Moving Day

I awake from a dream about moving day.  In the dream, a friend and I are both dancers in the chorus of an off-Broadway musical.  Poor as church mice, we fantasize about a stage success that will bring us fame and fortune. 

In costume, she is graceful and evocative.  In life, she is warm and enthusiastic.

My friend has approached me to ask for help in relocating.  I have never been to her apartment before.  We run a gauntlet of threatening catcalls from men, as we approach the place. 

One actually forces his way into the apartment, but my friend fends him off with a drug dose she has stashed above the door.  She does not lock the door on his departure.  I feel uneasy about this, sure he will return. 

The apartment, itself, is beyond shabby – a tiny, windowless room, exposed to the weather.  The place is furnished, if one can use the word, with bits and pieces of broken objects.  My friend treats these tenderly, as if they were priceless.  Meanwhile, she must rely on a nearby restroom, for lack of an alternative. 

She has no packing boxes, and has not begun to sort through what she will take and what she will leave behind.

It strikes me that this dream is a metaphor for the after-effects of child abuse.  Often, the exterior we present to the world is like a play.  We dress in costume, adopt the mannerisms we see around us, in an effort to fit in.

Our interior life is very different – empty and lacking essentials.  We may be genuine and caring, despite this.  But we do not recognize those qualities as having value.

We cherish the few broken bits and pieces of what passed for love in our lives, all the while fending off new assailants.  We have few friends and fewer defenses.

Still, the possibility exists of moving beyond abuse.  That possibility may seem remote.  We may not yet be able to tell what can and should be left behind.  But we long to move forward, and are determined to succeed.

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19 Comments

Filed under Child Abuse, Child Molestation, Emotional Abuse, Neglect, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse

19 responses to “Moving Day

  1. I enjoyed the images you created in your dream Anna, and your analysis. Insightful as usual.

    One approach I take to dreams is looking at the emotions involved in the dream. Often the images can be expressions – ways that our psyche – makes sense of the emotions involved. The emotions carry our needs, and when we figure those out we can decypher the dream from the point of view of what needs we are expressing.

  2. Beautiful imagery of hope

  3. incarceratedshadows

    An excellent and very profound
    piece of writing Anna.

  4. Great post Anna!
    You are gifted 🙂

  5. Anna, mesmerizingly beautiful. Your writing is stunning!!

  6. I have not read this style of writing from you before, Anna. But I must say I have come to conclude that you are a creative genius.

    As for the piece, I really enjoyed it because of the metaphorical analogy. I was totally sucked in by the story. And the analogy is brilliant. It did help in understanding the dual reality of victims of abuse. We must keep in mind that we should never judge a book by its cover.

    Thanks for sharing. Love and blessings.

    • High praise indeed! And from an accomplished poet. You are much too generous, Gbolabo. But it means a great deal to me that you would think well of my writing, such as it is. Love and blessings, in return.

  7. Beautifully and brilliantly written Anna. You had me from the start!
    If one could only figure out the mystery of what to leave and what to take as we endeavor to move forward, surely the journey would be sweeter. Therein is the struggle I suppose (for me at least), for we earnestly desire to forget those things that are behind while reaching for the prize before us. If only it were that easy…

  8. Captivating post, Anna ❤ Unfortunately, whether this is an
    actual dream or creative writing piece, scary dreams can often
    be the stuff lived out in everyday life 😦 💜 Jackie@KWH

    • You are so right, Jackie. Horror films, too, are popular today. But the reality can be far darker. Thankfully, as Christians, we know that there is another life, a realm of light and love everlasting. ❤

      • So true… I’ve never understood the draw of horror films. Our future reality in the light of everlasting love from above is what I like to think about! 🙂 💜 Jackie@KWH

  9. Wow! This is a powerful dream, Anna. Beautifully written, I felt like I was in the apartment watching this play out.

    • How very kind of you, Bill. I can never be sure how a post will impact readers. Your recent post, by the way, was powerful and moving. Please, wish Mary a Happy Mother’s Day for me. ❤

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