Hand-painted Kintsugi pottery bowl by Artist Ruthann Hurwitz, Author Ruthann Hurwitz, (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)
One of the greatest challenges for those of us who have lived through abuse is coming to terms with our own imperfections.
Not Unworthy of Love
We were taught — endlessly, often by the most brutal means — that our imperfections made us unlovable, unworthy of love.
That, of course, was a lie. However, it left us believing that any imperfection at all was unacceptable, in effect, that it disqualified us from membership in the human race.
Yet, humanity is defined by imperfection. We may strive for excellence — at times even achieve it. But all human beings are by nature flawed.
Kintsugi
Kintsugi — meaning “join with gold” — is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery or ceramic objects [1]. Traditionally, gold lacquer is used to piece the shards together, creating a more beautiful object than the original. Kintsugi is related to the concept of wabi-sabi, the acceptance of imperfection [2].
Cruel and Unrealistic Demands
The demands made by those who should have loved us, the standards imposed, were not only unrealistic. They were sometimes cruel beyond measure. And we still carry the scars, despising ourselves for that fact.
God’s View
God does not though view us the way our tormentors did. He is fully aware of our limitations. But He is, also, aware of the circumstances that shaped us, and the suffering we endured. He is aware of our efforts, those that prove successful and those that do not.
God loves us despite our scars. He sees the beauty in broken things (1 Sam. 16: 7; Matt. 12: 20)[3]. He knows the courage it took for us to survive. That runs like a thread of gold through our lives. It may not be visible to us, but it is to God.
“Bless the Lord, O my soul…
Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies…” (Ps. 103: 1, 4).
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[1] Wikipedia, “Kintsugi”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kintsugi.
[2] Wikipedia, “Wabi-sabi”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wabi-sabi.
[3] Faith Gateway, “Broken and Beautiful: Psalm 103”, https://faithgateway.com/blogs/christian-books/broken-and-beautiful-psalm-103.
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ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse 
Kintsubi and wabi-sabi – great concepts to ponder. Thanks!
You are more than welcome, Marilee. ❤
This is so beautiful, Anna. What a wonderful analogy! So grateful that he can make something more beautiful out of our brokenness.
Thank you so much, Mary. “To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness…” (Isa. 61: 3). ❤
Our society has always emphasized perfection, which when you think about it is nothing more than setting someone up for disappointment. As you stated so well Anna, God does not see us as those who tormented us but as a loving Father who will redeem us out of such treatment. No amount of scars can change the fact that we are loved!
The world’s symbols of perfection — the athlete, the beauty queen, the celebrity, the billionaire — are merely idols. God sees the heart (1 Sam. 16: 7).
Amen
Es ist schlimm, was Menschen anderen Hilflosen antun.Wer dann den Glauben nicht verliert, hat die Chance zu generieren LG M.
Sehr richtig, Marie. LG, A. ❤
Amen and Amen! This is a beautiful message, Anna.
I am so glad you liked it, Manette. ❤