Do a search on variations of the title to this piece, and you will be directed to instructions on how to breach the defenses of various video games, and a few posts on breach of contract. Those are not what concern abuse survivors.
Oh, our defenses were most definitely breached. Whatever meager defenses we had as children – whatever protests we made or attempted to make or wanted to make but were too confused and frightened or too young to make – were ignored and overridden as if our bodies, our souls, were the property of someone else.
That is, in fact, how our voices were silenced. Protest was so clearly useless, what would have been the point?
But breach is one of those wounds that keep on giving. Years later, we may tolerate the unexpected groping by an older boy at the beach, the fumblings of a middle-aged optician in a darkened exam room, and despise ourselves for it, when the fault is not ours. Was never ours.
Boundaries are meant to protect us. When they have been violated physically, sexually or emotionally, we become vulnerable to further violation.
This is not an indictment against us, not a sign of weakness on our part. The fact that wounds leave scars is simply proof that we are human. And we were, after all, children. We never had a real choice; were forced to submit to violation of the most profound kind. Continue reading