Category Archives: Religion

Runaways

Each year over 400,000 children under the age of 18 are reported missing [1A].  The vast majority of these are runaways, highly vulnerable to homelessness, sex trafficking, and worse.

Though estimates vary, there may be as many as 2.8 million runaway and homeless youth in the US [2A].

“Half of all runaway minors report that their parents told them to leave or knew they were running away and did not care [3].”

“Runaways” are minors who have left home with the intention not to return.  The category includes children abandoned by the adults who should have cared for them, and teens thrown out of the house.

Risk Factors

According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, risk factors include the following [1B]:

  • Family conflict
  • Physical or sexual abuse
  • Pregnancy
  • Bullying or social rejection
  • Sexual orientation
  • Online enticement
  • Substance abuse
  • Gang activity
  • Mental health issues
  • Developmental issues

Some 47% of runaways report family conflict; 43% report physical abuse in the home; 34% report sexual abuse in the home.  Among girls, the rate of sexual abuse rises to 80%. Continue reading

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BOOK REVIEW: One Petal at a Time

Joni Caggiano who blogs at https://the-inner-child.com/ has written a sensitive and uplifting book of poetry about childhood abuse.

Like 28 million other Americans, Joni is the survivor of parental alcoholism and all that entails [1][2].  Her book is directed to survivors of any form of familial dysfunction.

Titled One Petal at a Time, the book is illustrated by the acclaimed artist Francisco Bravo Cabrera https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbXMBr3Xnic and divided into three parts:  The Beginning, Seedling, and Blooming.  Each part is introduced by a moving essay. Continue reading

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Rolling Dough

File:Loaf of sourdough bread cooling.jpg
Sourdough bread, Source https://www.flickr.com (CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication)

In a world where abuse of every kind is far too common and life, itself, often has little value this story of love and compassion stands out.

Brooke and Chris Vaughan of Lubbock, TX are attempting to raise $7000 for the purchase of a postural support seat for their disabled son, Maverick [1A].  The 20 month year old suffers from lissencephaly, a rare brain condition which occurs in 1 of 100,000 infants causing developmental delays, seizures, and other health issues [2].

The couple have been denied coverage for this equipment by their insurance carrier, though the boy’s neurologists, physical therapists, occupational therapist, and speech therapists have all advocated for its use. Continue reading

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Rape as a Weapon II

WARNING: Graphic Images

“‘Neighbourhoods and homes were continuously attacked, looted, burned and destroyed,’ especially those where Masalit and other African communities lived, and their people were harassed, assaulted, sexually abused, and at times, executed [1A].”

The United Nations confirms that rape is being used as a weapon against women and girls in the Sudanese civil war [1B][2A].

NGOs describe rape as an everyday occurrence, with both warring parties participating, and numbers estimated as high as 4,400 during this latest conflict [2B].  But civil war has been ongoing in Sudan (in three stages) since 1955, and rape has been employed from the outset [3].

“…systemic rape in homes, detention facilities, public checkpoints, and interrogation centres…committed mainly by members of the police force, intelligence officers, interrogators and prison guards…[including] forced nudity, [punitive] virginity test, and sexual torture [4A].”

This tactic is not new.  We have seen it used in Iraq; Rwanda; Syria, Egypt, Libya, and elsewhere in the Middle East during the Arab Spring; in India; and most recently against Israel [4B][5][6][7A][8][9].  In Rwanda, between 100,000 and 250,000 women were raped during the three months of genocide. Continue reading

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BOOK REVIEW: Yeshiva Girl

Set in a Jewish household and written in the first person, Yeshiva Girl by Rachel Mankowitz is a novel on the difficult topic of incest.  It is well worth the read.

The book’s main character, Isabel, is a 15 y.o. girl grappling with the range of emotions the trauma of her father’s sexual advances produced in her.  Not surprisingly, the sexual abuse and family dysfunction profoundly impact her sense of self-worth.

Rachel tells this poignant story in a simple, straightforward manner.  We experience Isabel’s isolation, her confusion and inner turmoil.  We come to know her sorrows, anxieties, and disappointments.  We feel her suppressed rage.

What distinguishes this book is the author’s examination through Isabel’s eyes of the place of religion in sexual abuse.  Isabel’s father professes to be an observant Jew, yet clearly feels no compunction about molesting her.  Her mother and grandmother have not rescued her. Continue reading

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Child Abuse Myths

File:Guardian ad Litem advocates for children 120514-M-SB340-277.jpg

Planting blue pinwheels during Onslow Memorial Hospital’s Guardian ad Litem Ceremony (2012), Source https://www.dvidshub.net/image/579653, Author Lance Cpl. Martin Egnash on behalf of Marine Corps (PD as work product of federal govt.)

The blue pinwheel is a nationwide symbol for child abuse, and April is Child Abuse Awareness Month.  The following myths about child abuse, however, persist [1][2].

Myth #1 Child Abuse Is Rare

Because child abuse is underreported, it is difficult to obtain precise figures.  Estimates are that 1 in 7 children in the United States experience emotional, physical, and/or sexual abuse or neglect.  Over 600,000 children are abused each year [3A].  Around 1,820 children died of abuse and neglect in 2020 [3B].

Myth #2 Child Abuse Is Confined to the Lower Economic Classes

Child abuse transcends race, economic status, and geography.  It has been present in every age and every society.

Myth #3 Predators Are Strangers

We imagine the menacing stranger in a raincoat.  But about 90% of sexual abuse victims know their abuser.

Across all types of abuse, about 91% of victims are maltreated by one or both parents.  Other perpetrators include relatives, foster parents, neighbors, and daycare workers.

Myth #4 Perpetrators Are Mentally Ill

While some abusers may have mental health issues such as depression, most abusive parents are not mentally ill.

Though pedophilia is still considered a psychiatric disorder, sexual predation in not excused by reason of diminished capacity on the part of pedophiles.  To the contrary, some psychiatrists now argue that pedophilia is merely a form of sexual orientation [4].

This blurs the line between illness and evil, a dangerous step toward normalizing pedophilia.

Myth #5 Children Provoke Abuse

This is blatantly false.  No amount of bad behavior on a child’s part justifies abuse.

Myth #6 Sexual Abuse Is the Most Common Form

Of the over three million cases of alleged child abuse investigated in 2017, 74.9% actually involved neglect.  Neglect is found most among infants and young children.  Caregivers fail to meet the child’s basic needs for food, clothing, shelter, social interaction, safety/supervision, healthcare, and education.

Myth #7 Emotional Abuse and Neglect Are Less Serious

Emotional abuse is associated with severe and long-lasting psychological/behavioral/developmental/physical issues.  But all forms of abuse include an emotional component.  While physical abuse may result in more obvious signs of maltreatment, the importance of caring for a child’s emotional well-being cannot be overemphasized.

Myth #8 A Young Child Will Have No Memory of Abuse

This is a rationalization predators often employ.  It is not, however, true.  Although young children may not be able to express the trauma they experience verbally, they are likely to recall that trauma and express it in other ways.  Repressed memories of childhood trauma can, also, resurface in adulthood.

Myth #8  Children Often Lie about Abuse

Less than 10% of allegations of sexual abuse by children and teens are false. Continue reading

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Alleged Trafficking by Planned Parenthood

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/25/Anti-abortion_graffiti_in_Stanford_University_-_1.jpg

Pro-life graffiti, Stanford University, Author Suiren2022 (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

Missouri Attorney General, Andrew Bailey, recently filed suit against Planned Parenthood for alleged trafficking in transporting children out of state for abortions without parental consent [1][2].

Investigation Results

It is against the law in Missouri to aid a minor in obtaining an abortion in another state without such consent.  An investigation revealed that Planned Parenthood regularly circumvented this law.

Staff would remove minors from school by using altered doctors’ notes.  These minors were then transported to neighboring Kansas for abortions, and returned without their parents’ knowledge. Continue reading

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A Blind Eye

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e5/Marko_I._Rupnik.jpg

Former Jesuit Marko Rupnik, Author Centroaletti (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

Gloria Branciani first accused the Catholic priest, Marko Rupnik, of adult  clergy abuse as long ago as 1993 [1].  Some 20 women (most of them nuns, members of the Loyola Community, a now defunct religious group Rupnik co-founded) have made the same accusation against him.

Clergy abuse is the misuse of religious authority to harass, exploit, or engage in sexual activity with victims [2].

Branciani described Rupnik’s emotional, psychological, and spiritual manipulation at a recent news conference.  Evidently, Rupnik’s sexual proclivities included a partiality for threesomes which he likened to the Trinity — a comparison simultaneously blasphemous and narcissistic.

Though complaints have now been ongoing for decades, the Catholic Church has yet to remove Rupnik from the priesthood.

Background

Rupnik is a famous artist in Catholic Church circles [3A].  His mosaics decorate sanctuaries and shrines worldwide.  That may be why the church turned a blind eye to his abuse. Continue reading

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Compassion and Contempt

File:Compassion holding hands.jpg

Image by U3190523 (CC BY-SA International)

Those of us who somehow managed to survive childhood abuse and/or domestic violence may actually have contempt for our fellow survivors.

Why is this?  Certainly, compassion would seem more natural.  After all, we know the pain of those who shared the same experience.

The answer is surprisingly simple.  We project onto others the contempt we feel for ourselves.

Weakness

They were weak, at least we think they were.  We do not want to be associated with weakness.  That might imply we were once weak, too.

It would dredge up the fear and vulnerability — the trauma — of childhood abuse or domestic violence.  It might imply that we were powerless in the face of abuse or domestic violence.  That knowledge is too distressing for us.  Better to hold others in contempt.

That we still have such intense feelings suggests we have not fully come to terms with our experience. Continue reading

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Imperfection

File:Hand Pinted Kintsugi Pottery Bowl.jpg

Hand-painted Kintsugi pottery bowl by Artist Ruthann Hurwitz, Author Ruthann Hurwitz, (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

One of the greatest challenges for those of us who have lived through abuse is coming to terms with our own imperfections.

Not Unworthy of Love

We were taught — endlessly, often by the most brutal means — that our imperfections made us unlovable, unworthy of love.

That, of course, was a lie.  However, it left us believing that any imperfection at all was unacceptable, in effect, that it disqualified us from membership in the human race.

Yet, humanity is defined by imperfection.  We may strive for excellence — at times even achieve it.  But all human beings are by nature flawed. Continue reading

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