Mattress

Discarded mattress near trash bin, Author Eric Fischer
(Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic) 

Though women are encouraged to be sexually active in our culture, they are not always treated kindly when they take that advice.

Mattress

A sexually available girl who has many partners.

Mattress Back

A girl who has sex so often, whether with the same partner (nympho) or many different ones (slut), that her back seems to be constantly on a mattress.

-Urban Dictionary

Child victims of sexual abuse must negotiate this terrain with care. The emotional scars they carry do not make that an easy task.

Some women abused in childhood will seek as adults to reclaim their bodies by initiating frequent, anonymous sex. For them, sex is an attempt at self-affirmation. But no amount of it will fill the void left behind by abuse [1].

Tragically, a great many prostitutes fall into this category [2]. Drug use to dull the pain is common in the sex trade [3].

Other women will engage in sex (often with many partners) in a desperate search for love. These are the girls passed from boy to boy in high school; the women who settle for one night stands, since nothing else is being offered.

A smaller number of abuse victims will, consciously or not, avoid sex. They may be drawn to unavailable partners. Some will find their way to the so called “men’s clubs”, i.e. strip joints where they can elicit the desire of men but remain detached.

None of this behavior is irrational or “crazy”. It flows directly from the abuse to which victims were subjected.

We did not ask that these wounds be inflicted on us. We did nothing to provoke the predators – often family members – who preyed upon us. We have no reason to be ashamed.

Try stuffing a mattress into a suitcase. There is nothing wrong with the mattress. The mistake lies in the assumption it should fit into a suitcase.

The scars of abuse are too grave; they will not stay hidden. We no longer have the option of living a cookie cutter life.

But we are of infinitely more value than we were led to believe.
—

[1] The philosopher Blaise Pascal said, “There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus.”

[2] It is worth noting that the prostitute, Rahab (Joshua 2) is documented in Scripture as included in the geneology of Christ (Matt. 1: 5).

[3] The women and children trafficked are treated as mere commodities by their captors, disposable property.  Frequently, victims of trafficking will become numb to sex, and despondent at having so little control over their lives. Some will try to escape or commit suicide. Others will die as the result of illness, violence, and inhumane conditions.

Originally posted 5/17/15

“Frigid” is the companion piece to this.

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