Returning to Toxic Relationships, Part 3

“Healing of the Blind Man” by AN Mironov (2009), Author Andrey Mironov (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

“…He [Christ] spat on the ground and made clay with the saliva; and He anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay.  And He said to him, ‘Go, wash in the pool of Siloam’…So he went and washed, and came back seeing” (John 9: 6-7).

The miracle of the blind man is recorded in the Bible to teach us that infirmity is not necessarily the consequence of sin.

Certainly, as the victims of child abuse, we did not, ourselves, sin.  Trauma, however, lefts its mark on us.  Among its scars is the tendency we have to seek out and return to dysfunctional relationships.

What Christ’s love does for abuse victims is heal (or reduce) those scars, and cause the scales to fall from our eyes.  We can see the world more clearly, undistorted by the lies we were told by predators about the nature of love and our own supposed lack of value.

Christ’ love for victims is tender.  “A bruised reed He will not break…” (Isaiah 42: 3).  Rather than inflict pain on us, He grieves over the pain we have endured.  That tenderness restores our self-worth, eliminating the need we feel to return to toxic relationships, and making us again whole.



Filed under Child Abuse, Christianity, domestic abuse, domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, Neglect, Physical Abuse, Religion, Sexual Abuse, Violence Against Women

14 responses to “Returning to Toxic Relationships, Part 3

  1. This helps. Thank you.

  2. Beautifully put and so true Jesus is a power of strength and love.

  3. The Isaiah passage is one I hold onto all the time.

  4. True Anna! God loving people have miraculous power to fight all the odds of life.May God give us such endurance ❤️❤️

  5. Great post Anna..
    I wish there were more counseling centers and support groups sharing the key to healing..

  6. DearAnna,
    Thank you for this insightful post. I am happy that you pointed out that love and tenderness are the restorative mechanism that bring victims of abuse back to healing.. The problem is usually finding such love and not falling prey for another “toxic relationship”, as you rightly put it. It is in knowing when to open up and when to close up. This shows why healing can be tricky sometimes.
    Love and blessings to you! ❤

    • Finding true love is never easy, even in fairy tales. The trouble is not just w/ victims. We may have difficulty identifying a wholesome and healing love. Unfortunately, there are far too many disturbed individuals out there ready to inflict further damage on us. This is not reason enough to avoid love. We must though be cautious about giving our hearts away. We must ask ourselves whether we are growing or withering in a relationship. Most victims feel so inadequate, this never occurs to them. Love and blessings, Gbolabo! ❤

  7. Thank you for being as empathetic as you are.
    I often find myself coming to this blog as it comforts me in a strange way.
    It is true, love is a powerful, although sometimes elusive, antidote to the scars brought about by hatred.
    Do keep up your lovely work ❤.

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