Monthly Archives: May 2024

May 26, 2024 · 1:00 am

Rape as a Weapon II

WARNING: Graphic Images

“‘Neighbourhoods and homes were continuously attacked, looted, burned and destroyed,’ especially those where Masalit and other African communities lived, and their people were harassed, assaulted, sexually abused, and at times, executed [1A].”

The United Nations confirms that rape is being used as a weapon against women and girls in the Sudanese civil war [1B][2A].

NGOs describe rape as an everyday occurrence, with both warring parties participating, and numbers estimated as high as 4,400 during this latest conflict [2B].  But civil war has been ongoing in Sudan (in three stages) since 1955, and rape has been employed from the outset [3].

“…systemic rape in homes, detention facilities, public checkpoints, and interrogation centres…committed mainly by members of the police force, intelligence officers, interrogators and prison guards…[including] forced nudity, [punitive] virginity test, and sexual torture [4A].”

This tactic is not new.  We have seen it used in Iraq; Rwanda; Syria, Egypt, Libya, and elsewhere in the Middle East during the Arab Spring; in India; and most recently against Israel [4B][5][6][7A][8][9].  In Rwanda, between 100,000 and 250,000 women were raped during the three months of genocide. Continue reading →

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May 19, 2024 · 1:00 am

Celebrity Predation

File:Spacey Star.jpg

Kevin Spacey’s star on Hollywood Walk of Fame, Author Mike Crawley of Southampton, UK (CC Attribution 2.0 Generic)

Actor Kevin Spacey — the star of such acclaimed films as LA Confidential, The Usual Suspects, Glengary Glenn Ross, Seven, and Pay It Forward — is not the first celebrity to be accused of sexual assault.

Combs Lawsuits

Five separate lawsuits covering a period of 30 years have been brought by male and female victims (some of them teens) against the rapper and record producer, Sean “Diddy” Combs, for alleged sexual assault, rape, and sex trafficking [1].

Like Spacey, Combs denies the allegations against him.  However, a disturbing 2016 video on YouTube shows him physically assaulting the R&B singer, Cassie Ventura, whose case was settled in 2023 [2].

Spacey Acquittals

Spacey, it should be noted, was the same year acquitted in Britain of sexual assault relative to his interaction with four different men between 2001 and 2013 [3].  A New York jury earlier acquitted Spacey of molesting then 14 y.o. Anthony Rapp in 1986 [4].

More Spacey Accusers

“I take full responsibility for my past behavior and my actions, but I cannot and will not take responsibility or apologize to anyone who’s made up stuff about me or exaggerated stories about me…I never told someone that if they give me sexual favors, then I will help them out with their career, never.”

–Kevin Spacey [5]

A 2-part documentary on YouTube now features ten more men who claim to have been sexually assaulted by Spacey between 1976 and 2013 [6][7].  The stories by these men are nauseatingly familiar, reflecting an abuse of power as much as sexual predation.  Continue reading →

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May 12, 2024 · 1:00 am

BOOK REVIEW: Yeshiva Girl

Set in a Jewish household and written in the first person, Yeshiva Girl by Rachel Mankowitz is a novel on the difficult topic of incest.  It is well worth the read.

The book’s main character, Isabel, is a 15 y.o. girl grappling with the range of emotions the trauma of her father’s sexual advances produced in her.  Not surprisingly, the sexual abuse and family dysfunction profoundly impact her sense of self-worth.

Rachel tells this poignant story in a simple, straightforward manner.  We experience Isabel’s isolation, her confusion and inner turmoil.  We come to know her sorrows, anxieties, and disappointments.  We feel her suppressed rage.

What distinguishes this book is the author’s examination through Isabel’s eyes of the place of religion in sexual abuse.  Isabel’s father professes to be an observant Jew, yet clearly feels no compunction about molesting her.  Her mother and grandmother have not rescued her. Continue reading →

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May 5, 2024 · 1:00 am

“Creating a Safety Plan for Leaving an Abusive Relationship” by Ann Bale

File:(2) Cycle of abuse, power & control issues in domestic abuse situations.gif

Cycle of Domestic Abuse, Source https://flickr.com, Author moggs oceanlane, (CC Attribtution 2.0 Generic)

NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE 800-799-7233

The post below is by Ann Bale of Don’t Lose Hope, https://sexaddictionpartners.wordpress.com/blog-feed/  .  Ann has an MA in Psychology, and a Diploma in Clinical and Pastoral Counseling.  She is a certified life skills coach.

Suggestions by Women’s Law for safety planning with children, in school, in rural areas, in court, on the internet, and when an abuser is released from jail can be found at:  https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/safety-planning.

Additional safety suggestions by the Domestic Violence Crisis Center of Connecticut covering the home, workplace, and stalking situations can be found at:  https://www.dvccct.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Domestic-Violence-Safety-Plan-DVCC-.pdf.

Victims should be aware that an abuser may become more violent when an abusive relationship ends.

“‘How many scars have we justified because we loved the person who was holding the knife.’

– Unknown

Creating a Safety Plan is a crucial step when leaving an abusive relationship. Below is a general safety plan. However, you may wish to reach out to support organizations for guidance related to your specific situation.

Things you will need to consider/ have in place include:

1. Emergency Contacts

  • Compile a list of trusted safe friends, family members, and local domestic violence hotlines.
  • Share your Safety Plan (a plan you’ve devised using the information below) with your trusted contacts. This will enable them to help you in an emergency.
  • Establish secret words or signals with your support network to alert them, in case of danger.

2. Safe Housing

  • Identify (in advance) a safe place to stay. This might be a friend’s or family member’s home, or a domestic violence shelter.
  • Ensure it’s a location the abuser doesn’t know about, and is unlikely to call at.

3. Important Documents

Gather together essential documents. You should also store additional copies of these in a secure place (perhaps with a friend). These may include:

  • Identification (ID, passport)
  • Birth certificates
  • Social security cards
  • Marriage certificate
  • Driver’s license
  • Bank statements
  • Health insurance information
  • Address book
  • Lease or mortgage documents

4. Financial Resources

  • Open a bank account (in advance) in your name only.
  • Set aside some cash in case you need it.
  • Keep a record of your financial resources, such as credit cards and savings information, and any other sources of income.

5. Emergency Bag

Prepare an emergency bag with the following items:

  • Medication
  • Clothing for a few days
  • Personal hygiene items
  • Cell phone and charger
  • Important documents and copies
  • Spare keys”

Continue reading →

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