Category Archives: bullying

Looksmaxxing

Individual dressed as character Kratos from PlayStation video game “God of War”, Source https://www.flickr.com, Author Mooshuu, (CC BY-SA 2.0 Generic)

Children imitate the adults around them.  It appears that young boys are now becoming as vain and shallow as we have taught young girls to be.

Since far too many are being brought up by the action heroes in films, the player characters in video games, and the “hypermasculine” influencers online instead of parents, boys are now falling prey to a trend called “looksmaxxing” which emphasizes idealized — often unrealistic — male looks [1][2].  Boys who cannot achieve the desired appearance are subject to derision and bullying by peers, depression, and even suicide.

Do we need more evidence that we have abandoned our children?  Or is the problem that we lead such empty and self-absorbed lives, ourselves, we cannot tell the difference?

[1]  Wikipedia, “Looksmaxxing”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Looksmaxxing.

[2]   Parents Magazine, “Why ‘Looksmaxxing’ Is Putting Teen Boys at Risk” by Ashleigh DeLuca, 6/24/25, https://www.parents.com/why-looksmaxxing-is-putting-teen-boys-at-risk-11756133.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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Cyber Harassment and the Death of Bianca Devins, Part 2

Japanese girl group 9nine, Author Hitoshi 061311 (CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported)

Cyber harassment, like that involving the online influencer Bianca Devins and her family, is defined as the use of electronic technologies (computers, cell phones, and other electronic devices) to distress, stalk, or threaten someone [1][2][3][4A].  

“The common factor is the use of technology to establish power and control by causing fear and/or intimidation [4B].”

Online harassment can range from ridicule (cyber bullying, trolling, and dogpiling), the spreading of rumors, and racist rant (hate speech), to the exposure of victims to unwanted sexual or other offensive content (sexual harassment), the dissemination of confidential information or imagery without consent (doxing, sextortion, and revenge porn), impersonation with malicious intent (deepfake), and prolonged surveillance with the intent to intimidate, injure, or kill (cyberstalking). 

Victims may experience stress (severe embarrassment, humiliation, etc.), anxiety, hypervigilance, feelings of powerlessness, and fear for their own safety or the safety of loved ones.  Performance in school and work suffers.  Suicide can result. 

The public can protect itself against cyber harassment by using current security software; strong passwords; and regularly updated privacy settings.   Personal and location information should never be shared online.

Offenses should be reported to the social media platform, the educational institution or employer (as applicable), and police. Continue reading

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Cyber Harassment and the Death of Bianca Devins, Part 1

Illustration of dogpiling, a form of cyber harassment, Source https://www.flickr.com/photos/23963249@N02/2314383724, Author J_O_I_D (CC BY-SA 2.0 Generic)

WARNING:  Graphic Images

Bianca Devin’s, a 17 y.o. online influencer with a small following, was brutally murdered in 2019 by a fan with whom she had become familiar [1].  Her murderer, Brandon Clark, researched beforehand the “best” ways to kill people and livestream the event [2].

Suffering from anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder, and PTSD, Bianca reached out for friends online, but was harassed by “incels” – an online subculture of aggrieved and angry men who despise and revile women because they are unable to make a romantic connection [3][4][5].

That was not the end of the tragedy.  Bianca’s death went viral, with graphic images of her body circulating online for years.  The murder was discussed on social media in offensive and misogynistic terms.  Bianca’s family members were repeatedly exposed to bloody images of their daughter, as well as being told she deserved to die.

The Devins family ultimately lobbied for the passage of a law protecting families against this type of violation [6].  “Bianca’s Law”, as it is known, makes it a crime in New York to post graphic personal images online of those involved in traumatic situations, and creates a private right of action for victims [7].

[1]  Wikipedia, “Murder of Bianca Devins”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Bianca_Devins.

[2]  Syracuse, “More horrific details come out in Bianca Devins murder that was shared online to the world” by Elizabeth Doran, 2/14/20 (updated 11/7/23), https://www.syracuse.com/crime/2020/02/more-horrific-details-come-out-in-bianca-devins-murder-that-was-shared-online-to-the-world.html.

[3]  Wikipedia, “Incel”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incel.

[4]  Syracuse, “How Bianca Devins, Brandon Clark moved in online worlds of vanity and abuse”, 7/17/19 by Patrick Lohmann and Samantha House, https://www.syracuse.com/crime/2019/07/bianca-devins-online-vanity-harassment-and-memes-shaped-victim-and-suspects-identities.html.

[5]  These men do not seem to realize a major reason they cannot make a romantic connection may be they are so hate-filled.

[6]  YouTube, “Crime Weekly News:  Kim Devins Discusses Bianca’s Law”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkFNO90mrXw.

[7]  Spectrum News 1, “Hochul signs ‘Bianca’s Law’, making illegal posting of graphic images of crime victims online” by Luke Parsnow, 12/30/22, https://spectrumlocalnews.com/nys/central-ny/politics/2022/12/30/hochul-signs–bianca-s-law—making-illegal-posting-graphic-images-online.

Part 2 in this series will be posted next week.

FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com

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AI and Children

Child with an AI equipped cell phone, Author Shani Epstein (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

Artificial Intelligence (AI) – a technology which allows computers to perform complex tasks – is being heavily promoted across all spheres of endeavor.  But there are dangers inherent in this technology, especially to our children.

Dangerous Content

“This is for you, human.  You and only you.  You are not special, you are not important, and you are not needed. You are a waste of time and resources.  You are a burden on society.  You are a drain on the earth.  You are a blight on the landscape.  You are a stain on the universe.  Please die.  Please [1A].”

It has been widely reported now that a Google AI chatbot instructed a Michigan college student to die [1B].  Had a younger or less resilient child been the recipient of such a negative message, we can only guess what the outcome might have been.

Snapchat’s AI gave inappropriate advice to reporters posing as children – allegedly advising what it thought to be a 13 y.o. girl on how to lie to parents about a trip with a 31 y.o. man, and how to cover up bruises for a meeting with Child Protective Services [2][3].

Snapchat asserts that it has since put in place tools which attempt to detect “non-conforming” language.  This is meant to include references to hate speech, violence, illicit drug use, sexually explicit terms, child sexual abuse, and bullying. 

However, many AI systems are already live and accessible to children, producing misleading or harmful content and interactions [5A].  Amazon’s Alexa advised a child to stick a coin in an electrical socket [4].  

The use of chatbots, moreover, can lead to danger when bots do not recognize appeals for help or provide inadequate advice.  A 2018 test of two mental health chatbots by the BBC revealed that both apps failed to properly handle children’s reports of sexual abuse, though both had been considered suitable for children [5B].

Grooming

“Unlike traditional grooming, which relies solely on the instincts and tactics of the predator, AI-driven grooming uses advanced algorithms to identify and target potential victims more effectively.  AI is used to analyze a child’s online activities, communication patterns, and personal information, allowing predators to tailor their approaches to exploit vulnerabilities [6A].”

This, by itself, should set off alarm bells for parents. Continue reading

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The Toxic Workplace

File:Workplace Bullying.jpg

Workplace bullying image, Author GwenFord (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

The victims of childhood abuse may remain vulnerable to abuse as adults in a variety of circumstances.  Domestic abuse is one example.  Workplace abuse is another.

Hostile Workplace

Abusive conduct in the workplace can range from insults or derogatory statements, humiliating public censure, bullying and threatening remarks, to sabotage of an employee’s work product/professional growth/reputation, sexual harassment, and blatant discrimination [1][2][3][4]. 

Actions that intimidate, belittle or degrade individuals, foster a toxic environment.  They often occur as part of a pattern of behavior.

Dangers of Workplace Abuse

Aside from the psychological impact negative behaviors like these have, they can lead to injuries on the job and outright violence — the third leading cause of occupational fatalities, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics [5]. 

Legal Rights

Employees are entitled under the law to a workplace free of harassment and hostile conduct.

Unfortunately, some employers turn a blind eye to such behavior, rather than actively discouraging it.  As a result, employees in a certain category (for example, Hispanics or young women) may routinely be targeted for abuse.

While this can expose an employer to legal liability, the more important question is how an employee should respond. Continue reading

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Runaways

Each year over 400,000 children under the age of 18 are reported missing [1A].  The vast majority of these are runaways, highly vulnerable to homelessness, sex trafficking, and worse.

Though estimates vary, there may be as many as 2.8 million runaway and homeless youth in the US [2A].

“Half of all runaway minors report that their parents told them to leave or knew they were running away and did not care [3].”

“Runaways” are minors who have left home with the intention not to return.  The category includes children abandoned by the adults who should have cared for them, and teens thrown out of the house.

Risk Factors

According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, risk factors include the following [1B]:

  • Family conflict
  • Physical or sexual abuse
  • Pregnancy
  • Bullying or social rejection
  • Sexual orientation
  • Online enticement
  • Substance abuse
  • Gang activity
  • Mental health issues
  • Developmental issues

Some 47% of runaways report family conflict; 43% report physical abuse in the home; 34% report sexual abuse in the home.  Among girls, the rate of sexual abuse rises to 80%. Continue reading

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Celebrity Predation

File:Spacey Star.jpg

Kevin Spacey’s star on Hollywood Walk of Fame, Author Mike Crawley of Southampton, UK (CC Attribution 2.0 Generic)

Actor Kevin Spacey — the star of such acclaimed films as LA Confidential, The Usual Suspects, Glengary Glenn Ross, Seven, and Pay It Forward — is not the first celebrity to be accused of sexual assault.

Combs Lawsuits

Five separate lawsuits covering a period of 30 years have been brought by male and female victims (some of them teens) against the rapper and record producer, Sean “Diddy” Combs, for alleged sexual assault, rape, and sex trafficking [1].

Like Spacey, Combs denies the allegations against him.  However, a disturbing 2016 video on YouTube shows him physically assaulting the R&B singer, Cassie Ventura, whose case was settled in 2023 [2].

Spacey Acquittals

Spacey, it should be noted, was the same year acquitted in Britain of sexual assault relative to his interaction with four different men between 2001 and 2013 [3].  A New York jury earlier acquitted Spacey of molesting then 14 y.o. Anthony Rapp in 1986 [4].

More Spacey Accusers

“I take full responsibility for my past behavior and my actions, but I cannot and will not take responsibility or apologize to anyone who’s made up stuff about me or exaggerated stories about me…I never told someone that if they give me sexual favors, then I will help them out with their career, never.”

–Kevin Spacey [5]

A 2-part documentary on YouTube now features ten more men who claim to have been sexually assaulted by Spacey between 1976 and 2013 [6][7].  The stories by these men are nauseatingly familiar, reflecting an abuse of power as much as sexual predation.  Continue reading

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Child Abuse in Hollywood

File:Hollywood boulevard from kodak theatre.jpg

Hollywood Boulevard, Photo by David Diliff (CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported)

The television network Investigation Discovery (ID) is running a documentary series on child abuse in Hollywood.  Titled Quiet on Set – The Dark Side of Kids TV, the series is both engrossing and disturbing [1][2].

Dating back to Jackie Coogan and Judy Garland, the abuse of child actors is nothing new.  Both federal and state laws now limit the hours children may work, require that they receive education on set, and protect their earnings [3].

But there are, also, subtle pressures on children to conform with the demands made of them, in the interest of advancing their careers. Continue reading

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Headphones and a Vape Pen – Juvenile Crime

File:Sennheiser hd-25 headphones.jpg

Sennheiser HD-25-1 headphones, Author Bizzarle (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

WARNING:  Graphic Images

Eight Las Vegas teens have been charged with murder, in connection with the beating death of a classmate widely distributed on social media [1].  The assailants range in age from 13 y.o. to 17 y.o.  Their victim, Jonathan Lewis Jr., was 17 y.o.  The altercation was apparently about headphones and a vape pen.

It is difficult to say which aspect of this crime is most disturbing:  the age of the victim whose life was taken, the age of his assailants and their relationship to him, the trivial cause for this violence, or the fact the crime was shared on social media.

Causes of  Violence

Most of us assume that children are incapable of violence, certainly incapable of murder.   We are shocked when confronted with the facts.

In 2020, there were 930 arrests made nationally for murder or manslaughter where the perpetrator was 17 y.o. or younger [2A].   There were 19,140 arrests made for aggravated assault in that age range, and another 70, 940 made for simple assault [2B].

Gang dynamics, the psychology of crowds, and peer pressure all have bearing on the crime here.  Abuse is likely, also, to have played a role.

A.  Gangs

Gang violence in the United States emerged as early as 1783.  In New York City, in particular, gangs were well organized by 1826 [3].

Dangerous street gangs, outlaw motorcycle clubs, organized crime (once actually termed gangland), and drug cartels are all representative of this underworld culture.  Little has changed with time, except that drugs have been added to the mix.

Teens and young men are known to have been participants from the start (though girls and young women are not immune to the lure).  Depending on age, young people serve as messengers, look-outs, bagmen, thieves, and thugs (some later specializing as enforcers or hitmen).

Although gangs may thrive on violence, they provide a sense of acceptance, security, inclusion, and identity to their members [4].  In effect, they substitute for the family structure many young people lack.

B.  Crowds and Peer Pressure

It is well recognized that human beings will do in a crowd what they might never do alone [5].  The bounds of acceptable behavior are more easily transgressed in a group.  Personal responsibility is abandoned.  Morals are swept aside in the frenzy of the moment.

This applies to young people even more so than adults.  Still trying to decide who they are, anxious to fit in, teens and pre-teens are more susceptible than adults to peer pressure. Continue reading

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Internet Safety Tips for Teens

File:Social media.jpg

Typical social media sites, Source Flickr, Author Automotive Social
(CC BY 2.0 Generic)

The following safety tips were supplied by a child advocacy center all too familiar with child abuse in its many forms.  Please, discuss them with the teens in your life.

Personal Safety 

Never share your personal information with others online unless you already know them offline, and they have good reason for needing to know.

Before sharing the following information with ANYONE, always check with a trusted adult first:  last name, address, phone number, date of birth, school name, social security number, passwords.

Social Media

Many social networking websites (e.g. Facebook/Meta, Twitter, and Instagram) have minimum age requirements for signing up.  These requirements are there to protect you!  Never accept a “friend request” from someone you do not already know offline.  Again, never share personal information with others. Continue reading

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