Category Archives: Emotional Abuse

Parental Rights

Mother, father, and child, Source https://pxhere.com/tr/photo/1445573, Author @mohamed hassan (CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication)

The US Supreme Court has handed down a significant decision in Mirabelli v. Bonda reaffirming parental rights [1][2].

California law had required that schools effectively mislead parents about their children’s gender presentation, withholding information from parents as to their children’s use of preferred pronouns at school.  California viewed such disclosure as “forced outing” – as if the state had a greater interest in the welfare of children than their own parents [3].

The US Supreme Court ruling upheld the constitutional rights of parents to freely exercise their religion and direct the upbringing and education of their children [4][5].

In a related decision, Regino v. Staley, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals last year pointed out that although the right of parents to make decisions for their children is not unbounded, the inquiry in cases of substantive due process is “whether the asserted fundamental right is objectively, deeply rooted in this Nation’s history and tradition, and implicit in the concept of ordered liberty, such that neither liberty nor justice would exist if it was sacrificed [6].”

The existence of the family could hardly be more fundamental, and long predated the existence of the state.

Continue reading

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Baby Trafficking

Pregnant woman, Source https://www.flickr.com/photos/aurimas_m/3423098686/, Author Aurimas Mikalauskas of Paliūniškis, Lithuania (CC BY-SA 2.0 Generic)

WARNING:  Graphic Images

In a joint operation between the United States and Mexico, authorities last year captured Martha Mendez Aguilar, known as “La Diabla” (“The Devil”), the head of a grisly baby trafficking ring called the Jalisco New Generation Cartel [1A].

“[This is an] example of what terrorist cartels will do to diversify their revenue streams and finance operations [1B].”

–Joe Kent, Dir. of National Counterterrorism Center

Pregnant women, often from impoverished circumstances, were lured to remote locations.  Once there, the mothers were murdered, and their organs and infants harvested for sale.  The infants were sold to couples for around $14,000 each.

Tragically, this cartel was not the only one to pursue baby trafficking.

Indonesian police uncovered an international baby trafficking ring believed to have sold at least 25 infants to buyers in Singapore since 2023 [2A].  Using Facebook, WhatApp, and other channels, this syndicate targeted expectant mothers who allegedly did not want to raise their infants.

Delivery costs were covered and a small amount of compensation paid to the mothers.  Then the infants were handed over.

In some cases, infants were actually reserved in the womb for purchasers and housed for as long as a year after birth, while fraudulent birth certificates, parental consent forms, medical records, and immigration documents were prepared.

Desperate Straits

“These clinics or shelters use language that sounds compassionate at first, such as ‘you can give birth and take your baby home’.  But in reality, they offer money and illegally transfer custody of the baby [2B].”

— Ai Rahmayanti, Commissioner of the Indonesian Child Protection Commission (KPAI)

Child trafficking cartels are extremely sophisticated, often posing as maternity clinics, orphanages, or shelters which appear to care for vulnerable women and children [2C].

Typically, they target women in desperate straits – those suffering from financial hardship, trapped in debt bondage, abandoned by a spouse or partner, pregnant as the result of sexual violence whether by a partner or stranger, or simply pregnant from a casual sexual relationship [2D].

When manipulation fails, cartels will resort to criminal approaches including direct abduction (whether from hospitals, schools, playgrounds, or other public spaces), and crisis exploitation (natural disasters, civil unrest, or refugee settings) [7A].

Purposes

Infants and children may be trafficked for illegal adoption, prostitution or other sexual abuse, forced marriage, forced organ donation, forced labor or slavery, use in the drug trade, use as beggars, and use as child soldiers [3][4][5].  These can overlap [6]. Continue reading

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The Trouble with Throuples

File:ST TroubleWithTribbles.jpg

Screenshot of William Shatner as Captain James Kirk surrounded by tribbles, Source Star Trek:  The Original Series, Episode “The Trouble with Tribbles”, Copyright © 1967 Paramount Pictures (Fair Use)

There was an old Star Trek episode titled “The Trouble with Tribbles” [1].  Cute and furry little creatures, tribbles multiplied rapidly when fed, and had the potential to destroy entire ecosystems as a result.  The trouble with throuples is not dissimilar.

Throuples, for those unfamiliar with the term, are sexual relationships comprised of three individuals [2].  The fad is a modern variant on polygamy which is again in vogue, as People Magazine and reality TV reflect.

The concept may at first seem titillating.  Why not explore our sexuality to the fullest extent?  It’s “obvious” no single individual can fulfill all our needs.  And why should we have to fulfill the needs of someone else, when that burden can so easily be shared?

Theoretically, each member of a throuple is an equal partner.  Presumably, however, the group can decide to distribute power differently.  With or without consent, both power and attraction can, also, shift within the group.

Unfortunately, tensions that can exist between a married couple are multiplied in the context of a throuple, not diminished. That applies whether the group involves one man/two women, one woman/two men, three women, or three men (and whatever the sexual orientation within the group). Continue reading

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How Tech Giants Delay Child Abuse and Drug Investigations

US police confirm that Meta and Snapchat (parent company Snap Inc.) routinely delay or reject subpoenas and warrants [1A].  These tech giants frequently fail to provide law enforcement with critical information in a timely manner, and fail to take timely action against unlawful activity on their platforms.

This greatly hinders investigations in child abuse, sex trafficking, and drug cases.

Obtaining a response of any kind may require repeated requests and take weeks or months.  Even then the response is often incomplete.  Warrants have been rejected for technical errors as small as the misplacement of a dash or comma.

“Every day of delay puts a child at risk. It can exacerbate damage and even cost lives. We can’t afford to let the delays continue [1B].”

— Shawnna Hoffman, Chief Exec. of International Center for Missing and Exploited Children

While Meta contends that it produced data in 88% of the nearly 75,000 requests it received from authorities between July and December 2024, the International Center for Missing and Exploited Children has called for clearer rules and faster processes. Continue reading

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Minimizing Pain

FACES_English_Blue_no copyright info

As abuse victims, we will often minimize our pain.  We may downplay our pain out of fear, guilt, or a desperate need to believe that the parent/caregiver or partner who caused that pain “deep down” loves us.

This is a short-term coping mechanism, a way of assuring ourselves that we will survive the harm done to us.

It is, also, a way of minimizing the responsibility of those who inflicted that harm on us (and avoid or defer dealing with the anger and grief their betrayal caused us).

Denial v. Reality

Both the victims of childhood abuse and the victims of domestic abuse may employ this coping mechanism, sometimes despite clear evidence to the contrary [1].  A woman whose partner blackened her eyes and knocked her teeth out may, nonetheless, seek to assure concerned family members, “Really, it’s not so bad.”

The problem with this coping mechanism is that it does not address the abuse.  The victim denies the reality that he or she has been seriously harmed; may fail to obtain necessary medical treatment; and continues to remain in the abusive situation. Continue reading

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Children Molesting Children

Minneapolis SlutWalk Protesting Stigmatization of Victims of Sexual Assault (2011), Author Alan from Minneapolis, (CC Attribution 2.0 Generic)

A North Carolina couple are suing the Wake Forest Magnet Elementary School where they say their 6 y.o. son was sexually assaulted multiple times by a classmate, even after the abuse was reported to a teacher and the school’s principal [1].

We do not hear of the tragedy of child-on-child sexual abuse often.  But children do at times molest other children [2].

Force, Threats, and Trickery

Child-on-child sexual abuse is to be distinguished from the normal, anatomical curiosity of children.  It may involve physical force, threats, or trickery.  The victim may actually “cooperate” – not comprehending, by reason of his or her tender years, the nature of what is being done.

Child-on-child sexual abuse can, in fact, take place between siblings.  The victims of this type of incest may develop a distorted recollection of the violation (picturing, themselves, as the initiator or the sex acts as consensual, as a means of psychological self-protection).

Causes

A.  Sexual Abuse

Young children who engage in sexual abuse may, themselves, have been sexually abused [3A].

B.  Exposure to Sexual Activity 

They may repeatedly have witnessed the sexual activity of adults at an early age, and be attempting to imitate their elders [3B].  They may, for instance, live with adults (or teens) who act out sexually after drinking or taking drugs.  They may even live in a household where sexual services are bartered for rent or sold outright. 

C.  Exposure to Pornography

They may simply have been exposed to pornography, or confused and overwhelmed by the amount of sexual imagery on TV, in movies and videos, in video games, and on the internet [3C]. Continue reading

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Chocolate

Chocolate fudge cake, Urban Diner, Edmonton, Canada, Author Mack Male (CC BY-SA 2.0 Generic)

Chocolate is a pure delight.  But there is a bitter truth behind the sweet taste.  Child labor is heavily involved in cocoa product [1][2][3].

Multiple human rights organizations confirm that over 1.5 million children in West Africa work under hazardous conditions to produce cocoa.  Many of these children are the victims of forced labor, human trafficking, and modern slavery.  They are deprived of an education, and exposed to dangerous chemicals and equipment.

This exploitation is ongoing despite the public pledges made by major chocolate companies over the past 20 years to eliminate child labor from their supply chains.  Some of the most recognizable chocolate brands still associated with unethical practices include:  Hershey’s Chocolate; Nestle’s Chocolate (Kit Kat, Butterfinger); Mars Chocolate (M&M’s, Snickers, Twix); Ferrero (Nutella, Kinder); and Mondelez (Toblerone, Cadbury). Continue reading

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Good Tidings

“Nativity of Christ a/k/a Holy Night” by Antonio de Correggio (c. 1529-1530), Staatliche Kunstsammlungen (Accession No. Gal.-Nr. 152), Dresden, Source/Photographer Google Arts & Culture https://artsandculture.google.com/asset/7wGhio0LPVXb_g Hans Peter Klut/Elke Estel (PD)

Then the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.  For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.  And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger’” (Luke 2: 10-12).

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas!

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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Climbing Gear

Open crevasse, Tangra Mountains, Antarctica, Author Apcbg, (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

A chasm opens up again.  Depression yawns before us once more, sucking us in despite our best efforts.

It may be that something reminded us of our earlier trauma.  It may be that regret over an old loss or error in judgment morphed from sadness into despair.  Whatever the cause, as abuse victims we can suddenly find ourselves falling headlong into darkness. 

Consumed with self-loathing, we may feel achingly alone in a crowd, strangers in a strange land while at a local mall or familiar church service. 

The greetings, compliments, and good wishes of loved ones – however many, however sincere – are dismissed as undeserved.  Life loses its savor.  Even prayer seems stale.

Surprisingly, the skills and equipment necessary to alpine rescue have bearing on this.

Fatal Self-Isolation

Engulfed by depression, our instinct will likely be to self-isolate.  But this can be a fatal mistake, effectively putting us at risk of hypothermia from the cold of the mountain crevasse into which we have fallen. 

It can take a rescue team and specialized equipment to pull a climber who has fallen into such a crevasse back to safety.

Climbing Team

It is essential to remember that none of us really climbs the mountains of life alone.  We are all linked to others – to family, friends, roommates, neighbors, teachers, classmates, coaches, teammates, co-workers, health care providers, crisis hot lines, and God, Himself.  These are vital resources. Continue reading

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In Search of Greatness

Woodcut “Jesus Teaches Greatness” from “Die Bibel in Bildern” (“The Bible in Pictures”) by Julius Schnorr von Carolsfeld (1860), Source “Die Bibel in Bildern” (“The Bible in Pictures”), (PD) 

I dreamt last night of a frustrated young man, longing for meaning and purpose.  For greatness, as the world defines it.

But greatness is not defined by the billions garnered overnight for a clever idea at the right moment, or – more often, these days – a mirage sold to a public so hungry for something of substance it will swallow almost anything.  Greatness is not exemplified by Apple or Twitter or Lululemon, no matter how high their stock price.

Greatness is exemplified by the daily faithfulness of a good father working a menial job to put food on the table and shoes on his children’s feet, by the daily patience of a good mother homeschooling an autistic child for lack of a better alternative.

Greatness is not measured in moments.  It is measured across a lifetime.

Few of us are called to go out in a blaze of cinematic glory, applauded martyrs to a popular cause.  More are called to stand guard on lonely frontiers, to push boulders endlessly up impossible hills, our worth unrecognized and unsung.

God sees those efforts, nonetheless.  It is He who assigns their true value, not this deluded, transient world.  It is urgent our young people hear this from us.

But he who is greatest among you shall be your servant” (Matt. 23: 11).

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT:  https://alawyersprayers.com

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