Tag Archives: “forgiveness” for victims

The Mousetrap

File:London-The Mousetrap celebrating 70 years.jpg

“The Mousetrap” at St. Martin’s Theater, London, Author Ji-Elle
(CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

WARNING:  Graphic Images

Thousands have enjoyed Agatha Christie’s “The Mousetrap”, the longest running play in the world.  Few realize that the play was inspired by a real life tragedy [1][2].

Fictional Plot

Set in a snowbound manor house, the mystery centers on the strangling death of a woman who mistreated the foster children in her care.  The principal suspect is one of those children, now grown and motivated by revenge.

Factual Basis

Because their parents were deemed unfit, England’s Newport Juvenile Court in May 1944 placed the three O’Neill brothers on whom the play is based under the jurisdiction of the Newport County Council [3].

In July 1944 the Council assigned custody of the two older boys — 12 y.o. Dennis and 9 y.o. Terence — to Reginald Gough and his wife Esther at Bank Farm in Hope Valley, Shropshire.  The youngest boy — 7 y.o. Freddie — was placed nearby.

When a short time later Terence was asked to write a school essay about his homelife, he said his foster mother was good and kind to him.  He said she bought him new clothes and gave him “lots to eat”.

But the name Hope Valley would prove haunting.  Terence later revealed that his essay was written under duress.  He knew instinctively that he would be in “huge trouble” if he told the truth.

Fatal Abuse

On January 9, 1945 Esther Gough phoned a local doctor to say that Dennis was having a seizure.  The doctor arrived to find the boy dead, a victim of severe abuse.  An inquest revealed that he had suffered cardiac arrest, as the result of a brutal beating.  The child was, also, badly undernourished, with painful septic ulcers on his feet. Continue reading

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Filed under Child Abuse, Child Molestation, domestic abuse, domestic violence, Emotional Abuse, Justice, Law, Neglect, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse

The Feeling of “Sinfulness”

As abuse victims, we can be tremendously hard on ourselves.  The slightest misstep, the smallest error may seem a catastrophic failure. More than that. An unpardonable sin disqualifying us from love (even, in a spiritual sense, from Salvation, itself).

The feeling of “sinfulness” — that vague sense of guilt with no real cause — is just one of the scars left by abuse. We relive the trauma of having been treated as worthless. This opens wide the door to depression.

The feeling of “sinfulness” rebounds from the abuser to us because there is no punishment this side of eternity sufficient to fully offset the harm done to us. The best we can do is strive to forgive and move on.

It bears repeating that abuse victims were innocent victims. But acknowledging this intellectually will not always translate into our accepting it emotionally. A childhood filled with negative experiences must be overcome.

Legalism

Though the feeling of our own “sinfulness” can at times be overwhelming, the conclusions drawn on the basis of that feeling may not be accurate. The situation is complicated by the fact abuse victims must re-learn as adults to trust their own feelings.

Unfortunately, some Christian sects feed into this by emphasizing Salvation through works, i.e. through our own unrelenting efforts, rather than through  faith in Christ alone. This can readily morph into legalism (a focus on the letter of the law, at expense of the spirit).

Legalism marries well with the perfectionism to which abuse victims are prone.

But being unworthy of Salvation is not the same as being worthless.  Christ died for our sins despite our unworthiness — victims and non-victims alike. That actually highlights our value in God’s eyes.

We were never worthless, except to those who abused us. Continue reading

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Filed under Child Abuse, Christianity, Emotional Abuse, Justice, Neglect, Physical Abuse, Religion, Sexual Abuse