Depression, Source https://pixaby.com, Author pixaby user GDJ, (Creative Commons CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication)
“Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me?…” (Ps. 42:11).
I first began experiencing depression, another of the scars of child abuse, in my teens.
Depression is a thought disorder. It results when the brain does not deliver chemical messages (known as “neurotransmitters”) correctly, thereby interfering with accurate communication between one cell and another.
The connection between child abuse and depression has been clearly established [1]. I can trace the condition’s origins directly to that moment in the course of the abuse when I abandoned hope.
Depression has been a frequent presence in my life. To varying extent, I can feel the snare daily, but will not give in to it. To do so would be to let darkness conquer.
For me, chiefly the triggers for depression are situations in which I feel powerless, and failures at love. These evoke the emotions of the molestation with devastating impact.
When depression is at its worst, the self-contempt is unbearable. The internal dialogue can be vicious. What a worthless piece of trash I am! No wonder my life has been pointless. This useless heart of mine would be better off torn from my chest.
ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse 