July 9, 2013 · 1:45 pm

Through Hell and Back

 

Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus, and Michelle Knight, the three women held captive for a decade in a Cleveland home by Ariel Castro, have spoken publicly thanking God and all those who have extended a helping hand to them.

Amanda says, “I am getting stronger each day.”

Michelle declares, “I may have been through hell and back.  But I am strong enough to walk through hell with a smile on my face, and with my head held high…I will not let the situation define who I am.  I will define the situation…I don’t want to be consumed by hatred…We need to take a leap of faith and know that God is in control…”

Nothing more need be added.

Contributions to assist the women in rebuilding their lives can be made through the Cleveland Courage Fund at:

Cleveland Courage Fund

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July 7, 2013 · 1:00 am

In the Aftermath of Abuse, Part 2 – Guilt and Shame

Sexually abused child (1910), Author Dr. P. Langenscheidt, Source “Der Sexualverbrecher” [“The Sexual Criminal”], (PD, published before 1/1/23)

“ ‘If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in Me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea’ ” (Matt. 18: 6).

It is easier for children to believe they “deserve” the evil done to them, than to take in the fact an adult who should care for them actually has little or no regard for their well-being.

The Statute of Limitations and other obstacles can make it difficult to hold child abusers and molesters accountable legally.  Even with a conviction, however, the feeling of “sinfulness” may rebound from an abuser to his victims.

This in no way implies that they were at fault. Victims, however, relive the trauma of having been treated as worthless. They are often left with a vague sense of unworthiness that can permeate their lives, and undermine subsequent relationships.

Though this feeling of their own “sinfulness” can be overwhelming to abuse victims, the conclusions they draw from it are not accurate.  Victims did not warrant or invite the abuse.  They remain deserving of love.

The feeling of “sinfulness” is just one of the scars left in the wake of abuse.  Other symptoms can include anxiety, depression, alcohol or drug addiction, eating disorders, and sexual dysfunction.  These behaviors either stem from the pain or are attempts to numb it.  All of them “punish” the victim, who was never at fault in the first place!

The symptoms of abuse may, themselves, become a cause of shame to victims.  Self-destructive behaviors shift the focus away from the abuse, while silently declaring it to the world.  Imperfect as coping mechanisms, these behaviors can have dire consequences but are, in effect, a cry for help.

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June 30, 2013 · 3:27 pm

In the Aftermath of Abuse, Part 1 – Victims and Predators

” ‘Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of My Father…’ ” (Matt. 18: 10).

Each year, some six million children in the United States are sexually or physically abused.

This 6-part series will explore the emotional and spiritual ramifications of abuse, with a view toward assisting the survivors of abuse and those who care for them in dealing with its long-term effects.

Those of us who have decades of experience with abuse and its aftermath are all too familiar with these details.  But for each new generation of victims, these truths must be restated.

It must be said at the outset that children are NEVER responsible for the abuse inflicted upon them. The idea of a “bad” or “seductive” child is a lie perpetrated by child molesters, a rationale to excuse their heinous actions.

Predators are often manipulative, convincing child victims that they brought on the violation; consented to the violation; will not be believed, if the violation is reported; will be sent away from home, if the violation is reported; will place their parents (or pets) in danger, if the violation is reported, etc.  Some of these same arguments are made to women by the husbands and boyfriends who perpetrate violence against them.

As a consequence, victims often experience a misplaced sense of guilt and shame.  This will be further discussed in our next segment.

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June 26, 2013 · 6:48 am

The Least of These

Earlier this month, Texas pageant mom, Tori Hensley, acknowledged giving her toddler daily caffeine to boost the child’s energy.

Last week, an Ohio day care worker was charged with drugging the youngsters entrusted to her. Tammy Eppley is said to have sprinkled Benadryl and melatonin into the children’s food with the goal of getting them to sleep all day. Eppley had bragged of her success to friends.  She now contends she was merely joking.

Hopefully, these situations have not yet resulted in permanent injury to the youngsters involved.  They do, however, illustrate the vulnerability of children .

We will be held to account both for what we inflict on these little ones, and for what we deny them that is necessary for their proper growth and development.

“…’Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me‘ ” (Matt. 25: 40).

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June 19, 2013 · 8:00 am

Wrongly Convicted

“Happy is he…whose hope is in the Lord his God…Who keeps truth forever, Who executes justice for the oppressed…The Lord gives freedom to the prisoners” (Ps. 146: 5-7).

An Associated Press story recently highlighted the fact that bite mark evidence has lost credibility. At least two dozen of the men arrested and/or convicted on such evidence have since been exonerated by DNA testing. Many of the men were imprisoned for a decade or more.

Levon Brooks was sentenced to life after being convicted of the sexual assault and murder of his ex-girlfriend’s 3 year old daughter. Kennedy Brewer was sentenced to death in a similar case. The “human” bite marks on the little girls were later attributed to crayfish and insects in the water where the bodies were found. DNA testing in both cases matched Justin Johnson who, also, confessed. Johnson had a history of rape.

Cases involving the assault and death of children are particularly heinous. While moved to seek justice for these young victims, we must not jump to conclusions about guilt from a desire for closure. Joseph and the prophet, Jeremiah, were two of the biblical figures falsely imprisoned.

Jesus, Himself, was denied due process and convicted on the basis of perjured testimony. Worth remembering, as we pursue justice.

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June 12, 2013 · 6:12 am

Scandal at the State Department

Just the latest in a series of scandals, an Inspector General’s Report accuses the State Department of having quashed several attempts to investigate sexual misconduct by overseas officials, including an ambassador.  Some of that misconduct is said to have involved sex with prostitutes, some of them minors, which would make the activity criminal, as well as despicable.

A genuine  investigation is now, we are told, underway.  Evidence of criminality is to be referred to the Justice Department.  That will make a refreshing change from empty posturing, and a ceremonial slap on the wrist.

It is easy to become cynical in the face of such scandals.   That power corrupts hardly comes as a surprise.

A few observations, however:

  1. Assuming that grounds exist for these allegations, it took courage for the whistleblower(s) to come forward.
  2. The children who were violated are no mere fiction.  Their youth and potential are daily being squandered.
  3. The women who sold their bodies to powerful men, for lack of anything else to offer, are more than the smutty jokes made at their expense.  They are human beings living out a tragedy.

It is dangerous to become jaded.  As we become hardened, less and less can shock us.  We begin to pride ourselves in that fact.  Gradually, we lose the feeling in our hearts, in the same way diabetics lose the feeling in their extremities.  Both processes are deadly.

At very least, we should demand accountability, both from those involved in such misconduct and those who tolerate it.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT:  http://www.alawyersprayers.com

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June 8, 2013 · 3:29 am

No End to Evil

Details continue to emerge re:  the Boston Marathon bombings.  Overseas, more than 800 recently died when a Bangladeshi garment factory collapsed.  Safety infractions are under investigation.  Meanwhile, three young women held captive for decades in what appeared an ordinary Cleveland home were found and released.

There is no end to evil.  We could daily find other stories of inhumanity in the news.  How is the average person to respond to all this?

It is important we remember that there is good, as well.  For every act of cowardice, there are countless acts of courage.  For every instance of selfishness, there are countless acts of self-sacrifice.

These may not receive the same press, but they are as real and impactful.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT:  http://www.alawyersprayers.com

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April 21, 2013 · 7:07 pm

Even Solomon

New Jersey police recently found two children, aged 5 and 10, living in an unheated storage unit. The situation came to light when the boys’ mother was arrested for allegedly slashing her boyfriend’s tires.

How are those of us concerned with the welfare of children to respond?  If these children are placed into the foster system, we cannot be sure of the quality of care they will receive.  Clearly, their mother would benefit from counseling – not to mention employment training.  And what of their father?  Does he bear no responsibility?

Social workers wrestle with such imponderables daily.  Solomon would be at a loss to supply an answer. All the rest of can do is support programs that benefit abused and neglected children, in the hope one life may be salvaged at a time.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT:  http://www.alawyersprayers.com

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September 21, 2012 · 7:03 pm

Boundary Violation

No matter how far we may have come in our recovery, as abuse victims we retain scars.  Many of us, for instance, are vulnerable to boundary violation.

Since our boundaries were not respected, the ability to defend ourselves (especially against someone who “should” be trustworthy) may be diminished.  When that line is crossed – even in adulthood, even in a non-sexual context – we are often flooded with shame for having “failed” to protect ourselves…as if the fault were ours.

It is worth reminding ourselves that we live in the shell crater, the aftermath.  The scars we retain are evidence of that – not evidence of our supposed defects.

But we need not let that reality defeat us.  We have value and purpose.  And lives yet to live to the fullest.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT:  http://www.alawyersprayers.com

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September 17, 2012 · 6:54 pm

A New Pope

Hopes are high for Pope Francis and his impact on the Catholic Church.

While the new pope’s agenda should include additional measures to root out, redress, and report sexual misconduct by priests, that agenda should focus, also, on the poor.  The gap between rich and poor grows ever wider.

We may mistakenly measure the value of life by wealth, power or fame.  We may be impressed by zip code or square footage.  But to God all life is priceless.

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