Category Archives: Sexual Abuse

December 14, 2025 · 1:00 am

Climbing Gear

Open crevasse, Tangra Mountains, Antarctica, Author Apcbg, (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

A chasm opens up again.  Depression yawns before us once more, sucking us in despite our best efforts.

It may be that something reminded us of our earlier trauma.  It may be that regret over an old loss or error in judgment morphed from sadness into despair.  Whatever the cause, as abuse victims we can suddenly find ourselves falling headlong into darkness. 

Consumed with self-loathing, we may feel achingly alone in a crowd, strangers in a strange land while at a local mall or familiar church service. 

The greetings, compliments, and good wishes of loved ones – however many, however sincere – are dismissed as undeserved.  Life loses its savor.  Even prayer seems stale.

Surprisingly, the skills and equipment necessary to alpine rescue have bearing on this.

Fatal Self-Isolation

Engulfed by depression, our instinct will likely be to self-isolate.  But this can be a fatal mistake, effectively putting us at risk of hypothermia from the cold of the mountain crevasse into which we have fallen.  It can take a rescue team and specialized equipment to pull a climber who has fallen into such a crevasse back to safety.

Climbing Team

It is essential to remember that none of us really climbs the mountains of life alone.  We are all linked to others – to family, friends, roommates, neighbors, teachers, classmates, coaches, teammates, co-workers, health care providers, crisis hot lines, and God, Himself.  These are vital resources. Continue reading →

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December 7, 2025 · 1:00 am

In Search of Greatness

Woodcut “Jesus Teaches Greatness” from “Die Bibel in Bildern” (“The Bible in Pictures”) by Julius Schnorr von Carolsfeld (1860), Source “Die Bibel in Bildern” (“The Bible in Pictures”), (PD) 

I dreamt last night of a frustrated young man, longing for meaning and purpose.  For greatness, as the world defines it.

But greatness is not defined by the billions garnered overnight for a clever idea at the right moment, or – more often, these days – a mirage sold to a public so hungry for something of substance it will swallow almost anything.  Greatness is not exemplified by Apple or Twitter or Lululemon, no matter how high their stock price.

Greatness is exemplified by the daily faithfulness of a good father working a menial job to put food on the table and shoes on his children’s feet, by the daily patience of a good mother homeschooling an autistic child for lack of a better alternative.

Greatness is not measured in moments.  It is measured across a lifetime.

Few of us are called to go out in a blaze of cinematic glory, applauded martyrs to a popular cause.  More are called to stand guard on lonely frontiers, to push boulders endlessly up impossible hills, our worth unrecognized and unsung.

God sees those efforts, nonetheless.  It is He who assigns their true value, not this deluded, transient world.  It is urgent our young people hear this from us.

“But he who is greatest among you shall be your servant” (Matt. 23: 11).

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT:  https://alawyersprayers.com

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November 30, 2025 · 1:00 am

Grooming – The Manipulation of Children

“Garden of Deception” by Andrew Blucha  (2022), Courtesy of https://www.reddit.com/r/ImaginaryHorrors/comments/uyxcoo/the_garden_of_deception_andrew_blucha_2022/ 

Grooming refers to the deliberate process by which an abuser builds a relationship with a child for the purpose of manipulating, exploiting, and abusing that child [1A][2A].  It involves gaining the victim’s trust over time while desensitizing the child to abusive behaviors, so that the child is less likely to reject them and report the abuser to authorities. 

Significantly, grooming can take place both in person and online.  It can take place at home, at school, in clubs, on teams, in religious settings, and elsewhere [2B].  Online, it can involve social media (Instagram, Tik Tok, Snapchat, etc.) or gaming platforms (PlayStation Network, Xbox Live, Discord, etc.) [2C].

Dynamic

Grooming is the result of a power differential within the relationship, which the abuser uses for his/her own gratification [1B].  Authority can create such a differential, for instance, where the abuser is a teacher, coach, or physician.  But age, itself, can create a power differential. 

Most caring adults will be sensitive to the fact children are easily influenced.  Predators, by contrast, use this vulnerability to their advantage, coupling it with appropriately tailored lies.  “This is how all Daddies teach their little girls about sex.”  “This will make Uncle Frank very happy.  You want to make him happy, don’t you?”  “This is what big boys do.”

Grooming Situations

Grooming is most commonly employed in cases of child sexual abuse.  Even adults, however, can be groomed [1C].  That may be the case where the abuser is a family “friend” (a charming predator with whom parents are led to believe their child will be safe), or where an adult victim comes under the sway of a narcissistic partner [3][4].

Children old enough to flee physical or sexual abuse at home will find it brutally hard to live on the streets.  Not surprisingly, they, too, are susceptible to grooming which is precisely why pimps and sex traffickers rely on the tactic.  A homeless young person offered “free” room and board will find it difficult to refuse sex in exchange. Continue reading →

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November 23, 2025 · 1:00 am

“Wisdom, Divine Guidance, and Artificial Intelligence” by Dr. Mehmoush Mohajer

“Wisdom” by Robert Lewis Reid (1896), Library of Congress (digital ID highsm.02216), Washington, DC, Author/Photographer Carol Smith (PD)

The following article by clinical psychologist, Dr. Mehmoush Mohajer, appeared in the October 2025 edition of Israel:  The Prophetic Connection by C4i America.

“…In today’s world, artificial intelligence (AI) is increasingly shaping human life.  From daily decisions like shopping and travel to complex matters such as personal relationships, career planning, and child-rearing, many people prefer to rely on algorithms rather than human wisdom and divine guidance.  Yet, entrusting life entirely to machines carries significant psychological and even structural consequences for human beings.

The Value of Wisdom and Divine Guidance

Wisdom and divine guidance are humanity’s greatest assets.  The Bible repeatedly emphasizes the importance of trusting in God:

‘In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight’ (Prov. 3: 6).

True guidance and lasting security are not found in data or algorithms but in trusting divine wisdom…Divine guidance ensures genuine peace and personal growth — something no algorithm can replicate.

Psychological and Neurological Consequences of Overreliance on AI

Excessive dependence on AI can have profound effects on both the brain and mental health:

1. Impaired decision-making and problem-solving

The prefrontal cortex, responsible for analysis, planning, and judgment, weakens when humans exercise these skills less frequently.

2. Reduced empathy and social skills

Brain regions such as the anterior cingulate cortex and insula become less active, diminishing the ability to process emotions and empathize with others.

3. Decreased cognitive flexibility and working memory

Limited practice in problem-solving and creative thinking restricts neural pathways, weakening memory and adaptability.

Re-life examples

  • Responding to messages or managing romantic relationships using AI, without interpreting emotions independently.
  • Parents relying on algorithms for child-rearing decisions, reducing direct experience and nurturing.
  • Career and financial choices made solely on data, ignoring ethical values and human judgment.

AI as a Tool, not a Substitute for Divine Guidance

AI can be a valuable tool for information gathering and streamlining tasks, but it cannot replace human wisdom or divine guidance.  Algorithms cannot comprehend spiritual consequences, personal growth, or moral values.  Fully entrusting one’s life to AI is equivalent to handing control to an unaware entity…

Balancing Wisdom, Prayer, and Technology

The key is to integrate human wisdom, divine guidance, and technology responsibly:

  • Use AI to gather information and support logical decision-making.
  • Make final choices based on ethical values and through prayerful connection with the Holy Spirit.
  • As Scripture warns:  ‘Do not put your trust in anyone but the Lord‘ (PS. 2: 11).

This approach allows humans to lead a conscious, safe, and meaningful life while maintaining mental and spiritual growth…”

A peer reviewed report by the Dept. of Health and Human Resources indicates that  youth sex-change procedures (including puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones, and surgery) do significant harm while failing to decrease suicide risk.

See, https://www.hhs.gov/press-room/hhs-releases-peer-reviewed-report-discrediting-pediatric-sex-rejecting-procedures.html and https://www.statnews.com/2025/11/19/hhs-gender-affirming-care-report-authors-named/.

Wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving!

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com 

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November 16, 2025 · 1:00 am

Wounds

Colored stipple etching of a forearm with three open wounds, WOUNDS by J. Stewart after J. Bell (c. 1826), Wellcome Collection (Library Reference ICV No 9908), Source/Photographer https://wellcomeimages.org/indexplus/obf_images/b3/e5/19f609d2570b60390b8f1a0e2f55.jpg, (Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International)

When sex is viewed merely as another human appetite – powerful perhaps, but devoid of emotional content; when it is shared with any number of casual strangers, rather than with the beloved in a lifelong committed relationship as intended by God, then it is devalued and we with it. 

Instead, a profound wound is created, a wound that reaches to the soul.

We may deny the existence of this wound.  Certainly, our culture does.  But the wound is a reality, nonetheless, a gaping void no substitute can fill. 

We may try to fill that void by increasing the number of our sexual partners, a fruitless exercise.  We may try to fill it with food, alcohol, or drugs in an effort to numb the pain.  The effort, itself, can become a compulsion.  But the wound remains. 

For the victims of abuse, sexual or otherwise, the very same wound is created.  We know at the deepest level that we were seen as worthless by the parents or guardians who should have loved us.  The grief and shame are overwhelming, and can last a lifetime.

Christ is familiar with wounds.  He, too, bore them.  Not due to His own fault, but for our sakes.  And He can heal them.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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November 9, 2025 · 1:00 am

Where Are the Children?

“Two Children Abandoned in the Amazon”, Source/Author Raguilar1158, (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

Though much vilified, US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) plans to open a dedicated Call Center to assist state and local law enforcement in locating hundreds of thousands of unaccompanied migrant children allowed illegally into the United States under the Biden Administration, children whose condition and whereabouts are now unknown [1]. 

More important than the immigration status of these children is their welfare which has not been adequately tracked, if at all.   Thousands upon thousands of children simply vanished.  

Whistleblowers have since exposed how the vicious scheme worked [2].  Under the auspices of trafficking cartels, children – some younger than 5 years of age, some sedated by melatonin laced gummies – arrived at the border with nothing but a phone number scribbled on their arms or clothing. Continue reading →

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October 26, 2025 · 1:00 am

Population Decline

File:バス座席のステッカー (6451369381).jpg

Elderly couple in Japan, Source flickr.com, Author Jordi Sanchez, Teruel (CC BY-SA 2.0 Generic)

Developed countries are experiencing a significant population decline [1].  

The size of the workforce in developed countries is shrinking, while the proportion of older men and women is rising due to longer life expectancies, lower fertility rates, and lower birth rates (this last attributed in part to a rise in LGBTQ identification).  Reliance on social services by an aging population is meanwhile on the rise.

This is impacting national economies, defense, housing, education, and culture [2].  There is, also, a potential impact on child abuse/neglect, domestic violence, and elder abuse.

Japan

Japan’s population has been shrinking for the past 15 years [3][4].  The stress of urban life is taking a heavy toll.  Technology can only replace human beings in certain labor sectors. 

A growing number of businesses in Japan now cater to parties of one:  restaurants, bars, karaoke clubs…even wedding chapels.  So called “alternative romance” is highly in vogue among the young, with robots replacing human beings in relationships and marriage to inanimate objects seen as acceptable.  

Meanwhile, the elderly are being left behind in the digital revolution [5].  There is a widening rift between tech-savvy youth and digitally challenged seniors.  Only 54.2% of Japanese aged 65-74 use smartphones, compared with 85% of American seniors. Only 7.2% of Japanese over age 80 use the internet, compared with 44% of Americans of similar age. 

This is greatly increasing social isolation among the elderly, as well as a deepening the generational divide. Continue reading →

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October 19, 2025 · 1:00 am

Mercy, Justice, and the God of the Old Testament, Part 2

“Padre Eterno (The Eternal Father)” by Giovanni Bellini (1500-1505), Civic Museums of Pesaro, Italy, Source https://www.pesaromusei.it, (PD)

WARNING:  Graphic Images

The relationship abuse victims have with God is, as they say, complicated.  Since we see God through the filter of our own experience (a lens which can be distorted), victims both of childhood abuse and domestic violence tend to view Him as harsh and punitive [1]. 

Though God does not cause evil, we may well blame Him for our pain.  There are those who have rejected Him because of that. 

In considering the nature of God, however, we must not overlook the fact that He is forgiving.  That idea may seem at odds with the picture of God presented in the Old Testament.  But it is central to God’s character.

Forgiveness

Out of His great love, God created a world in which His children are given freedom to sin.  They are not, in other words, required to love Him.  The Old Testament tells the story of how Israel repeatedly abandoned God, repented, and was forgiven.  

“But You are God, Ready to pardon, Gracious and merciful, Slow to anger, Abundant in kindness, And did not forsake them” (Neh. 9: 17).

The Book of Hosea brings this down to a personal level.  The prophet is instructed by God to take a wife who is a harlot.  She betrays him with other men.  Yet he takes her back and treats her kindly.

Many, of course, point to the people God instructed the Israelites to kill.  These critics conclude God must be an angry and heartless god.  But God’s motives should be considered.  This is where His justice comes in.

A.  Egyptians

The ancient Egyptians worshiped a vast number of gods, i.e. demons (1 Cor. 10: 20), estimated to be over 2000 [8].  During the 400 years the Israelites were enslaved in Egypt, they served as witnesses to the Egyptians concerning the one true God.  God then gave the Egyptians 10 more chances (the biblical plagues) to turn away from idols.  They chose not to do that.

B.  Canaanites

The Canaanites (among them the Perizzites, the Hivites, the Jebusites, and the people of Ai) were involved in practices abominable to God, including child sacrifice and sexual immorality. 

  • Children were burned alive to the Canaanite god (demon) Molech to ensure their parents’ prosperity [2A].  Music was used to drown out the pitiful screams.
  • The Canaanite goddess (demon) Ashtoreth (known as Ishtar in Mesopotamia, and Astarte in Phoenicia) had male and female prostitutes who performed erotically, and engaged sexually with worshipers [2B]. 
  • Gender-bending was one of Ashtoreth’s characteristics [2C][3].  So parades in honor of the goddess (demon) not only featured temple prostitutes, but lesbians, homosexuals, and transvestites (sexual orientations and gender identity not in accord with God’s intention for humanity) [2D][4].  
  • The goddess (demon) Ashtoreth was, also, deeply involved with magic, the occult, and the casting of spells (practices abhorrent to God) [2E][5]. 
  • Mind altering substances like opium, cannabis, and the blue water lily are thought to have been used in worship [2F][6].

Idolatry is not harmless.  It corrupts the heart [7].

Canaanite children who were not sacrificed themselves would have been brought up in this depraved culture, and have followed in their parents’ footsteps.  Such indoctrination could, itself, be considered a form of child abuse.

The Canaanites were given ample time to repent, as an earlier Scriptural reference to the sin of the Amorites (another Canaanite group) not yet being “full” (Gen. 15: 16) implies. Like the Egyptians, they chose not to do that.

God wanted to prevent the Israelites from adopting similar idolatrous practices (Lev. 20: 1-8; Deut. 18: 9-11), and He wanted to protect their children (Lev. 18: 21). 

C.  Ninevites (Assyrians)

The Assyrians in Ninevah (notorious for violent and terroristic tactics like torture, dismemberment, and decapitation) repented after hearing the word of God from the prophet Jonah, and God stayed His hand of judgment [9].  God then explained to Jonah that His forgiveness was motivated by love even for these wicked people (Jonah 4: 10-11). Continue reading →

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October 12, 2025 · 1:00 am

Mercy, Justice, and The God of the Old Testament, Part 1

“Moses Receiving the Tablets of the Ten Commandments” by Gebhard Fugel (c. 1900), Source https://freechristimages.com/bible-stories/ten-commandments.html, (PD)

While it may be surprising to find the Old Testament discussed on a blog about abuse, spirituality and abuse are closely entwined. 

Satan attempts to use the abuse we suffered as a weapon to destroy victims’ faith.  Many of us do lose our faith as a result, seeing God as harsh and cruel, if we continue to believe in Him at all.

Even those who were never victimized may have difficulty reconciling the God of the Old Testament with the God of the New Testament.  God, of course, has never changed.

Because of this confusion, it is worth examining God’s true nature.

Mercy and Justice

God described Himself to Moses in this way:

“And the Lord passed before him and proclaimed, ‘The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children and the children’s children to the third and the fourth generation'” (Ex. 34: 6-7).

God is, therefore, both merciful and just.  These two qualities are in tension with one another in human beings.  Not so with God.

  • The Hebrew word translated as “mercy” or “merciful” is associated with the love of a mother, with compassion from the very womb [1A]. 
  • Graciousness refers to undeserved favor or grace [1B].
  • Longsuffering refers to patience with our mistakes and sins [1C]. Indeed, God is not only willing to forgive our sins, but desires to take them upon Himself [1D].

The phrase “visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children and the children’s children” will have special resonance for abuse victims, since it conveys the idea of generational sin or abuse.   Children are not punished by God for the sins of their parents [2].  Patterns of sin often, however, continue from one generation to the next. Continue reading →

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October 5, 2025 · 1:00 am

Shame and Our Response to Trauma

Public shaming: “For being born somewhere else” by Francisco Goya (1810-1811), part of a series about victims of the Inquisition, Museo del Prado (Accession No. D04052), Madrid Spain, (PD)

Many of us who suffered through childhood emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, and/or neglect carry a great deal of shame.  This is, in part, because we feel on some level that we deserved the abuse; in part, because of our reaction to it.

There are numerous articles explaining that the abuse was the fault of our abuser; that we were wholly innocent victims.  We may accept that, at least intellectually.  There are fewer articles, however, addressing our response.  So the shame lingers.

An Impossible Standard

As adults, we look back and hold ourselves to an impossible standard.  Whatever our response may have been as children, we feel it was insufficient.  We should have known enough to avoid the situation.  Somehow, we should have gained control, found a way out.

  • We should have screamed, never mind that we were so confused, stunned, or terrified we could not speak and did not think anyone would help us.
  • We should have run, never mind that there was no means of escape.
  • We should have fought back, never mind that the abuser was more than three times our size and had the power either to end our lives or abandon us.
  • We should have told someone, never mind that we had no way to describe what was going on, that are loved ones were threatened, that we were actually concerned for the abuser, and/or that we did not expect to be believed.
  • We should have left home, never mind that we were too young to live on our own, had no ability to support ourselves and nowhere to go.

We should have ____ .  You fill in the blank.

Limitations

None of this self-criticism takes into account two vital things: 

  • First, that we were children with limited means, if any, of confronting such evil.
  • Second, that the human body is only engineered for a limited number of responses to trauma. Those are fight, flight, freeze, and surrender [1].

Continue reading →

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