Tag Archives: self-destructive behavior

March 22, 2026 · 8:48 am

Sins Against Self, Part 1

Medieval flagellants as pictured in Nuremberg Chronicle by Hartmann Schedel (1440-1514) (PD)

As abuse victims, we are, for the most part, more sinned against than sinning.  Abuse leaves a devastating scar across our lives.  About that there is no doubt.

That does not, however, mean we do not sin, ourselves.  Many of our own sins are against the self, a direct result of the abuse we suffered [1][2].  And God loves us so much He wants better for us than that.

Low Self-Esteem

Believing ourselves worthless, we treat ourselves that way.  We view any kindness toward ourselves as undeserved, and turn aside those who would love us (sometimes causing unintended pain to others, in the process).

Disordered Sexuality

In a desperate effort to find the love we were denied, we seek it in all the wrong places.  Far too often, we are drawn to partners who re-enact the abuse so familiar to us.  Or we settle for less than we deserve, giving ourselves away to any comers, rather than respecting our own bodies. 

A few of us take the other direction, and forego the sexuality with which God endowed us or reject the gender God assigned us.  That is no wiser, though it may temporarily feel safer.

We may assume this does not grieve God, but it does [3].  He suffers with us, and weeps for us. Continue reading →

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October 22, 2023 · 1:00 am

Relapse

File:EB1911 Greek Art - Foot-race - Panathenaic Vase.jpg

Foot-race at the Panathenaea (c. 800 BC – 480 BC), reverse of an ancient Greek vase, Source Encyclopædia Britannica (11th ed.), (PD)

Despite decades of counseling, abuse victims may struggle with the scars of their trauma for a lifetime.  This is a discouraging truth whether applicable to alcohol or drug abuse, eating disorders, cutting, or other self-destructive behaviors stemming from the abuse.

When we do relapse the shame returns full force.  But the conclusions we draw from our relapse are important.

Not Worthless or Hopeless

That we have relapsed does not mean that we are worthless and our situation hopeless.  It simply means that we are human beings who have been deeply wounded.

Survival Skills

Nor does relapse mean that the survival skills we struggled to acquire have been proven useless.  We have simply set them aside, in favor of more familiar and more damaging behaviors [1]. Continue reading →

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February 7, 2016 · 1:00 am

Falling Knives, Part 2

“Self-Injury Awareness Day – Open Your Eyes. Open Your Heart.” Photo by AndyCandy94 (CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication).

“And always, night and day, he was in the mountains and in the tombs, crying out and cutting himself with stones” (Mark 5: 5) [1].

For many abuse victims, assaults on ourselves are more than an emotional echo of earlier trauma, more than metaphorical.

Non-Suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI)

Non-Suicidal Self-Injury or NSSI (commonly known as “cutting”) is generally viewed as an attempt to deal with emotional pain [2]. Estimates suggest that as many as 14% of teens engage in cutting, at one time or another [3].  But adults are not immune.

In sexual molestation and rape, the violation involves the body. Therefore, the body becomes the “enemy”. Self-inflicted injury is one way this can manifest. But negative feelings ranging from loneliness, worthlessness, and shame to stress, rage, and racing thoughts may prompt the same behavior [4]. Continue reading →

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