Christian Marriage and the Misuse of Scripture, Part 2 – Faith and Fault

We continue this series on abuse in Christian marriage with a few more of Satan’s lies.

“Abuse in a Marriage Is the Woman’s Fault, a Result of Her Sin”

Not only are women frequently blamed for the abuse to which they are subjected.  A Christian woman may be told that, as a sinner herself, she cannot criticize her husband’s behavior.  If anything, it is her duty to reform him.

While a clever way of shifting blame, this is circular logic.  It has no basis either in fact or Scripture.

Abuse – physical, emotional, financial, or sexual – is a deliberate act by the abuser.  It is not the woman’s fault, and not her sin.  No one deserves to be abused – not a “witch”, not a “nag”, not a “pig”, not an “old bag”, or any other offensive term the abuser may devise to excuse his reprehensible behavior.  No one.

True, a sinner will reap what he sows (Gal. 6: 7).  However, it is the abuser – not the victim – who has sown the wind, and will reap the whirlwind (Hosea 8: 7).

As for reform, it may take criminal liability – if that – for an abuser to change his lifestyle.

“Abuse Ultimately Works to Improve a Woman’s Character”

While the Bible teaches us to bear our trials patiently, it does not require us to tolerate evil [1].  The Bible consistently opposes injustice.

The Old Testament prophets repeatedly preached against cruelty toward widows and orphans (Ex. 22: 22-23; Deut. 27: 19; Ps. 10: 17-18; Ps. 68: 5; Is. 1: 17).  This theme continues into the New Testament (1 Tim. 5: 1-16; James 1: 27).

Does it make sense that the Bible would require men to care for the widows and orphans of strangers, yet allow abuse of their own wives and children?

“If a Woman Has Sufficient Faith, the Abuse Will Stop”

Women who have been sold this bill of goods believe themselves responsible, if the abuse continues.  But the women murdered by their partners do not die for lack of faith.  As we have said, abuse is an intentional act by the abuser.

Again, these are LIES and half-truths – Scripture distorted, nothing more.  We must not be deceived.  To do so is to risk our faith, our sanity, and our lives.

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[1]  The promise that God will not allow a woman to be tempted beyond her capacity to endure (1 Cor. 10: 13) relates to a woman’s ability to resist the temptation to sin – not her ability to endure abuse.

Originally posted 9/20/15

This series will continue next week with Part 3 – Forgiveness

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