Medieval flagellants as pictured in Nuremberg Chronicle by Hartmann Schedel (1440-1514) (PD)
As abuse victims, we are, for the most part, more sinned against than sinning. Abuse leaves a devastating scar across our lives. About that there is no doubt.
That does not, however, mean we do not sin, ourselves. Many of our own sins are against the self, a direct result of the abuse we suffered [1][2]. And God loves us so much He wants better for us than that.
Low Self-Esteem
Believing ourselves worthless, we treat ourselves that way. We view any kindness toward ourselves as undeserved, and turn aside those who would love us (sometimes causing unintended pain to others, in the process).
Disordered Sexuality
In a desperate effort to find the love we were denied, we seek it in all the wrong places. Far too often, we are drawn to partners who re-enact the abuse so familiar to us. Or we settle for less than we deserve, giving ourselves away to any comers, rather than respecting our own bodies.
A few of us take the other direction, and forego the sexuality with which God endowed us or reject the gender God assigned us. That is no wiser, though it may temporarily feel safer.
We may assume this does not grieve God, but it does [3]. He suffers with us, and weeps for us.
Self-Anger
Our rage against our abuser and the lack of justice in the world is either turned inward against ourselves (becoming depression), or turned on others who had nothing to do with our abuse (sometimes innocent family members). Either way, our anger does no good, and we go deeper into darkness [4].
Self-Punishment
Believing we were to blame for the abuse, we punish ourselves. In an effort to numb our pain, we pursue self-destructive substances like drugs or alcohol, and/or self-destructive activities like eating disorders or cutting we know are harmful to us and those around us [5].
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[1] Wisdom Library, “The concept of sin against oneself in Christianity”, 2/26/25, https://www.wisdomlib.org/christianity/concept/sin-against-oneself.
[2] Bible Hub, “What is sinning against your own body?”, https://biblehub.com/q/what_is_sinning_against_your_own_body.htm.
[3] Got Questions?, “Why is sexual immorality described as sin against your own body (1 Corinthians 6: 18)?”, https://www.gotquestions.org/sin-against-your-own-body.html.
[4] Redefine Your Edge, “Self-directed anger can be more harmful than other forms of anger” by Martine Barclay, 5/16/23, https://www.redefineyouredge.com/self-directed-anger-can-be-more-harmful-than-other-forms-of-anger/.
[5] Mayo Clinic, “Self-injury/cutting”, https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/self-injury/symptoms-causes/syc-20350950.
This series will conclude next week.
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A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse and More 
Prayers for those that struggle with the tragic consequences of such terrible actions and abuse. Nobody should have to endure that.
Yes, well said, Anna.
Thank you, Gabrielle.
I am always glad when I stop by your site because you write my heart and the things I need to read and be reminded of. I have been in therapy for almost two years now and it is the best thing I have ever done for myself, that and get a massage once a month. My eyes and heart have been opened to what I need to work on instead of wasting my time on the one who hurt me. My anxiety and PDSD are easier to understand and cope with then never before. The peace understanding brings is a deep peace. Yet I am still in the battle as everyone is for my mind which drives my mouth and actions. I no longer beg for the battle to end because of the understanding I have gained on the one who loves me unconditionally, sweet Jesus. Thank you for this post, thank you. Betty
I grieve for your suffering, Betty, and for the suffering of all abuse victims. I cannot tell you how much it means to me that this blog has been of some small help to you. You are in my prayers. ❤
An after thought: One of the biggest freedoms I have gained is not letting self anger reside in me. Yes, it comes in a flash but I know what it is and how destructive it can be. Again, thank you
Sending you, Anna, and everyone affected kindness and strength. 💛
I can’t stop thinking about the sandals in that Nuremberg Chronicle illustration—like, all this profound suffering and theology and I’m over here wondering who among the flagellants said, “yes, today I lace up the good pair for public atonement,” because those straps look suspiciously supportive for a medieval crisis.
This is difficult to read, but honest and true
It’s true that survivors survive in spite of themselves as well as their abusers. Survival. We were made for more than that. We were created as all were for abundant life and for us all that is only in Christ Jesus. Anna, how blessed we are to have Him. “Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.” (Col. 2:7)