Sales in Poznan”, Author MOs810 (CC-BY-SA-3.0 Unported)

‘Vanity of vanities,’ says the Preacher; ‘Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.’ ” (Eccl. 1: 2).

Clearly, women in Western culture are valued for their youth.  We see this all around us.

Ads for every conceivable product from liquor to cable television feature young women (with two ton steel vehicles actually termed “sexy” to increase sales).

Then there are the countless products marketed to women for the ever present “problem” of aging (creams which claim rejuvenating power, hair dyes, Botox injections, and breast implants, to name just a few).  As if living were insufficient.

Starlets in flimsy clothing populate our magazines.  Girls as young as 14 model for us, in the place of adult women.  Meanwhile, women in their 60s seek plastic surgery – even in vitro fertilization – to prolong their saleability.

Each moment lived, a woman’s value decreases or so it can seem.

A Flight from Death

Perhaps the urge to remain young, or at least appear young, is a flight from death.  If anything, however, it highlights the inexorability of time.  The race is rigged.  Everyone loses in the end.

Christians know that this jaded view is incorrect, incomplete since it fails to take God into account.  Some 3000 years ago, when King Solomon composed the Book of Ecclesiastes (from which the quote above is taken), he deliberately wrote from that skewed perspective to drive home his point about the need for God in our lives.

Human nature has not improved much, in the intervening centuries.  We remain susceptible to the adversary’s lies.

True Value

But if youth is valuable, maturity is no less so. Our value in God’s eyes does not diminish with age.  It was never linked to time, in the first place.  Our true value derives from the fact that we have all, male and female, been created by God and that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, died for our Salvation. Continue reading

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Stars

Night sky with stars and tree, author Michael J. Bennett (BY-SA 3.0 Unported)

Since time immemorial lovers have gazed up at the night sky. But the stars were not created for lovers alone. Many have sought consolation from their distant beauty.

What is it about the stars that speaks to us? Their perfection takes our breath away. They remind us how small we are, and fill us with a childlike wonder.

The stars have inspired scientists and poets — some to explore the universe, others to uncover the secret workings of the heart. In every culture, the stars have given rise to myths and legends. And the stars have obliged, displaying our heroes on a grand canvas. Some even believe their fates governed by the stars.

Diamonds left scattered as casually as pebbles on a dark beach, the stars whisper that the world might not be as flawed and cruel as it seems to abuse victims. They dare us to dream of a better future, of a life without pain.

Outer and inner space:  God knows them both. In Him there is hope and healing…no matter how broken we may be.

Above all, that is the promise the stars hold out to us.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He counts the number of the stars; He calls them all by name” (Ps. 147: 3-4).

 FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: http://www.alawyersprayers.com

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Hansel and Gretel

WARNING:  Graphic Images

  • Jack Garcia, a 9 year old Maryland boy, was hand-cuffed and beaten mercilessly by his mother’s boyfriend for eating a slice of birthday cake without permission [1]. Robert Wilson then refused to allow the child medical attention for over four hours. A neighbor called 911, but Jack’s mother turned EMS workers away. By the time they returned, Jack had stopped breathing. Somehow the boy clung to life for almost 5 more days in the hospital, before dying of his injuries. It is expected that Wilson’s charges will be upgraded from assault and child abuse.
  • South Carolina parents, James and Crystal Driggers, have been arrested for forcing their 14 year old daughter to live alone in a tent in the woods, as punishment for eating a pop-tart without permission [2]. The girl was allowed nothing more than a roll of toilet paper, a flashlight, a whistle, and a watch in an area known for wild hogs. As food, the girl was given a can of spaghetti-o’s. She was not to return home for a week. Rescued by her grandmother during a severe thunderstorm, the girl was sent back to the tent by her parents. Investigation revealed she had been regularly turned out of their home for 10 hours at a time over the past month, denied water and the use of bathroom facilities during a period of 100 degree heat. The girl was taken to Social Services. Five other children were removed to their grandmother’s custody. The Driggers have been charged with unlawful neglect of a child. More charges are possible.

The punishment inflicted on these children for the most minor and understandable infractions exceeded all bounds of human decency. We search in vain for explanations for such degeneracy.

Few would treat a dog the way these helpless children were treated. And over a question of permission…as if that made the hell to which the children were subjected excusable.

Children are entitled to have their basic needs met – physical, emotional, and psychological.

Imagine how desperately this forsaken boy and girl longed for something good to eat, anything at all to eat. I cannot help but think of Hansel and Gretel, victimized by the witch. Though the children in that fairytale were hungry, too, at least their tormentor was not a family member.

How much more did these flesh and blood children long to hear a kind word, do you think?

Parents, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged [disheartened and dispirited; their spirits…broke through grief and trouble…or despairing of having any share in the affections of their parents…]” (Col. 3:21 NIV, with commentary from Gill’s Exposition).

Parenthood is a privilege and a blessing, whether it is recognized as that or not. Tenderness is – or should be – a prerequisite. If government intervention were not such a blunt instrument, an argument could almost be made in favor of licensing. At least in theory then permission could be denied the unfit.

[1] Daily News, “Maryland Boy Brutally Beaten for Eating Birthday Cake Dies in Hospital: Officials” by Boyle Murphy, 7/6/15, http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/maryland-boy-brutally-beaten-eating-birthday-cake-dies-article-1.2283115.

[2] NBC News, “Parents Forced Daughter to Live in Woods After Eating Unauthorized Pop-Tart: Police” by Kathryn Robinson, 7/6/15, http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/parents-force-daughter-live-woods-after-eating-pop-tart-n387591.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: http://www.alawyersprayers.com

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Abuse and Our View of God

God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him” (1 John 4: 16).

The image we have of God is greatly influenced by the childhood experience with our own fathers, and the men who – willingly or not – filled that role in our lives. We view God as possessing all their faults while, at the same time, blaming Him for those faults.

Abuse necessarily darkens the lens through which we see God.

If our fathers were absent, chances are we will see God as absent and unconcerned for our welfare. If the men with whom we had relationships as children were hard and critical of us, we are likely to see God as harsh and judgmental.

If our fathers were cruel and sadistic, or molested us under the guise of “love”, we may see God as cruel or deceptive, and turn our backs on Him entirely. After all, He turned His on us first. Didn’t He?

Incest survivors may be threatened by the very concept of God as a “father” [1]. It speaks to us not of love and protection, but of violation. The Bible though uses many different images for God. These include our Shield (Ps. 3: 3), our Rock (Ps. 18: 2), our Shepherd (Ps. 23: 1), our Healer (Ps. 30: 2), and our Protector (Ps. 78: 23-29).

The Gospel is transformative for abuse victims, in this regard. The lens is wiped clean. We can for the first time see God clearly.

And we can see ourselves in a new light. Our true value, long clouded by abuse, is suddenly clear. For many of us, the impact of this is akin to forgiveness and equally powerful. Continue reading

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Darkness

Pedophiles have found a way to communicate, exchange child pornography, and offer children for sexual activity in relative freedom [1]. To do this they utilize something known as the “darknet”.

The darknet is a private computer network accessible only by browsers which mask the identity of the user with encryption software. The darknet is a part of the Deep Web which, in turn, is a part of the World Wide Web we all know.

Not indexed by standard search engines like Google, the Deep Web was originally intended for military use [2]. It is still partially funded by the US government, with the purpose of facilitating free speech by political dissidents in China and elsewhere.

Unfortunately, authorities suspect the Deep Web has become a haven for criminality. Comprised of billions of websites (some merely massive databases), it is growing exponentially in size. The darknet is a case in point. Continue reading

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Mattress

Though women are encouraged to be sexually active in our culture, they are not always treated kindly when they take that advice.

Mattress

A sexually available girl who has many partners.

Mattress Back

A girl who has sex so often, whether with the same partner (nympho) or many different ones (slut), that her back seems to be constantly on a mattress.

-Urban Dictionary

Child victims of sexual abuse must negotiate this terrain with care. The emotional scars they carry do not make that an easy task.

Some women abused in childhood will seek as adults to reclaim their bodies by initiating frequent, anonymous sex. For them, sex is an attempt at self-affirmation. But no amount of it will fill the void left behind by abuse [1].

Tragically, a great many prostitutes fall into this category [2]. Drug use to dull the pain is common in the sex trade [3].

Other women will engage in sex (often with many partners) in a desperate search for love. These are the girls passed from boy to boy in high school; the women who settle for one night stands, since nothing else is being offered. Continue reading

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Greater than We Know

I’d like to tell you the story of two women. It is a true story, not a fairytale. Both these women faced hardship and loss. However, they responded differently which is the lesson for us at the heart of their story.

Naomi was an Israelite woman who moved with her husband and two sons to nearby Moab, during a time of famine. Naomi’s husband soon died. The young men married Moabite women with pagan beliefs. Ruth was one of these.

To Naomi’s sorrow, after about ten years her sons, also, died. Hearing that the famine at home had ended, Naomi decided to return. She urged her daughters-in-law to remain in Moab, and rebuild their lives.

But Ruth had grown especially close to Naomi, and was determined to follow her back. Ruth’s beautiful words have come down to us, over the centuries:

But Ruth said: ‘Entreat me not to leave you, or to turn back from following after you. For wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God, my God’ ” (Ruth 1: 16-17).

Naomi was an embittered woman, angry with God for what she had been through.

Ruth, on the other hand, is remembered as a woman of faith and integrity. Without complaint, Ruth went to work in the fields to sustain herself and Naomi on their return, in the process, winning the love and admiration of a man who would become her new husband.

We are not promised that Prince Charming will ride in on a white horse. Tragedies will befall us in this broken world. Our dreams will at times be dashed, and our hearts broken. But we can rest assured our lives will have purpose, even when we do not see that purpose.

Abuse can be devastating, its scars lifelong. But the violation is not the sum total of our lives. With God, there is always hope. Sometimes, in fact, God’s plans for us may be greater than we know.

Ruth could easily have become bitter when her first husband died. She could have doubted God’s plans for her life. When she chose to remain with her mother-in-law, Ruth had no idea that she would remarry…or that she would become the great-grandmother of kings, and enter the lineage of Christ [1] [2].

Yet she did.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jer. 29: 11).


[1] Ruth is documented in Scripture as having been the great-grandmother of King David, and the great-great-grandmother of King Solomon (Ruth 4: 13, 17, 21). She is expressly included in the geneology of Christ (Matt. 1: 5).

[2] Though scholars continue to debate its significance, archaeological evidence for King David appears to have been unearthed at Tel Dan, in northern Israel, on a stone stela dating to the 9th Century BC.

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If You Have Survived…

Sometimes, the critical voices from all sides can be overwhelming to abuse victims (and non-victims, for that matter).  Other times, the criticism of a single loved one will become the inescapable voice in our heads. This is a little advice to tuck away for such times.

If you have survived abuse or neglect, you are not a failure [1]. Having survived at all is an achievement. The scars you bear attest to your strength, not your failure.

It is not your purpose in life to meet the expectations of others, certainly not those of family members and other loved ones incapable of loving you in return.

Obvious as this may sound, make sure you seek validation from someone actually capable of giving it to you. Some people are simply blind. They lack the ability to see you clearly. Others may find it easier to focus on your imagined defects, than their real ones.

Anyone saying you should limit yourself, rather than use the gifts God gave you, may be worried about their own limitations. Criticism that convinces you that you can do nothing right will result in your doing nothing at all.

Self-blame is a paralyzing form of abuse. Try not to engage in it. If you’ve made mistakes, learn from them. That’s how life works for all of us.

Life is always better than death. Choose life… if nothing else to spite your detractors [2].  You have at least as much right to this world as they do.

[1] This is not to suggest that the victims of abuse and neglect who did not survive were, in any sense, “failures”. The label does not apply.

[2] Small joke.  Use every tool at your disposal, including humor.

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