Gestating and Non-Gestating Parents

Noun Affected Population, Source The Noun Project https://thenounproject.com/browse/collection-icon/ocha-humanitarian-icons-16/, Author United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs, (PD)

Both chambers of the New York State legislature have passed a bill eliminating the terms “mother” and “father” from Family Law, i.e. that category of law governing parental rights, custody, visitation, support, etc. [1].  

Once the bill is signed into law, those terms will be replaced with the gender neutral terms “gestating parent” a/k/a mother, and “non-gestating parent” a/k/a father.

Gender Neutral Trend

This is part of a growing trend.  Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, and Hawaii have already done something comparable [2].

The change is more than a matter of political correctness, like the term “pregnant people”.  It is an attempt by the law to acknowledge the new norm in which two Dads, two Moms, egg donors, sperm donors, and gestational carriers (surrogates) are all a reality. 

In effect, it is a recognition that the terms “mother” and “father” have become outdated.  It broadens the legal definition of “parent” to those who lack any biological bond with a child.

Parenthood and Biology

Society is rapidly detaching parenthood from biology, just as it has detached gender.  It is simultaneously elevating non-parental relationships to the level of parenthood, while diminishing the importance of the parental relationship.

Certainly, children can be loved by those without a biological connection to them.  Certainly, some biological parents are bad parents.

But bearing and raising children involves more than mechanically incubating an egg.  Biological parenthood creates a special bond.  That is part of God’s design.

The profound emotional connection between a mother and her child is supported by a complex of hormones which promote trust, caregiving, and emotional regulation [3A].  The quality of this early bond lays the groundwork for the child’s future emotional well-being and function in society [3B].

• Oxytocin is knowns as the “love” hormone [3C].  Oxytocin surges during labor, breastfeeding, and skin-to-skin contact between mother and child.
• Prolactin, known for milk production, induces a state of calm and sleepiness, working alongside Oxytocin to promote attachment [4].
• Vasopressin, which is related both to bonding and protective behavior, reinforces caregiving instincts [3D].
• Dopamine, which activates the brain’s reward circuits, makes caregiving feel pleasurable, reinforcing parental behavior [3E].

Cardiac synchrony during close contact further strengthens the mother-child bond by aligning heartbeats and breathing patterns [5].

This complex hormonal interaction is not limited to women. 

Testosterone levels in men decrease during pregnancy and after childbirth [6A][9A].  This is thought to reduce aggression and competitiveness, while increasing nurturing behavior.  Oxytocin from skin-to-skin contact helps fathers feel more connected to their babies [6B][7][9B].  Prolactin rises in fathers during pregnancy and postpartum, increasing sensitivity to infant cues [6C].  Vasopressin likewise influences paternal caregiving [8]. 

Fathers who interact more often with their infants undergo more pronounced biological changes, which may explain why some biological fathers take little or no interest in their children [9C].

Moreover, for a variety of reasons, a high proportion of adopted children seek out their biological parents [14].

Risk of Child Abuse and Neglect

Research has consistently shown that children are at higher risk of abuse and neglect when an unrelated adult male, such as a boyfriend or cohabiting partner, lives in the home, as compared with married biological parents.

The National Incidence Study of Abuse and Neglect actually found that the rate of abuse or neglect for children living with a single parent and that parent’s partner was 8.4 times higher than the rate for children living with married biological parents, irrespective of whether that partner was the biological father [10]!

A Fragile Families Study in 2009 found that families with a man who was not the biological father of all children were significantly more likely to be contacted by Child Protective Services than families with a biological father in the home [11].

Non-parental custody is not inherently unsafe.  However, the risk of child abuse or neglect in such situations can be increased by a prior history of abuse on the part of the adult in the caregiver role, mental health issues, substance abuse, high stress, isolation from familial support, and a justification for violence [12].

Risk of Sex Trafficking

Sex trafficking occurs when sex offenders are permitted to abuse a child in exchange for money, drugs, or shelter; when a child is used in pornography; or when a child is forced into sex work with the proceeds going to the adult charged with caring for that child [13]. 

Tragically, this can happen both in a biological and non-biological setting.

Society today is rending the traditional family asunder, in the effort to expand it.  That is not likely to benefit our children in the long run.

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[1]  Snopes, “New York bill would replace ‘mother’ and ‘father’ with gender-neutral terms in family law” by Anna Rascouet-Paz, 6/5/26, https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/new-york-mother-father-gestating/.

[2]  Factually, “Which US States Have Adopted Gender-Neutral Parentage or Custody Language?”, 6/5/26, https://factually.co/fact-checks/law/gender-neutral-parentage-custody-laws-by-state-02bb80.

[3A through 3E]  Biology Insights, “The Science of Mother-Infant Bonding and Attachment”, 12/8/25, https://biologyinsights.com/the-science-of-mother-infant-bonding-and-attachment/.

[4]  Science Insights, “The Science and Strategies of Mother-Infant Bonding”, 11/27/25,  https://scienceinsights.org/the-science-and-strategies-of-mother-infant-bonding/.

[5]  Discover Wild Science, “From Hormones to Heartbeats:  The Science of Bonding on Mother’s Day” by Maria Faith Saligumba, 6/4/26, https://discoverwildscience.com/from-hormones-to-heartbeats-the-science-of-bonding-on-mothers-day-4-307592/.

[6A, 6B, and 6C]  TNT Wellness, “The Hormonal Bond:  How Men Connect with Their Babies” by Mandi Green, 10/4/24, https://tnthealthyhormones.com/the-hormonal-bond-how-men-connect-with-their-babies/.

[7]  Center for Babywearing Studies (CBWS), “The Potential for Oxytocin to Enhance Bonding in New Families”, 2/12/25, https://www.cbws.org/blog/Potential-Oxytocin-Enhance%20Bonding.

[8]  Science Direct, “Oxytocin, a parenting hormone” by Ruth Feldman and Marian Bakermans-Kranenburg, June 2017, https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2352250X17300325.

[9A, 9B, and 9C]  Psychology Today, “How Becoming a Dad Changes Men” by Jutta Joormann PhD, 4/9/23, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/thoughts-and-feelings/202304/being-more-involved-affects-new-fathers-biologically.

[10]  Hope 4 Hurting Kids, “Risks of Child Abuse and Neglect Based on Family Structure” by Wayne Stocks, https://hope4hurtingkids.com/trauma-tragedy/abuse/risks-of-child-abuse-and-neglect-based-on-family-structure/.

[11]  National Center for Health Research, “Child Abuse and Father Figures:  Which Kind of Families Are Safest to Grow Up In?” by Diana Zuckerman PhD and Sarah Pedersen,  https://www.center4research.org/child-abuse-father-figures-kind-families-safest-grow/.

[12]  Centers for Disease Control (CDC), Child Abuse and Prevention, “Risk and Protective Factors”, 5/15/24, https://www.cdc.gov/child-abuse-neglect/risk-factors/index.html.

[13]  US Dept. of Justice, “No One Can Hurt You Like Family:  What We Know About Familial Trafficking Identification and Response”, January 2024, https://cops.usdoj.gov/html/dispatch/01-2024/familial_trafficking.html.

[14]  How We Became Family, “How Many Adoptees Search for Their Birth Parents?” by Teresa Villegas, 4/7/26, https://howwebecameafamily.com/how-many-adoptees-search-for-their-birth-parents.html.

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