Category Archives: Child Abuse

January 3, 2014 · 1:00 am

Depravity

“ ‘…[W]e will destroy this place, because the outcry against them has grown great before the face of the Lord, and the Lord has sent us to destroy it’ ” (Genesis 19: 13).

The Bible story of Lot is a difficult one.  The issue of whether Sodom and Gomorrah were condemned for homosexual behavior has been the subject of intense debate [1].

Some have argued that the sin which brought destruction down on the cities of the plain was a lack of hospitality toward strangers – intolerable in desert regions, as it would have placed lives at risk.  Others have been outraged by the treatment of Lot’s virgin daughters, offered to the crowd in place of the strangers under Lot’s protection.  They maintain, therefore, that the sin was rape.

Whichever interpretation we believe is correct, we should be able to agree that the story indicates there is a tipping point, a level of depravity a just God will not tolerate.

Consider these recent news stories, and what they reflect about our own society:

  • In Spain, a soccer coach was arrested after a burglar broke into his home. Searching for valuables, the thief uncovered video of child sexual abuse he then turned over to police.  The coach had used his status to gain access to vulnerable victims.  One girl had been molested for six years, from the age of 10 onward.
  • A former emergency room physician, Ali Salim, pled guilty in Ohio to involuntary manslaughter for the deaths of a 23 y.o. expectant mother and her unborn child.  Salim, also, pled no contest to a charge of rape. The woman had turned to prostitution after a divorce, when unable to support her two young children.  The prosecution alleged that Salim administered a fatal overdose of heroin to her, then failed to provide medical assistance.  Salim had a history of supplying drugs to sex partners – often addicted prostitutes – obtained on Craigslist. Graphic video exists of Salim engaged in acts so obscene the video will be disposed of once the criminal and civil cases against Salim have been concluded.
  • The World Privacy Forum has uncovered a practice by consumer data companies of collecting highly sensitive information, then selling it to marketers with little or no regard for the consequences.  Lists are known to have been compiled of AIDs patients, dementia patients, rape victims, and police officers with their home addresses [2].  All this for the sake of profit.

Surely, this is depravity.  Men and women of conscience cannot help but be appalled.  And these are not isolated incidents.  Which begs the question:  What are we to do in the face of evil?

British philosopher, Edmund Burke, warned that, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing” [3].  We must stand up and be counted.  We must speak up for what we believe is right…even when to do so is uncomfortable and unpopular.

Even a burglar knew that.
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[1] The story of Lot is not a justification for anti-LGBT violence, under any interpretation.

[2] At present, consumer information is only shielded from disclosure if it is used for employment, credit, housing, or insurance purposes. Data brokers, for instance, can readily access details such as the over-the-counter drugs purchased by consumers.

[3] There is some dispute as to the precise origin of this phrase.

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December 29, 2013 · 5:32 am

Good Works

Minimizing the impact of child molestation and other forms of abuse is a way of self-protecting that can lead victims to self-blame and self-hatred.  Negative self-image is often reflected in our inner thought life by an ongoing dialog such as, “I am worthless. No one could love me.”

That we may know on an intellectual level such statements are untrue will not necessarily reduce the power with which we invest them or the frequency with which we engage in them.

Though as abuse victims we may “feel” defective, the truth is that we remain God’s handiwork. He knew before time began the suffering we would be required to endure. Yet He entrusted us with good works – often arising from our very abuse experience – in complete certainty that we would accomplish these.

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them” (Eph. 2: 10).

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December 15, 2013 · 1:00 am

Landmines

Anxiety is one of the many scars typical of childhood sexual abuse. It is the feeble attempt to control our circumstances by worrying about them. Many things in this world, however, are beyond our control. This is not a sign of weakness on our part, even if we experience it that way.

Boundary issues (the diminished ability to protect ourselves, as a result of abuse) are another typical scar.  Recurrent unwelcome incursions can feel like defeats to us, “proof” that abuse victims are defective on an ongoing basis. But that is not the reality either.

Anxiety and boundary issues – like other long-term abuse scars – are evidence that the abuse actually did occur; that it was no mere figment of a disturbed imagination, but rather a profoundly harmful violation and a continuing threat to the victim, in the same way that landmines remain a threat long after the conflict has resolved.

This is what Jesus had to say about anxiety, vulnerability, and the cares of this world:

“ ‘Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on.  Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?  Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?…Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow:  they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these…’ ” (Matt. 6: 25-29).

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December 8, 2013 · 1:00 am

Legion

“Jesus asked him, saying, ‘What is your name?’ And he said, ‘Legion,’ because many demons had entered him” (Luke 8: 30).

Christians (and those calling themselves Christian) can be their own worst enemies. The Legion of Christ is an illustration.

Marcial Maciel, the Catholic priest who founded the infamous Legion, fathered three children despite his vow of chastity [1] and sexually abused seminarians.

William Izquierdo, a Legion of Christ supervisor who oversaw the training of priests, is acknowledged to have molested at least one minor [2].  In total, thirty five Legion priests have been accusing of raping children (nine of these found guilty at internal church trials).

Another prominent Catholic priest in the Legion of Christ, Thomas Williams, also, fathered a child.  Despite this, Williams — a moral theologian — had no compunction about authoring a book titled, “Knowing Right from Wrong:  A Christian Guide to Conscience”.

Williams’ superior was aware of the child, but took no action. Who else in the Catholic Church hierarchy may have known is unclear.

There is one more twist to this sordid tale. Mary Ann Glendon, an advisor to Pope Francis, and former US Ambassador to the Holy See, defended the Legion of Christ in the face of credible reports about the pedophilia. It is Glendon’s daughter who gave birth to Williams’ child, a fact one suspects may have colored the Ambassador’s opinion of the Legion.

The public can hardly be blamed for finding all this revolting. It has been grounds for many to turn away from organized religion.

Devout Christians will tell you that mankind’s tendency to sin is the very reason we need a Savior. Many so called Christians, unfortunately, wrap themselves in this principle the way some people wrap themselves in the flag:  to cover negative motivation.  For them it represents expiation, albeit without repentance.

Those two – expiation and repentance – cannot be severed from each other. Forgiveness is dependent on contrition (Luke 17: 3-4)…something that for many years seems to have escaped the leadership of the Catholic Church [3].

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[1] A large number of people look down upon the vow of chastity today. But having committed to a state of celibacy before God, Catholic priests are under an obligation to adhere to their oath.

[2] The vow of chastity does not “exempt” child molestation. Nor is it a justifiable motive for child molestation.

[3] Pope Francis has announced that a commission will be formed on the sexual abuse of children by priests.  The Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priests (SNAP) views this commission as a diversion.  SNAP takes the position that exhaustive documentation on abuse by priests already exists which the Catholic Church has not turned over to civil authorities.

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December 1, 2013 · 1:00 am

Headlines

The supply of child abuse cases seems endless. Here are just a few examples, from recent headlines:

• In September of this year, Fr. Jeffrey Paulish, was caught in the act of molesting a 15 year old boy in a vehicle on the campus of Penn State University. Paulish first attempted to say the undressed boy had sought counseling from him. The abuser met the teen through the “casual encounters” section on Craigslist.

• In October, one of Fr. Robert Brennan’s victims died of an overdose. Brennan, age 75, is alleged to have molested more than 20 children during the 15 years he was transferred from parish to parish, when complaints of abuse were made to Catholic Church officials.

• The same month, a Pennsylvania school bus driver acknowledged having repeatedly molested an 8 year old boy from 2002 – 2004. The driver had passed a criminal check prior to being hired. Only a small percentage of predators ever fail criminal background checks.

• In November, Leon Watson, a Philadelphia youth football coach was charged with having raped two boys.  Neighbors were stunned.

Some abuse survivors will feel re-victimized on hearing such reports. The past rises up like a spectre, and we feel the familiar shame wash over us. Taste again the bile in our throats. Other abuse survivors will respond with anger that this depravity should persist.

The majority of us will instinctively pity the victims, even if reminded of our own pain. Chances are that those who remain unmoved are still so close to their trauma that identifying with other abuse victims poses too great a “threat” to their emotional stability. Distance feels safer.

A small number of abuse survivors will feel contempt for other victims, viewing them as “weak” and blaming them for the abuse inflicted. Rather than being an accurate assessment of other victims, this criticism betrays the feelings of helplessness the critics, themselves, experienced and are now desperate to deny.

There are few hard and fast rules for recovery from abuse. There is no timetable. We move forward a little, then fall back. Some lessons have to be re-learned, over and over, particularly those about the right of self-defense.

However far along we may (or may not) be toward healing, let us strive to keep faith with one another, and to bear witness to the truth of our ordeal.

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November 17, 2013 · 1:00 am

A Bed in Hell

“Iron Maiden”, ancient instrument of torture, Palacio de los Olvidados, Granada, Author Dorieo Wikimedia Commons (license CC BY-SA 4.0)

Rather than providing consolation, Scripture can feel like torture to abuse victims.  We hear promises of hope and protection as lies…or “proof” of our unworthiness.  After all, God’s promises were not kept in our case, were they? So it can seem to us.

Worse still, we may fear deep down that the fate “assigned” us was deliberately cruel because of our lack of worth.  This is torment, placing the blame for our pain squarely at God’s door.

But listen to verses 7-11 of Psalm 139:

“…Where can I go from Your Spirit?  Or where can I flee from Your presence?  If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.  If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me.  If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall fall on me,’ even the night shall be light about me…”

This is what it means to be a child of God.  We are not spared suffering, but remain the focus of His care and attention at all times.

Our wounds grieve God.  More than that, His hands and feet were pierced for our sakes.  We forget this when lost in our own sorrow.

Abuse victims have known the bed in hell.  For us, depression may be the form darkness takes.  Yet in the throes of that illness, we are not forsaken.  God seeks us out despite our anger, despite our despair, despite even our atheism.

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November 10, 2013 · 1:00 am

Acid Rain

Acid rain woods, Czech Republic, Author Lovecz (PD)

The emotional scars from childhood sexual abuse can badly damage a woman’s view of herself.  But any woman’s self-esteem may be skewed by the world’s sometimes superficial values.

Poor self-esteem can be crippling. The negative feelings associated with childhood abuse often hold abuse victims back from becoming all they might.

Sadly, many of us castigate ourselves for problems and perceived “failings” that are actually scars of the molestation, or coping mechanisms we adopted as children to deal with the pain.  The constant self-criticism is like acid rain for the soul, corrosive and debilitating.

God does not evaluate human beings as we do. He looks at the heart, while the world tends to look only at the outer shell (1 Sam. 16: 7).

Scripture emphasizes Christ’s great love for us, and encourages us to combat these negative feelings whenever they arise.

“…[N]either death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 8: 38-39).

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November 3, 2013 · 1:00 am

Help for Rahab

New York is the first state to establish a court system designed to assist sex workers in escaping prostitution.  Pilot courts have been in operation in Manhattan, Queens, and Nassau Counties for several years.

Eighteen states now provide services to children caught in the sex trade, rather than imposing prison sentences on them.  Reuters quotes Georgia State University law professor, Jonathan Todres, on this topic saying, “There’s a real urgency here. We need to recognize as a nation that these children are victims and survivors of violent crimes and abuse, and they should not be treated as criminals [1].”

New York’s specialized court system will link defendants with resources such as shelters, drug rehabilitation, medical treatment, education, and job training. Sex trafficking is already a crime in New York.

“And Joshua spared Rahab the harlot, her father’s household, and all that she had. So she dwells in Israel to this day, because she hid the messengers whom Joshua sent to spy out Jericho” (Joshua 6: 25).

Some of you may remember the story of how Joshua conquered Jericho.  But before Joshua had the trumpets sound, he sent spies into the city.  Because they were shielded from discovery by the prostitute Rahab, she and her family were allowed to live when the city was taken.

That was not all.  As Matthew reports at chapter 1, verse 5, Rahab married into the line of David and what would become the lineage of the Messiah.

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[1] “New York creates state-wide court system to help prostitutes,” Reuters 9/25/13, http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/09/25/us-usa-newyork-prostitution-idUSBRE98O14520130925.

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October 27, 2013 · 6:00 am

Sparrows

A Colombian mother is reported to have prostituted 12 of her daughters, charging between $160 and $212 for the young girls’ virginity.  The abuse was brought to the attention of authorities by a victim who gave birth at age 14.

Where was God in all this?  Could He not have intervened?  Such evil is staggering.  Confronted by it, we cannot help but cry out.

God is not immune to our pain.  Nor is He indifferent.  He suffered for us on the cross, and continues to suffer with us.  We are His children.  Would you not suffer for yours?  Surely, you feel their pain when a young wing is broken or a young dream falters.

This is a fallen world — home both to incalculable evil and amazing good.  We get to choose sides.  That privilege comes at great cost.  But those choosing evil should make no mistake.  God’s eye is on the sparrow…on all the defenseless little sparrows.  And there will be a reckoning.

” ‘Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins?  And not one of them is forgotten before God.  But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows‘ ” (Luke 12: 6-7).

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October 20, 2013 · 1:00 am

Normal

Whatever our life experience, nearly all of us wonder at some time or other whether we are normal.  Those of us bearing the physical and emotional scars of child abuse or domestic violence are especially sensitive on this topic.  We feel responsible for the scars, as if they were somehow character flaws.

The term “normal” suggests that differences from average are defects, even the scars resulting from trauma.  In reality, “normal” covers an enormously wide range of behavior, differing from culture to culture, and age to age.

Chances are that all the following would view themselves as normal:  polygamists, monks, strippers, con men, psychics, lion tamers, astrologers, tattoo artists, arms dealers, cave divers, UFO enthusiasts, and Wall Street bankers.

We have different tolerances for risk from one another. We have different appetites from one another. We have different aptitudes and interests from one another.  And we adhere to different moral standards from one another.

The test for hospital release is posing no reasonably foreseeable risk of harm to self or others.  A more relevant inquiry for abuse victims might be whether a particular behavior is effective for achieving their intended goals or not.

If it is done or conceived of by humans, it is human.  Not necessarily laudable or even legal, but human.

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