“Jesus of the Stripped Loyalty with Green Tunic” (10th Station of the Cross), Source/Author Aendomekio3 (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)
We continue our examination of sins against the self to which abuse victims are prone [1].
Self-Pity/Self-Hatred/Self-Harm
We hate ourselves not only for the sins against us, but for the sins we have committed, and the mistakes we have made – sometimes wallowing in self-pity, sometimes consumed with self-contempt [2][3]. This manifests as a harshly self-critical inner dialog or continuous stream of negative thoughts. We may even contemplate self-harm [4].
Self-Reliance
In fleeing from a God we hold responsible for our abuse or believe abandoned us, we may choose extreme self-reliance [5]. This is a brittle defense which fails to take into account the fact that all we are, and all we have, is from God. Endurance, itself, is a form of His grace.
Suffering as a Gift
Whether we realize it or not, we are engaged in a lifelong spiritual battle. Not because we were once victimized, but because Satan wants all of us (abuse victims or not) to feel victimized for the rest of our lives. He wants us focused inward on ourselves and our wounds, rather than outward toward God and others.
That is not, however, God’s plan for us. Which is why He sent His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for us – for our sins, the whole long list. And to offer us instead an abundant life.
That is not a life guaranteed to be free from suffering. To the contrary, suffering can be a means of growing closer to God. Father Stuart Long, a disabled priest and former boxer, considered it a gift [6][7][8]:
“Every brawl I had was beating back at a world I thought had done me wrong. Yeah, every bruise on my face and every drop of blood I shed was proof of my war against God’s injustice.
I look worse now than I did then, that’s for sure. Difference is now I know my suffering’s a gift from God. Now, I know it sounds like bull. But it’s coming from a man in a wheelchair, so you got to entertain it. Hear me out.
All our outer nature’s wasting away. But or inner is being renewed everyday. This life, no matter how long it lasts, is a momentary affliction, preparing us for eternal glory. We shouldn’t pray for an easy life, but for the strength to endure a difficult one. Because the experience of suffering is the fullest expression of God’s love. It is a chance to be closer to Christ.”
–Father Stuart Long, as portrayed in the Sony Pictures biopic “Father Stu” [13]
The Apostle Paul put it this way:
“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me” (Gal. 2: 20).
—
[1] Wisdom Library, “The concept of sin against oneself in Christianity”, 2/26/25, https://www.wisdomlib.org/christianity/concept/sin-against-oneself.
[2] WebMD, “What Is Self-Loathing?” by Juliann Selemin (medically reviewed by Dr. Smitha Bhandari), 6/23/24, https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-self-loathing.
[3] Christianity, “Is It a Sin to Hate Myself? What Does the Bible Say?”, https://www.christianity.com/wiki/sin/is-it-a-sin-to-hate-myself-what-does-the-bible-say.html.
[4] Open Bible, “Self Harm”, https://www.openbible.info/topics/self_harm.
[5] Southside Baptist Church, “Spiritual Warfare and Sin: Self-sins — by AW Tozer”, 11/15/14, https://www.southside-cochran.org/blog/spiritual-warfare-and-sin-self-sins-by-aw-tozer.
[6] Wikipedia, “Stuart Long”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stuart_Long.
[7] Franciscan Magazine, “Father Stu” by Rick Becker, Summer 2022, https://magazine.franciscan.edu/articles/father-stu/.
[8] YouTube, “Father Stu: Montana Priest and Knight of Columbus”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZLIH-MwO2s.
[9] YouTube, “Father Stu – Official Trailer”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHREzAdyCPs.
Part 1 in this series was posted last week.
A jury verdict in the amount of $3 million was this week handed down in Los Angeles against Meta and Google (YouTube) for failure to warn viewers of the dangers of their platforms. At issue was the use of addictive algorithms.
A jury verdict in the amount of $375 million was handed down in Santa Fe against Meta for failure to protect children against online predators.
Across the country, Attorneys General have brought similar suits against Meta, TikTok, and other Tech Giants.
See, https://www.cnbc.com/2026/03/25/meta-youtube-los-angeles-california-verdict.html#:~:text=A%20jury%20in%20Los%20Angeles%20determined%20on%20Wednesday,could%20have%20repercussions%20across%20the%20social%20media%20landscape.?msockid=05447c7cad7268a1051a6aa6ac5f6947.
FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com
A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse and More 
There’s a lot of depth in this, especially the idea of suffering being reframed instead of just endured. That’s not an easy perspective, but you laid it out in a way that makes it worth thinking about. With the promise and help of Him, peace and healing are possible!
the idea of suffering being reframed instead of just endured, your comment and especially the line I started with reminded me of the phrase, God waste nothing. Most lessons that mature us are wrapped in suffering in some way. Information is great but to drive it home to take root in our hearts suffering will take it to root.
So powerful Anna! Rather than accepting “victimhood” as Satan wants us to do, we should remember that we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us! Romans 8:37
Your reflection Anna shows how complex the healing process really is. Such a powerful and heavy topic.
That last point about suffering as a gift is so important to think of biblically
This is a powerful piece Anna. Especially coming up to Easter 🙏
Thank you, Ravishank. I am glad it spoke to you.
Peace and prayers to you Anna 🙏
And to you, Ravishank. Have a blessed Easter!
❤️
“Because the experience of suffering is the fullest expression of God’s love. It is a chance to be closer to Christ.” This reminds me of Romas 5:3-5 — “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” God’s love. Suffering puts a magnifying glass on it for those of us who would be otherwise blind to it.