Courtroom gavel, Author onaeg news agency, (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)
“There are two kinds of guilt. One is true guilt, that is, it stems from sin against God; we are responsible for it and we have to deal with it. The second is false guilt, which Satan places on us; this occurs when the devil accuses us of not living up to God’s standards.
Many people live countless years under such deceptive guilt. They never feel as if they can quite get God’s acceptance; they think they never quite measure up and never quite please God; they believe they will never be all that God wants them to be.”
–Charles Stanley in How to Listen to God
Abuse victims are all too familiar with guilt.
Told from childhood that we did not measure up, that everything wrong in the family was our fault, we grew up virtually enveloped in guilt. This is compounded by the fact we are likely to believe we brought the abuse on ourselves (an outright lie, but one of which Satan is particularly fond).
All this is false guilt.
If confronted, we would have difficulty reciting our supposed “sins”. This is because they do not exist. Which is not to say that we do not commit real sins. We are as fallible as the rest of mankind, in that regard.
But the guilt that is unrelenting – the guilt punishing, even crippling us – is false guilt. We were not responsible for the abuse inflicted on us – whether it was emotional, physical, sexual or took the form of neglect. We did not engender it. We did not deserve it.
What we needed and deserved, but were deprived of, were love and care.
Unfortunately, what false guilt does is convince us we are still undeserving. We labor under the weight of this lie, sometimes turning it into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We do not see ourselves clearly, and we do not see God clearly. We imagine Him as a harsh judge – watching our every move, critical of every error, waiting for us to fail. When we do fail (as all human beings do, from time to time) we feel condemned, entirely worthless, beyond redemption.
Mercy is a word outside our vocabulary. But it is not outside God’s. Indeed, our entire image of Him is wrong.
Yes, He is just and holy. But He is longsuffering and kind. Ready to forgive. So much so that He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for our sins…our actual sins, not our phantom ones.
Moreover, God does see us clearly. We are not useless and defective, in His eyes. We are not worthless. We are infinitely precious to Him.
It may take awhile for us to believe that. But the truth is liberating. Once we accept it, we can at last leave false guilt behind.
“And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8: 32).
READERS CAN FIND MY VIEWS ON ABUSE AND ABUSE-RELATED ISSUES AT ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse
https://avoicereclaimed.com
ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse and More 
Evil comes in many forms, but convincing a child that they deserve the abuse is one of the worst.
I wholeheartedly agree. ❤
Isn’t it amazing how that Satan can use lies against us? Jesus told us that Satan was a liar and the father of lies. He has perfected every nuance of lying to attack us at our most vulnerable times, and he is relentless in his efforts to destroy us. Thanks be to God however that Satan is a defeated foe, as the Truth has set us free!
You are absolutely right, Ron. Satan endlessly repeats the lies we were taught as children to rob us of our joy…sometimes of our lives. Those who are not aware of his existence are all the more vulnerable.
I am fortunate to have not had to survive this circumstance, but I know others that have. This particular aspect seems to be a devastatingly stubborn one. I’ve had many conversations with friends that are victims, and try to support them and dismiss the idea that it was “their fault”. It seems that even though they *may* understand it intellectually, it doesn’t change that guilt that seems to have seeped into their core. I don’t know how to help, except to continue to be supportive. Thank you for explaining this phenomena for me!
–Scott
Your kindness, I’m sure, has done more than you know for your friends.
I didn’t know these distinctions and have only come to realise them as i navigated these feelings in my mature years
Thank you for another enlightening post Anna 🙏
Many think it amazing that we take upon ourselves such “false guilt.” It’s Satan’s most cruelly effective weapon. Why would he stop attacking us with it?
But praise be to the LORD, my Rock:
“He is my loving God and my fortress,
my stronghold and my deliverer,
my shield, in whom I take refuge“(Psalm 144:1,2 NIV) — Hallelujah!
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