“Joseph’s Coat of Many Colors Brought to Jacob after Joseph Is Sold into Slavery” by Diego Velazquez (1630), El Escorial (PD-Art l Old-100)
“But his brothers hated Joseph because their father loved him more than the rest” (Gen. 37: 4 NLT).
Human beings inherently crave connection. When our basic need for relationship is denied, abuse victims can develop an intense emotional hunger. Some of us attempt to satiate that hunger with food, others with possessions, still others with sex.
But these will not satisfy us. So the emotional hunger returns, and the cycle begins all over again – each time destined to fail.
Punishment and Reward
“…the wandering of desire…is vanity and grasping for the wind” (Eccl. 6: 9).
The reward – whether of food, material things, or sex – becomes punishment. Each stop gap measure has negative consequences. Each leaves us feeling empty [1]. Our sense of worthlessness resurfaces with renewed force.
Then the reward used to stem our emotional hunger becomes, itself, a source of shame. It takes more and more food/things/sex to bring us even temporary relief. Our desperation increases.
Punishment and Self-Forgiveness
“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16: 33).
Consciously or not, we ache for forgiveness, someone to take the guilt away. And there is Someone who can do that. In fact, He longs to do that. He died on a cross to do that.
But we did nothing to “deserve” abuse. We do not, therefore, need forgiveness for our abuse. What Jesus Christ does to relieve us of the false guilt for which we have been punishing ourselves is reveal a truth it would have been too painful for us to accept as children, i.e. that our parents and caregivers were the ones at fault.
Where their love failed us, His will not. And the life He offers us is everlasting.
—
[1] Got Questions, “What does the Bible say about eating disorders?”, https://www.gotquestions.org/eating-disorders.html.
This series began last week with “Punishing Ourselves, Part 1 – Numbness and Deprivation”
FOR MORE OF MY ARTICLES ON POVERTY, POLITICS, AND MATTERS OF CONSCIENCE CHECK OUT MY BLOG A LAWYER’S PRAYERS AT: https://alawyersprayers.com
ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse 
How well does Satan know the inner workings of mankind Anna, that one of his most effective weapons against us is guilt. Is anything more powerful yet debilitating than to be overwhelmed by guilt, especially undeserved guilt? If there is I have yet to find it.
Jesus paid the ultimate price in order to reveal to us the kind of Truth that can set us free from guilt, shame, and every other emotion being used to torment us.
Praise God that what He offers us is lasting peace and comfort from the wiles of an enemy bent on destroying us from within.
Satan’s existence centers around harming us, and enticing us to harm ourselves or others…all because God loves us. Thankfully, we have in Jesus both a Redeemer (Ps. 107: 2) and an Advocate beyond compare (1 John 2: 1).
So well said. Thank you, Anna. Very insightful teaching, indeed.
D
You are always such a support, David! I have to remember to email you a friend’s contact info. He is a pastor, as well. I think you’d like each other. 🙂
A.
I’d like that very much. Thank you, Anna. 🙂