We cling to bad relationships for any number of reasons.
Sometimes we assume the time we have invested in a destructive relationship is too substantial to relinquish. But that is merely grief distorting our reason. The loss of a year — or a decade — does not justify the loss of another.
Sometimes we believe the passion we feel — unreciprocated as it may be — is the only thing that gives our lives significance. But that is false. Our lives derive significance (and joy) from many sources: faith, nature, children, family, friends, work, charity, and creativity to name a few.
Ultimately, what gives our lives meaning is the fact that we are children of God, made in His image. Nothing and no one can deprive us of that attribute…though it is all too easy to forget, when we have been subjected to abuse.
This is a helpful article laying out 7 steps for victims to follow, if an abusive ex-lover or spouse still has an emotional hold on them.
“1. Acknowledge that he Never Loved You
No matter how much you try to bargain with yourself, and no matter the lies he told you, people always show you how they feel about you by the way they treat you. Acknowledge that he doesn’t care about your feelings. He doesn’t care about your confidence or self-esteem. He will only flourish when he’s belittling you and you’re suffering for his ego. Screw that! You’re better off without anyone than with someone like that! You deserve someone who can give you support, patience, kindness, empathy and can reciprocate real love…”
Catherine Liu blogs on Improve Your Life After Abuse at https://stepstowardhealing.wordpress.com
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