Category Archives: Child Molestation

April 9, 2023 · 1:00 am

“God Is Not Sick of Your Struggle” by Jennifer Arimborgo

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a7/Bernhard_Plockhorst_-_Good_Shephard.jpg/326px-Bernhard_Plockhorst_-_Good_Shephard.jpg

“Good Shepherd” by Bernhard Plockhorst (c. 1889), Source allposters.com, (PD-Art, PD-old-100)

As abuse survivors dealing with the scars of our experience, we tend to repeat certain mistakes and despise ourselves for that fact…as if will power alone could overcome trauma.

Often, we imagine that God despises us, as well.  God does not, however, view our efforts with contempt.  Far from it.

Author Jennifer Arimborgo who blogs at Feeding on Jesus https://feedingonjesus.com explores this topic in a post titled “God Is Not Sick of Your Struggle” (excerpted below).

Jennifer’s books are available at Amazon.com.

“…We sometimes live under the false impression that God is repelled by our imperfections and brokenness…Scripture teaches us that the opposite is true…His heart does not despise it when we lay bare our worst failures before Him.  He is not disgusted with us.  On the contrary, He gets stirred up with deep compassion and a desire to restore us to a place of wholeness.

After all, that’s what He gave His life for.  Our gentle Shepherd submitted Himself to torture to redeem us.  If He was willing to pour out his life unto death, what wouldn’t He do for us?…”

Continue reading →

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March 12, 2023 · 1:00 am

“What Is Toxic Shame?” by Ann Bale

While the following post by Ann Bale was directed to those harmed through a partner’s sexual addiction, it applies to all those suffering from toxic shame, therefore, all abuse victims.

Ann blogs at Don’t Lose Hope https://sexaddictionpartners.wordpress.com.

“…Toxic shame is the feeling that you’re worthless at your core – so you deserve to be rejected, mistreated and ignored, despised and punished by the people in your life. These are damaging, erroneous beliefs.

Shame develops in response to being abused and unloved, especially by the people who are close to you.

Toxic shame often takes the following forms:

1. Feeling bad (utterly shameful) about something terrible that was done to you.

2. Feeling bad (utterly shameful) about choices and actions that belong to someone else. Here, the shame is “guilt by association” – even where the choices and behaviours have nothing at all to do with you.

3. Feeling stigmatized, or experiencing some form of prejudice, where you feel judged and less than other people. Here, the shame generally relates to feelings of inadequacy related to something beyond your control.

4.  Experiencing shame in response to the way someone else sees and judges you.

5. Experiencing shame because you have different outlooks and values from someone else.

6. Feeling awful (and wrong) because you have set and/ or enforced appropriate and healthy boundaries – boundaries which another individual isn’t happy with (usually because they want to control you and the situation).

7. Feeling ashamed of having and expressing emotions, and especially intense and/ or negative emotions.

8. Feeling ashamed of having and expressing legitimate needs, and asking for those needs to be met.

How to Cope with Toxic Shame

Self-compassion is the key to getting free of toxic shame.  It is making the choice to show compassion to yourself in situations where you feel like a failure, or inadequate, or where you hurt, or are suffering, or are struggling, or weak. It is making every effort to be kind to yourself, and being gentle, understanding and patient with yourself.

Something to Think About

‘Having compassion starts and ends with having compassion for all those unwanted parts of ourself.’ – Pema Chodron

Could you start to show this compassion to yourself [1]?”

—
[1]  Don’t Lose Hope, “What Is Toxic Shame?” by Ann Bale, 3/4/23, https://sexaddictionpartners.wordpress.com/2023/03/04/what-is-toxic-shame/.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT:  https://alawyersprayers.com

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February 26, 2023 · 1:00 am

Recognizing Satan

File:Alexandre Cabanel - Fallen Angel.jpg

“Fallen Angel” by Alexandre Cabanel (1847), Musee Fabre, Montpellier, France (Accession No. 889.2.1), (CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication)

The Daily Beast recently published a lengthy article exploring whether fundamentalist preacher Kent Hovind enabled convicted pedophile Chris Jones and alleged pedophile Brady Byron, ostensibly in the belief they had “reformed” [1][2].

Since The Daily Beast is a proudly left-leaning paper, much is made of the fact Hovind operated a creationist theme park.  Presumably, this is intended as a swipe against Christians.  The article, however, remains deeply troubling.  At a minimum, the details reflect badly both on Hovind’s credibility and judgment.

Failure to Pay Income Tax

For those who may be unaware, Hovind was convicted in 2006 of failure to pay income tax, and ordered to pay $600,000 in restitution.

He was charged in 2015 with mail fraud [2].  Those charges were eventually withdrawn or dismissed.  Hovind was though found guilty of contempt of court.

Domestic Abuse

Even more significant, Hovind was found guilty in 2021 of domestic violence for “body slamming” his estranged wife.  Both Hovind’s ex-wives, Cindi Lincoln and Mary Tocco speak extensively on YouTube about their disturbing experiences with him [3]. Continue reading →

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January 22, 2023 · 1:00 am

Child Labor in the United States

File:Pig carcasses in a Los Angeles meat packing plant.jpg

Workers with pig carcasses at Los Angeles meat packing plant (1945), Source https://digital.library.ucla.edu/catalog/ark:/21198/zz0002qn8w, Author Los Angeles Daily News (CC-BY-4.0 International)

The term “child labor” conjures up images of 19th Century sweat shops.  If meat packing plants are mentioned, some of us may recall Upton Sinclair’s 1905 expose The Jungle [1].

Few of us would imagine that child labor practices are still engaged in today.  Unfortunately, that is the case.

Cleaning Slaughterhouses

The Labor Dept. in December settled a civil suit against Packers Sanitation Services Inc. (PSSI) for the violation of child labor laws [2].

Investigators had found some 50 children (one as young as 13 y.o.) employed by PSSI cleaning slaughterhouses at 5 different locations in Nebraska and Michigan.  An earlier investigation in Kansas was dropped when necessary records could not be obtained.

“Oppressive Child Labor” Standards

The Fair Labor Standards Act prohibits “oppressive child labor” [3].  Labor Dept. regulations identify many positions in slaughterhouses and meat packing plants as hazardous for minors.

In particular, the “kill floors” in meat packing facilities are known to have slippery surfaces from animal fat, hot water, and soap [4A].  Though safety equipment is required for their use, strong cleaning chemicals can cause caustic burns from exposure.

No Penalties or Fines

Despite all this, the Labor Dept. issued no penalties or fines to PSSI [4B]. Continue reading →

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November 27, 2022 · 1:00 am

Of Ogres and Onions, Part 2

File:Mixed onions.jpg

Red and brown onions, Author Colin © User:Colin /Wikimedia Commons /CC BY-SA 3.0

Self-hatred is not productive in the pursuit of change.  Self-forgiveness (as hard for abuse victims to accept as moderation) actually shortens the recovery time from what we may view as “failures” and backsliding.

But self-forgiveness is not a skill abuse victims are taught as children.  We must acquire it on our own.

Here are a few suggestions [1][2][3]:

  1.  Define the infraction, and identify the injured party.

In the context of attempts to move beyond our abusive past, victims are, for the most part, the injured parties [4].  We fail ourselves, and experience overwhelming shame.

The inner dialog goes something like this:

“How stupid of me not to speak up.  That saleswoman must have thought I was an idiot.  I’m sure she could tell I didn’t want the sweater.  I already have a nice sweater.   Besides, the new one is hideous.  If I wasn’t able to speak up in a department store, how am I ever going to speak up in class?  It’s too late for me anyhow.  It was ridiculous to think I could go back to school at my age.”

  2.  Put things in perspective.

Have you started World War III?  No.  Have you abused any children?  Again, the answer is no.  You have bought a sweater which can be returned, given as a gift, worn to an “ugly sweater” party, donated, or discarded outright.

  3.  Tease out the negative feelings.

You have, in a single instance, been less assertive than desired.  That can be remedied the next time.  You can visualize returning the sweater; can even memorize and practice a script.  You can buy sweaters to your heart’s content, and return them all.

And if a saleswoman is unimpressed with your taste, your demeanor, or your credit, what on earth does it matter?  The episode has nothing do with your school performance.  You simply projected your fears forward.

  4.  Be kind to yourself.

Ask yourself whether you would hold anyone else to the high standards you hold yourself, or criticize anyone else as harshly.  Chances are you are kinder to others than to yourself.

If you don’t feel “deserving” of kindness, try it anyway.  Encouragement produces far better results with abuse victims than rebuke. Continue reading →

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November 20, 2022 · 1:00 am

Of Ogres and Onions, Part 1

Shrek | fictional character | Britannica

DreamWorks characters “Shrek” and “Donkey”
Copyright © DreamWorks LLC
Image courtesy of Encyclopedia Britannica https://www.britannica.com

“Ogres are like onions…Onions have layers.  Ogres have layers.”

–Shrek, DreamWorks

Almost any American parent will recognize the quote (above).  It is from a conversation between the main character and his donkey sidekick in the children’s film Shrek.  The statement is meant to convey the complexity of ogres.

Change

“I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it.  Instead, I do what I hate” (Rom. 7: 15 NLT).

Change – especially change for the better – is difficult for human beings, too.  Even the Apostle Paul complained of this.

The problem is not weakness of character.  It is our flawed nature, and the very complexity with which God made us (Ps. 139: 14) [1].  Nearly all our actions have multiple layers of causation and meaning (many of these unconscious).

What this implies for abuse victims is that a single psychological insight on our part is not likely to be support an overnight transformation.

That is not to say insights are insignificant.  Even when painful, they give us better understanding of (and better control over) our lives.  As important, insights are cumulative.  If we are patient and persistent, change will come.

Expectations

Our expectations for ourselves must, however, be realistic.  Even those who were never abused encounter challenges in life, and problems achieving their goals.  It is the human condition in a flawed world.  Weight loss programs and gyms have made millions off that fact.

We must not measure ourselves against a behavioral ideal that may be impossible for anyone to attain, abused or not. Continue reading →

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November 13, 2022 · 1:00 am

Cover Up

New Bill Goes After Institutions That Cover Up Child Sexual Abuse, Giving Survivors Chance For Justice - Colorado Coalition Against Sexual Assault

Image courtesy of CBS News.

The following is excerpted from a post by Gabrielle Guthrie.  Gabrielle discusses the cover up of child sexual abuse by religious and other institutions, most particularly the Church of England [1].

The full post can be found at her blog See, there’s this thing called biology… https://insanitybytes2.wordpress.com/2022/11/06/he-fell-where/.

Colorado is among the states that have passed legislation extending the Statute of Limitations on sexual abuse, while targeting those individuals and institutions who knew (or should have known) about the abuse but did not stop it [2][3].

“…it’s the cover up that is so evil, it’s circling the wagons and protecting the power structure, that really rankles.  That’s what lurks behind those deep rooted feelings of powerlessness and injustice.  Sometimes that is even more emotionally painful then the initial assault.

Sexual abuse is evidence that you have no human value, no worth in someone’s eyes.  Those who look at the crime with apathy or complacency, and ignore it, validate that lie and amplify it.  It’s still a lie, but lies are a lot harder to dig out when they are deeply rooted due to other people’s complicity.” Continue reading →

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October 23, 2022 · 1:00 am

Rest

There is much in the world to disturb us.  We can read and watch the news obsessively, can lose sleep focusing on the pain and sorrow.  In fact, with a history of abuse, we may be drawn to distressing subjects.

But our souls, also, need rest.  Rest and peace are necessary to our healing.  The God who made us knows this.  The Bible speaks of there being a time for all things (Eccl. 3: 1-8).

Our most profound rest is in Christ.  He is our defense against the world.

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matt. 11: 28).

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: http://www.alawyersprayers.com

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September 25, 2022 · 1:00 am

Narcan

File:Narcan product.jpg

Narcan, Author Evilleavenger
(CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

The Los Angeles school district will be distributing narcan (naloxone) at all levels, from kindergarten through high school [1].  Staff training in the drug’s use is slated to start in October [2].

The rate of overdoses in Los Angeles county (believed related to fentanyl) has increased by 1700% since 2016 [3].  At least seven teens overdosed this past month alone.  Narcan temporarily reverses the effects of an overdose.

The administration of a narcotic antidote is yet another task unrelated to education we are assigning our teachers.  However necessary such intervention may be, it does nothing to address the underlying problems. Continue reading →

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September 18, 2022 · 1:00 am

MAPs – Normalizing Pedophilia

boy with hands on his shoulders Painting by Rian Lemaire Smulders | Saatchi Art

“Boy with Hands on His Shoulders” by Rian Lemaire Smulders c/o Saatchi Art

The El Paso School District has begun the termination of Amber Parker, an English teacher at Franklin High School, for instructing her students to refer to pedophiles as MAPs or “minor-attracted persons” in a viral video which her supporters maintain was taken out of context [1].  Parker is purported to have said, “So don’t judge people just because they want to have sex with a 5 y.o.”

Dr. Allyn Walker, a professor at Virginia’s Old Dominion University, resigned after having stressed at a panel the importance of pedophiles being treated with “dignity” [2][6].

These are not isolated incidents.  There are pedophile advocacy organizations worldwide [3].

The acronym MAP is apparently preferred by pedophiles over the label “child molester”.  It represents an attempt to normalize pedophilia, and is increasingly being adopted as politically correct, particularly in the LGBT context.

Seeking to remove any negative connotation from the term pederast, there are even pedophiles now characterizing themselves as virtuous [4].  Such individuals view their twisted desires as mere symptoms of a fallen world — somewhere along the spectrum of normal human sexuality (neither aberrant, nor evil). Continue reading →

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