“Garden of Deception” by Andrew Blucha (2022), Courtesy of https://www.reddit.com/r/ImaginaryHorrors/comments/uyxcoo/the_garden_of_deception_andrew_blucha_2022/
Grooming refers to the deliberate process by which an abuser builds a relationship with a child for the purpose of manipulating, exploiting, and abusing that child [1A][2A]. It involves gaining the victim’s trust over time while desensitizing the child to abusive behaviors, so that the child is less likely to reject them and report the abuser to authorities.
Significantly, grooming can take place both in person and online. It can take place at home, at school, in clubs, on teams, in religious settings, and elsewhere [2B]. Online, it can involve social media (Instagram, Tik Tok, Snapchat, etc.) or gaming platforms (PlayStation Network, Xbox Live, Discord, etc.) [2C].
Dynamic
Grooming is the result of a power differential within the relationship, which the abuser uses for his/her own gratification [1B]. Authority can create such a differential, for instance, where the abuser is a teacher, coach, or physician. But age, itself, can create a power differential.
Most caring adults will be sensitive to the fact children are easily influenced. Predators, by contrast, use this vulnerability to their advantage, coupling it with appropriately tailored lies. “This is how all Daddies teach their little girls about sex.” “This will make Uncle Frank very happy. You want to make him happy, don’t you?” “This is what big boys do.”
Grooming Situations
Grooming is most commonly employed in cases of child sexual abuse. Even adults, however, can be groomed [1C]. That may be the case where the abuser is a family “friend” (a charming predator with whom parents are led to believe their child will be safe), or where an adult victim comes under the sway of a narcissistic partner [3][4].
Children old enough to flee physical or sexual abuse at home will find it brutally hard to live on the streets. Not surprisingly, they, too, are susceptible to grooming which is precisely why pimps and sex traffickers rely on the tactic. A homeless young person offered “free” room and board will find it difficult to refuse sex in exchange. Continue reading
ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse and More 