“Face of Christ” by Claude Mellan (1649), Rijksmuseum Amsterdam (PD)
Abuse frequently destroys the faith of victims, undermining our capacity to trust. While we may reject God or despise Him, He loves and values us. It can be difficult for us to reconcile God’s love with our experience. But that love is real.
Let me try and explain what I mean.
Self-Worth and the Cross
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3: 16).
As abuse victims, we were taught at an early age that we were worthless. Our needs were insignificant. Our feelings did not matter. Our bodies were not our own.
These were the inferences we drew from our experience with those who rightly should have loved and cared for us. God, however, sees things differently. To Him, we are of infinite value. He proved it by giving His Son, Jesus Christ over to a death on the cross for our sakes.
Our value is not governed by a predator’s opinion of us. It was established for all time at the cross. No one need add to it. No one can detract from it.
God’s Unconditional Love
“Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies” (Ps. 36: 5).
God’s love for abuse victims is limitless and unconditional. The concept of unconditional love may be foreign to us. We were taught that love was unreliable. It had to be earned, over and over again. Most of us paid a high price for a counterfeit version of love.
Sin and Our Relationship to God
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus…For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death” (Rom. 8: 1-2).
God’s love is not withdrawn when we make mistakes or fall short. We grieve His heart at such times, but He does not turn away from or reject us. We are His beloved children. Even when our relationship with Him is rocky, He continues to love us immeasurably.
Fear of Rejection and Failure
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4: 18).
The scars of abuse frequently include fear. That may manifest as a fear of rejection and/or a fear of failure. But our worth is not determined by other human beings; it is not dependent on our productivity or status.
Our worth is actually separate from our function. For abuse victims, this means that we are fully loved and accepted by God, but all have different assignments in life. The piccolo is no less important to the orchestra than the tuba.
People pleasing is unnecessary. We may even get to the point where we recognize it as an obstacle to a closer relationship with God.
Our True Selves
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11: 28).
Lies accumulate in any area of our lives that we do not turn over to God. We may believe that we are undeserving of love; that we have been irreparably damaged; that we will never find happiness. But those are lies we absorbed, along with the abuse we endured.
“The more we enter into His rest, the more we are truly free to be who we were designed to be…[We are] home in Him.”
-David Murry, “The Mind of Christ”
Feelings of worthlessness and self-hatred have no place.
God’s Tenderness toward Abuse Victims
“A bruised reed He will not break And a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish; He will faithfully bring forth justice” (Isaiah 42: 3).
God understands better than anyone else our suffering. He was there when we were beaten, ignored, violated, and betrayed. He caught every tear we shed.
God asks us to allow Him into our lives, broken and bloody though we may be. His love heals and ultimately transforms us.
“Choose to accept what His Word says about how lovely He sees His children. We are accepted in the Beloved. We are beautiful in His sight.”
-David Murry, “The Mind of Christ”
This study was inspired by the book “The Mind of Christ” by David Murry. David blogs at Zeal for Your House https://dwmurry.wordpress.com. A full review of his book can be found on A Lawyer’s Prayers https://alawyersprayers.com.
FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com
ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse 
It is very True Anna what you shared…..”God understands better than anyone else our suffering. He was there when we were beaten, ignored, violated and betrayed. He caught every tear we shed.”
God won’t force us to Love and Trust Him it will always be our choice He does not want Puppets but as you shared Anna some are afraid of Him and this is because of Satan’s lies. They believe that God does or willingly allows the evil that we encounter in Life for good but it is slander even to say this about Believers. (Romans 3:8)
Can we really Trust someone who we believe will deliberately hurt us or allow us to be hurt? it grieves God greatly to see us suffer as it grieved Him to see His beloved Son, Jesus our Lord and Saviour tortured and die to Redeem us but they Loved us so much and it was the only way.
Lamentations 3: 33 “For God doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the Children of Men.”
Some ask than why does He not stop our suffering but if He was to stop all evil now He would have to end the World like He did in Noah’s time and some of His own would be lost, He knows the right time and it is close.
When Jesus returns we will be taken out of the World and than without the Holy Spirit those that are left will be destroyed by their own evil motivated by Satan whom they will worship through the Beast after choosing to have his mark and rejecting The Godhead. It is not God’s will anyone perishes it’s their choice to Trust and obey or go their own way.
Romans 8:1-5 “There is therefore now no Condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of Sin and death. For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh God sending His own Son in the likeness of Sinful flesh and for Sin, condemned Sin in the flesh that the Righteousness of the Law might be fulfilled in us who walk not after the flesh but after the Spirit. For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit..(KJV)”
Yes Anna as we know we have a responsibility to choose to do as God’s asks but we don’t do so in our own strength He empowers us as we Ask, Seek and Knock.(KJV)
Romans 6 :1- 2 “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in Sin that Grace may abound? God forbid how shall we that are dead to Sin live any longer therein? (KJV)”
1 John 3:6 -7 “Whosoever abideth in Him Sinneth not: whosoever Sinneth hath not seen Him neither known Him. Little Children let no Man deceive you, he that doeth Righteousness is Righteous even as He is Righteous. (KJV)”
Romans 8 :12-15 “Therefore brothers we have an obligation but it is not to the Sinful nature to live according to it or if you live according to the Sinful nature you will die but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body you will live because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. (KJV)”
Christian Love Always – Anne.
You express it very well, Anne. Thank you for sourcing the Bible quotes.
With love,
A. ❤
Such a beautiful heart…such a generous spirit…you are a light that touches so many in need…thank you for sharing this blessing 🙂
You are very kind. I’m glad the post touched a chord with you. I give David the credit. ❤
thank you for great sharing dear Anna
Have a very nice day
Kisses
And to you, Voulaah. 🙂 ❤
You would think that it would be easy to accept love by virtue of what it is, but sometimes it can be the hardest thing to do, especially when through abuse one has been conditioned to feel comfortable with feeling pain and accepting it as the norm. To turn from that is a huge battle, but thankfully God reaches out and helps us in our pain and confusion. We can never be reminded too much of how much God loves us and so I thank you Anna and David for continually doing this. Just as abuse at one time was all we knew, I hope that through your words, God’s love for us is all that we will come to know.
You are so right about the difficulty victims have accepting love. It is something I continue to struggle with, myself. I join in your prayer that our words — yours, mine, and David’s — may in some small way help victims toward a recognition of God’s great love. ❤
I say ‘Amen’ to that prayer! 🙂 ❤
Anna,
Thank you for the concise and pointed way you taught on this. I was really blessed by your insights and am so grateful for what He has taught me through your teachings and experience. This blessed me to tears.. truly.
I can see and feel His heart thru you.
I am honored to be used in *any* way that will point others to his heart and above all His power to heal His children.
And yes, Marie~ and amen- the cry of our hearts and prayers in unison to release His healing to all who will allow to heal… and to those too scared or wounded.. that we may know the power of His tenderness and goodness and have the courage to lay hold of that which takes hold of us: His LOVE.
“A broken reed He will not break…”
As Dad so often reminds me “we are all in this together”
Your brother,
David
You give me too much credit, David. It was your book which prompted this study, after all. 🙂 The post was simply my attempt to share what I have learned about God with others.
I’d like to make a small request. Would you avoid using the term “Dad” for God on this website, please? I realize that Christ, Himself, taught us that we could call God “Our Father” (Luke 11:2). I know that the Aramaic word He used was “Abba”, a term signifying the close relationship between a good father and his children.
Not all my readers, however, are Christian. They do not understand this context without some explanation. The term can, therefore, be off-putting (the very opposite of your intention).
It can, also, be painful to incest survivors, of which I am one. Though I view my relationship with God as having superseded the difficult relationship with my earthly father (and though I have — insofar as possible — forgiven my father), I wince whenever the term “Dad” or “Daddy” is used in this way.
El-Roi (The God Who Sees Me), Jehovah-Raah (The Lord My Shepherd), Jehovah Rapha (The Lord that Heals), Jehovah Shammah (The Lord Is There), Jehovah Jireh (The Lord Will Provide), and Jehovah Shalom (The Lord Is Peace) convey aspects of God’s protective and healing character which — for me, at any rate — have less of a negative connotation.
Please, do not be distressed by this request, David. It is no reflection on you. Christians certainly should teach on the fatherhood of God. I thought, however, it was worth mentioning, as you are planning a new book geared toward abuse survivors.
You have a tender heart, David. I feel God’s heart through you, just as you — astoundingly — say of me. I am always encouraged by you, and grateful to know we are “in the trenches” together.
Your sister,
A.
Oh my, Anna…forgive me and yes of course. I am always trying to be sensitive and circumspect, and as all can see, I still have much room to grow. I do thank the Lord for His never-ending patience with me…again my apologies.
And, yes “together” indeed!
Your brother in Him,
David
This is an amazing post for everyone who has been redeemed. I love how you showed us that our value is not governed by a other’s opinion of us. People change and their opinions change all the time. One day they are praising us. Another day they are downgrading us or degrading our value. Our self worth is determined by the price with which we were bought- the price paid on the cross. What happened to us, what people do to us or what they think of us does not determine our self worth. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. Whatever happened to us is not who we are. The past is not a death sentence. It is an experience. Thank you for sharing this inspiring post.
I’m grateful that this post touched a chord with you. The struggle over self-worth was resolved at the cross. But for many abuse victims it is ongoing. Our difficult life experiences and the materialistic culture in which we live shout so loud, they can drown out the truth. Christ alone is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14: 6). Whatever the storms around us, we must cling to Him. Bless you.
Reblogged this on Anchor Thy Soul and commented:
Beautiful In His Sight By: A Voice Reclaimed
Well said, Anna. Thanks for sharing.
Many thanks, Benj.
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