Tag Archives: resilience

Dreadful Sins

Portrait of Gisèle Pelicot by Ann-Sophie Qvarnström as an illustration for Wikipedia (CC BY-SA 4.O International)

WARNING:  Graphic Images

“Madam, we the women of East London feel horror at the dreadful sins that have been lately committed in our midst.”

–Petition to Queen Victoria by 4000 impoverished women of Whitechapel

In fear for their lives, the women of London’s Whitechapel petitioned Queen Victoria for relief when Jack the Ripper was at large [1][2].  The Ripper is known to have murdered 5 women, but the exact number of his victims is uncertain [3].  These women were all characterized as prostitutes, though they may simply have been destitute women.

Serial Killings

Despite his infamy, Jack the Ripper was not the first serial killer of women.  Nor will he be the last.  The savagery of such attacks will not be addressed here. 

There are, however, men who have no compassion for women — whether they ever become serial killers or not.  They do not recognize women as human beings, and feel entitled to use and degrade them.  A few celebrity predators come to mind, though fame is not a prerequisite.

Sex Trafficking

Worldwide, of course, there are sex traffickers who exploit women by force, fraud, and coercion for their own financial gain.  Drugs are commonly employed to secure control over women in the sex trade. 

Rape by Proxy

Dominique Pelicot, aged 71, went a step further.  Pelicot was recently convicted in France of repeatedly drugging Gisele (his wife of 50 years), then recruiting 50 different men to rape her over a 10 year period [4A].  The men (who, themselves, ranged in age from 26 to 68) were likewise convicted, though some claim they believed they were taking part in an erotic game [5].

Pelicot took thousands of videos of these men abusing his unconscious wife.  Though she was asleep during the assaults, Gisele Pelicot suffered large gaps in memory, hair and weight loss, as side effects of the drugs her husband was surreptitiously administering to her [4B].  She feared she was developing Alzheimer’s Disease or a brain tumor. Continue reading

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Filed under Abuse of Power, Child Abuse, Child Molestation, Christianity, domestic abuse, domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, Justice, Law, Neglect, Physical Abuse, Poverty, Prostitution, Rape, Religion, sex trafficking, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Assault, Violence Against Women

Surviving Child Abuse, Part 2 – Coping Strategies

File:Arizona Wildflowers (47287023152).jpg

Wildflowers, Peridot Mesa, AZ, Source Arizona Wildflowers, Author Alan Stark of Goodyear, AZ (CC BY-SA 2.0 Generic)

Denying or shutting down feelings — emotions, pains, etc. — usually blocks people’s energy or blinds them to important warnings [1].”

The instinctive coping mechanisms for child abuse are repression, denial, and dissociation [2].  These survival mechanisms protect us against the painful truth of the abuse, but tend to maintain the abuse secret.   They are, in the long run, maladaptive.

Therapy, Loving Friends, Self-Care, and Stress Reduction

While there is no single approach proven to be universally successful, there are helpful coping strategies for dealing with the long-term effects of childhood abuse [3A][4A].

These include cognitive behavioral therapy; the support of loving friends and family members; a healthy daily routine of self-care; and stress reduction activities like mindfulness, exercise, and prayer [3B][4B][5][6A].

Supportive and trusting relationships allow us to explore and express our feelings in a safe setting.

Medication can, at times, be useful, as well.

Creativity (Self-Expression)

Creativity is another outlet for expressing our feelings .  We may blog or keep a journal, snap photos, take up amateur dramatics, draw, paint, sculpt, learn to throw pottery or arrange flowers [7][8].  It makes no difference.

Nor does it make a difference whether our efforts meet some ideal standard or not.  The act of self-expression can help us expel the poison and reclaim our joy.

Music

Music touches the soul in ways that words alone cannot [9].  We can experience the positive effect music has whether we compose, play an instrument, dance, sing, or simply listen to music.

Continue reading

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The Children of War

File:Infant victim of Dak Son massacre.jpg

3 y.o. Dieu Do, homeless and fatherless after a 1967 Viet Cong attack, Source http://www.dcvonline.net/php/modules.php?name=News&file=print&sid=3989, Author USIA (PD as work product of US Govt.)

WARNING: Graphic Images

“The only way to eliminate war is to love our children more than we hate our enemies.”

-Golda Meir

The United Nations International Children’s Emergency Fund (UNICEF) last year issued a milestone report titled “25 Years of Children and Armed Conflict:  Taking Action to Protect Children in War” [1].

That report documents the grave violations against children in situations of armed conflict, highlighting steps the international community can take to protect children.  But the ravages of war have long been recognized [2][3].

Conflict fundamentally impacts the world in which children live, along with impacting the adults around them.  Conflict destroys houses, businesses, roads, crops, and fields.  It pollutes groundwater and sanitation systems; wreaks havoc with electrical systems; disrupts food and medical supply chains, impairing access to essential services.

Both aerial bombardment and explosions from artillery can produce anxiety and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder among adults, adolescents, and children [4A][5A].  Mere vibrations from shelling can kill an unborn child in the womb [4B]. Continue reading

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Fire Shut Up in My Bones

“…you may try your best to repress a truth, but you cannot because it hurts!  It’s literally painful.  And until you release it, it will feel like a fire shut up in my [your] bones.”

-Charles M. Blow, Author of Fire Shut Up in My Bones

Tickets are sold out to jazz great Terence Blanchard’s [1] “Fire Shut Up in My Bones” [2], the first opera by a black composer to be featured at New York City’s prestigious Metropolitan Opera.

This is not “Oklahoma!”.  There are no songs here that will become popular hits, later sung by schoolchildren.  The music is instead somber, in a minor key.  The story is powerful and moving – a coming of age story set in the Deep South; a story of sexual abuse and resilience.

That story is based on the autobiographical memoir [3][4][5] of New York Times op-ed columnist Charles M. Blow [6]. Continue reading

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Resilience, Part 2

Baby birds in nest, Author Tony Alter, Newport News, USA (CC BY-SA 2.0 Generic)

“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.”

-Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms

Though the Childhood Experience Study (ACES) identifies overall exposure to stress, it cannot assess resilience, the capacity of individuals to respond to stress [1A].

Resilience Factors

“A decent self-image comes from somebody paying attention to you as a person and respecting everything you do.”

-Berry Brazleton, world-renowned pediatrician and child development expert [1B]

“At the top of the list is always the presence of some kind of supportive relationship.”

-Jack Shonkoff, Director, Harvard Center on the Developing Child [1C]

Our capacity to respond to adversity varies widely [2].  Some of that capacity is genetic.  Some of it involves choice – the determination to overcome obstacles.  Some of it involves energy, effort, and tenacity.

Always at the heart of resilience, however, lies a caring relationship [1D].  Children abused by a parent may have a loving grandparent for a short while or a sibling who shares their suffering.  That may be enough to keep them going. Continue reading

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Filed under Child Abuse, Child Molestation, Emotional Abuse, Neglect, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse