Category Archives: Child Abuse

Children of the Damned

File:Views around the old city of Mosul in 2019 during the summer, following war with the Islamic State 29.jpg

View of Mosul in 2019, following war with ISIS, Author Levi Clancy (CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication)

In 27 prison camps and detention centers across Syria, some 50,000 of the most dangerous ISIS members and their families are being held indefinitely.  CNN was recently accorded rare access, and found these locations a spawning ground for ISIS [1].

Five years after the caliphate was defeated, the ISIS ideology lives on here.

Though ISIS is known for rape and brutality toward women, the women who defected to ISIS came from over 60 countries.  They complain of the conditions in these camps, but radiate hostility toward the outside world and continue to profess loyalty to ISIS.

Unauthorized training sessions are conducted to prepare child soldiers for conflict.  Young boys are married off to produce the next generation of ISIS fighters.  Some 60 births occur each month.

In an effort to counter this, the Syrian Democratic Forces (SDF) remove adolescent boys from their families, so that they are not further radicalized by their mothers.

Conditions in the SDF rehabilitation centers are somewhat better.  But the number of beds there is limited.

Condemned from Birth

These are children of the damned — condemned from birth to lives constrained by their parents’ choices.

Unlike the children in a 60’s science fiction film by the same name, they are not harbingers of peace [2].  Not only are they confined to detention camps by no fault of their own.  They are fed hate with their mother’s milk, and raised on a diet of lies.

Statements of moral superiority and contempt for others form the basis of the ISIS ideology [3].  Religious reasoning is used to justify criminal actions.  Violent behavior is normalized.  Personal grievances are blamed on others.

And so blood begets blood (Ezek.35: 6; Matt. 26: 52).

Continue reading

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Surviving Child Abuse, Part 2 – Coping Strategies

File:Arizona Wildflowers (47287023152).jpg

Wildflowers, Peridot Mesa, AZ, Source Arizona Wildflowers, Author Alan Stark of Goodyear, AZ (CC BY-SA 2.0 Generic)

Denying or shutting down feelings — emotions, pains, etc. — usually blocks people’s energy or blinds them to important warnings [1].”

The instinctive coping mechanisms for child abuse are repression, denial, and dissociation [2].  These survival mechanisms protect us against the painful truth of the abuse, but tend to maintain the abuse secret.   They are, in the long run, maladaptive.

Therapy, Loving Friends, Self-Care, and Stress Reduction

While there is no single approach proven to be universally successful, there are helpful coping strategies for dealing with the long-term effects of childhood abuse [3A][4A].

These include cognitive behavioral therapy; the support of loving friends and family members; a healthy daily routine of self-care; and stress reduction activities like mindfulness, exercise, and prayer [3B][4B][5][6A].

Supportive and trusting relationships allow us to explore and express our feelings in a safe setting.

Medication can, at times, be useful, as well.

Creativity (Self-Expression)

Creativity is another outlet for expressing our feelings .  We may blog or keep a journal, snap photos, take up amateur dramatics, draw, paint, sculpt, learn to throw pottery or arrange flowers [7][8].  It makes no difference.

Nor does it make a difference whether our efforts meet some ideal standard or not.  The act of self-expression can help us expel the poison and reclaim our joy.

Music

Music touches the soul in ways that words alone cannot [9].  We can experience the positive effect music has whether we compose, play an instrument, dance, sing, or simply listen to music.

Continue reading

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Surviving Child Abuse, Part 1 -Impact

File:Child abuse awareness ribbon.jpg

Blue Ribbon for Child Abuse Awareness, Source flickr.com, Author Trauma And Dissociation Project (CC BY-SA 2.0 Generic)

Childhood abuse — whatever form it may take, including exposure to family violence — can have long-term effects ranging from anxiety, depression, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), to eating disorders and more [1A][2A][3A].

Shame and Suicide Risk

Our self-esteem is in tatters.  The shame, itself, can be crippling — no matter how misplaced [4].  The risk of suicide is greatly increased [5A].

Physiological Effects

But not all effects are so obvious.  Child abuse is, for instance, thought to contribute to such chronic health issues as heart disease, as well as such autoimmune disorders as type 1 diabetes, psoriasis, fibromyalgia, inflammatory bowel disease, and rheumatoid arthritis [1B][2B][5B]. Continue reading

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Runaways

Each year over 400,000 children under the age of 18 are reported missing [1A].  The vast majority of these are runaways, highly vulnerable to homelessness, sex trafficking, and worse.

Though estimates vary, there may be as many as 2.8 million runaway and homeless youth in the US [2A].

“Half of all runaway minors report that their parents told them to leave or knew they were running away and did not care [3].”

“Runaways” are minors who have left home with the intention not to return.  The category includes children abandoned by the adults who should have cared for them, and teens thrown out of the house.

Risk Factors

According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, risk factors include the following [1B]:

  • Family conflict
  • Physical or sexual abuse
  • Pregnancy
  • Bullying or social rejection
  • Sexual orientation
  • Online enticement
  • Substance abuse
  • Gang activity
  • Mental health issues
  • Developmental issues

Some 47% of runaways report family conflict; 43% report physical abuse in the home; 34% report sexual abuse in the home.  Among girls, the rate of sexual abuse rises to 80%. Continue reading

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Twitter and the Mainstreaming of Porn

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0c/Bronze_Satyr_with_Phallus%2C_Naples_Archaeological_Museum.jpg
Satyr with phallus, Naples Archaeological Museum, Italy, Source https://www.flickr.com, Author Tyler Bell (Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic)

Pornography – printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings.

–Oxford Dictionary

X, the social media platform f/k/a Twitter, has formally changed its policy to allow so called “adult” content [1].

Actually, Twitter has long tolerated adult content, i.e. pornography and graphic violence.  Reuters reported two years ago that made up fully 13% of the platform’s content [2].

This change is purportedly meant to make the platform’s rules more transparent.  In reality, it is intended to attract more users by attracting more content “creators” (a term which now includes pornographers).

Porn as an Industry

Tragically, X is not alone in mainstreaming the sexual exploitation of women and children.  Once a relatively small niche market, pornography has in recent years become an established, technologically sophisticated, multi‐billion‐dollar industry [3].

The pornography industry is closely related to organized crime, since child pornography is illegal in many countries [4A].  The crimes associated with it can include kidnapping, sexual assault, and murder.

But home video equipment and computers have greatly assisted pedophiles in the production and distribution of child pornography.

A Shift in Values

The growth and acceptance of the pornography industry reflect a serious crisis of values [5].

It used to be that individuals purchasing obscene or salacious material were embarrassed at being seen with it.  No more.  Standards of decency have been radically revised.  Pornography has been normalized, and is discussed openly. Continue reading

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BOOK REVIEW: One Petal at a Time

Joni Caggiano who blogs at https://the-inner-child.com/ has written a sensitive and uplifting book of poetry about childhood abuse.

Like 28 million other Americans, Joni is the survivor of parental alcoholism and all that entails [1][2].  Her book is directed to survivors of any form of familial dysfunction.

Titled One Petal at a Time, the book is illustrated by the acclaimed artist Francisco Bravo Cabrera https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbXMBr3Xnic and divided into three parts:  The Beginning, Seedling, and Blooming.  Each part is introduced by a moving essay. Continue reading

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Rolling Dough

File:Loaf of sourdough bread cooling.jpg
Sourdough bread, Source https://www.flickr.com (CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication)

In a world where abuse of every kind is far too common and life, itself, often has little value this story of love and compassion stands out.

Brooke and Chris Vaughan of Lubbock, TX are attempting to raise $7000 for the purchase of a postural support seat for their disabled son, Maverick [1A].  The 20 month year old suffers from lissencephaly, a rare brain condition which occurs in 1 of 100,000 infants causing developmental delays, seizures, and other health issues [2].

The couple have been denied coverage for this equipment by their insurance carrier, though the boy’s neurologists, physical therapists, occupational therapist, and speech therapists have all advocated for its use. Continue reading

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Celebrity Predation

File:Spacey Star.jpg

Kevin Spacey’s star on Hollywood Walk of Fame, Author Mike Crawley of Southampton, UK (CC Attribution 2.0 Generic)

Actor Kevin Spacey — the star of such acclaimed films as LA Confidential, The Usual Suspects, Glengary Glenn Ross, Seven, and Pay It Forward — is not the first celebrity to be accused of sexual assault.

Combs Lawsuits

Five separate lawsuits covering a period of 30 years have been brought by male and female victims (some of them teens) against the rapper and record producer, Sean “Diddy” Combs, for alleged sexual assault, rape, and sex trafficking [1].

Like Spacey, Combs denies the allegations against him.  However, a disturbing 2016 video on YouTube shows him physically assaulting the R&B singer, Cassie Ventura, whose case was settled in 2023 [2].

Spacey Acquittals

Spacey, it should be noted, was the same year acquitted in Britain of sexual assault relative to his interaction with four different men between 2001 and 2013 [3].  A New York jury earlier acquitted Spacey of molesting then 14 y.o. Anthony Rapp in 1986 [4].

More Spacey Accusers

“I take full responsibility for my past behavior and my actions, but I cannot and will not take responsibility or apologize to anyone who’s made up stuff about me or exaggerated stories about me…I never told someone that if they give me sexual favors, then I will help them out with their career, never.”

–Kevin Spacey [5]

A 2-part documentary on YouTube now features ten more men who claim to have been sexually assaulted by Spacey between 1976 and 2013 [6][7].  The stories by these men are nauseatingly familiar, reflecting an abuse of power as much as sexual predation.  Continue reading

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BOOK REVIEW: Yeshiva Girl

Set in a Jewish household and written in the first person, Yeshiva Girl by Rachel Mankowitz is a novel on the difficult topic of incest.  It is well worth the read.

The book’s main character, Isabel, is a 15 y.o. girl grappling with the range of emotions the trauma of her father’s sexual advances produced in her.  Not surprisingly, the sexual abuse and family dysfunction profoundly impact her sense of self-worth.

Rachel tells this poignant story in a simple, straightforward manner.  We experience Isabel’s isolation, her confusion and inner turmoil.  We come to know her sorrows, anxieties, and disappointments.  We feel her suppressed rage.

What distinguishes this book is the author’s examination through Isabel’s eyes of the place of religion in sexual abuse.  Isabel’s father professes to be an observant Jew, yet clearly feels no compunction about molesting her.  Her mother and grandmother have not rescued her. Continue reading

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Child Abuse Myths

File:Guardian ad Litem advocates for children 120514-M-SB340-277.jpg

Planting blue pinwheels during Onslow Memorial Hospital’s Guardian ad Litem Ceremony (2012), Source https://www.dvidshub.net/image/579653, Author Lance Cpl. Martin Egnash on behalf of Marine Corps (PD as work product of federal govt.)

The blue pinwheel is a nationwide symbol for child abuse, and April is Child Abuse Awareness Month.  The following myths about child abuse, however, persist [1][2].

Myth #1 Child Abuse Is Rare

Because child abuse is underreported, it is difficult to obtain precise figures.  Estimates are that 1 in 7 children in the United States experience emotional, physical, and/or sexual abuse or neglect.  Over 600,000 children are abused each year [3A].  Around 1,820 children died of abuse and neglect in 2020 [3B].

Myth #2 Child Abuse Is Confined to the Lower Economic Classes

Child abuse transcends race, economic status, and geography.  It has been present in every age and every society.

Myth #3 Predators Are Strangers

We imagine the menacing stranger in a raincoat.  But about 90% of sexual abuse victims know their abuser.

Across all types of abuse, about 91% of victims are maltreated by one or both parents.  Other perpetrators include relatives, foster parents, neighbors, and daycare workers.

Myth #4 Perpetrators Are Mentally Ill

While some abusers may have mental health issues such as depression, most abusive parents are not mentally ill.

Though pedophilia is still considered a psychiatric disorder, sexual predation in not excused by reason of diminished capacity on the part of pedophiles.  To the contrary, some psychiatrists now argue that pedophilia is merely a form of sexual orientation [4].

This blurs the line between illness and evil, a dangerous step toward normalizing pedophilia.

Myth #5 Children Provoke Abuse

This is blatantly false.  No amount of bad behavior on a child’s part justifies abuse.

Myth #6 Sexual Abuse Is the Most Common Form

Of the over three million cases of alleged child abuse investigated in 2017, 74.9% actually involved neglect.  Neglect is found most among infants and young children.  Caregivers fail to meet the child’s basic needs for food, clothing, shelter, social interaction, safety/supervision, healthcare, and education.

Myth #7 Emotional Abuse and Neglect Are Less Serious

Emotional abuse is associated with severe and long-lasting psychological/behavioral/developmental/physical issues.  But all forms of abuse include an emotional component.  While physical abuse may result in more obvious signs of maltreatment, the importance of caring for a child’s emotional well-being cannot be overemphasized.

Myth #8 A Young Child Will Have No Memory of Abuse

This is a rationalization predators often employ.  It is not, however, true.  Although young children may not be able to express the trauma they experience verbally, they are likely to recall that trauma and express it in other ways.  Repressed memories of childhood trauma can, also, resurface in adulthood.

Myth #8  Children Often Lie about Abuse

Less than 10% of allegations of sexual abuse by children and teens are false. Continue reading

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