Image in Public Domain as work prepared by an officer or employee of the US Govt.
There is a tragic new parenting trend: parents who raise their children without identifying the children’s gender, even to the children [1][2].
Such parents view gender as entirely fluid, divorced from biological sex, and something a child should choose later in life. They use the gender-neutral pronouns “they/them” when referring to their children; use gender-neutral clothing for their children; and buy their children gender-neutral toys.
There are multiple videos on YouTube praising this approach. Brands, in fact, are marketing to this trend [3].
Undoubtedly, these parents believe they have their children’s best interests at heart. Many view the “assignment” of a child’s gender at birth (the terminology now applied to identifying a child by his or her biological sex) as presumptuous.
They want to offer their children the broadest possible range of opportunities in life (something gender linked to biological sex is seen as restricting).
This is part of a larger movement known as Gender-Creative Parenting intended to evolve beyond what are termed gender stereotypes [4][5]. Gender-Creative Parenting attributes the countless studies which have demonstrated that there are inherent physical and psychological differences between boys and girls instead to cultural bias [6].
“And He answered and said to them, ‘Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning “made them male and female,”‘” (Matt. 19: 4).
This is a broken world. Many things, therefore, can warp and interfere with our internal sense of being male or female, and our attraction to others of the opposite sex. These range from genetic anomalies and hormones in the uterine environment to parenting styles, life experiences, and outright trauma.
But God made human beings male and female. This is not, of course, to say that either sex is superior or that there are not wide variations within each sex. Nor is it to endorse the rigid gender roles society has at times enforced.
Despite their parents’ good intentions, however, the children being raised as “theybies” are being raised to believe a lie about themselves.
This is an experiment that will have grievous consequences for them. They are being set up for identity crises, gender dysphoria, high rates of divorce, and higher rates of suicide. Those are hardly the “opportunities” their parents envision.
Please, pray for these little ones.
—
[1] Wikipedia, “Theyby”, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theyby#:~:text=Theyby%20(plural%20theybies)%20and%20non,parents%20using%20they/them%20pronouns.
[2] First Post, “Raising ‘Theybies’: The new parenting trend where children are brought up with no gender” by FP Explainers, 4/5/23, https://www.firstpost.com/explainers/theybies-parenting-trend-children-gender-neutral-12411332.html#:~:text=What%20are%20theybies?,sex%20at%20birth%20to%20anyone.
[3] AdAge, “Marketing to parents of theybies is now a thing” by Adrianne Pasquarelli, 4/5/18, https://adage.com/article/cmo-strategy/marketing-parents-theybies/312990/.
[4] Psychology Today, “Gender-Creative Parenting Lets Kids Be Kids” by Suzanne Degges-White PhD, 11/3/23, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/202311/gender-creative-parenting-lets-kids-be-kids.
[5] YouTube, 60 Minutes Australia, “Raised as they/them: Young children allowed to choose their own gender”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIgN7lz67mc.
[6] National Institutes of Health, National Library of Medicine, National Center for Biotechnology Technology, “Gender Differences in Personality across the Ten Aspects of the Big Five” by Yanna Weisberg et al, 8/1/11, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3149680/.
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This is so sad. Innocent children will suffer tremendously because of their parents’ bad choice to do that.
Once we lose the ability to distinguish good from evil, all hell can break loose. SMH.
So very true. These days it seems like whatever is bad is labeled good & vice versa. The Bible warned that would happen
This was yet another item I was wholly unfamiliar with until now. I sincerely hope that in 5-10 years (or sooner; I’ll definitely take sooner) we have the good fortune to look back on these years as “that time the world went mad,” because it will have been a bizarre, disturbing passing fad relegated to the dustbin of history.
I hope you are enjoying your weekend, and the week ahead is a good one!
–Scott
Like you, I pray this is a passing fad, Scott. But I fear it is simply another step in the direction of darkness.
You have a wonderful week, too. Fall is my favorite season, so I’m glad it’s finally arrived.
Blessings,
A.
This trend is going to come back to bite us all
We walk together in this world, yet sometimes our compasses point in different directions.
You name a new way of parenting, and you call it tragic. You say these children are lost, that their parents twist truth into harm. You speak of gender as a line drawn at birth, a line you believe to be clear, ordained – a line you would not blur, though you acknowledge the world is broken and its pains run deep.
We see the same children, the same parents, but we do not see the same story. When a mother chooses not to name her child’s gender, she does not seek to deceive, but to listen. When a father offers his child clothes and toys beyond blue or pink, he is not erasing truth, but making room for it to speak in its own time. These acts are not experiments, but invitations – invitations to grow, to question, to become.
You warn of harm, yet the roots of pain are many, and they run far beyond what we name or do not name. A child’s heart may ache for reasons we cannot see, in ways we cannot measure. To raise a child in openness is not to deny creation, but to honour its mystery. It is to say: you are more than a single story, more than a role given by the world’s hand.
We do not forget the words you quote, nor do we ignore the teachings we hold dear. But we remember, too, that wisdom speaks in more than one voice. When we build walls too soon, we risk closing doors that love might open. When we insist on certainty, we may silence the quiet, struggling voice within.
There is sorrow in confusion, yes, but there is also hope in honesty. To name injustice is to see the child bullied for being different, the one who hides their face, the one who cannot speak their name. We have seen what happens when fear rules the heart, when difference is called danger, when the soul’s song is forced to fit a single key.
Let us not pretend that pain belongs only to one side. Let us hold each other’s children in our prayers, but let us also hold each other’s fears and hopes. If we must speak of consequences, let us speak of love’s consequences – of kindness, of courage, of hearts that dare to listen before they label.
We are called to do justice, to love mercy, to walk humbly – together. This includes questioning the old divisions, learning from the young, and trusting that love will not lead us astray. Even when the path is unclear, even when the world aches with change, let us not mistake openness for betrayal.
We are all searching for truth. Let us not confuse certainty for wisdom, nor tradition for mercy. Let our compass be the love that names each child as its own, in its own time, in its own voice.
The pain of those confused about their sexuality is undoubtedly excruciating. We must not overlook that. But this parenting style will only increase their numbers.
There is a simple truth in all of this that man willingly ignores that he may further his own, corrupt agenda. Once we leave the word of God, we are opening ourselves up to all manner of corruption and moral confusion. I am reminded of a lady I used to work with who when asked if she would teach her children about Christ or Allah, she said it would be up to the child who they followed. God’s word is clear on how we are to train up our children, leaving His word has given us an abomination that defies anything prior generations dreamed of.
My parents were way before the times, but in response to what they thought were society’s rigid gender roles, they believed children should not be allowed to have any gender at all. I can’t even begin to explain how psychologically damaging this was to my sense of identity, my confidence in my ability to perceive reality, my attempts to understand myself. I think I was 3-4 when I realized I was being forced to comply with a lie. My brother and sister suffered, too. We wound up separated from our peers, isolated and alone. And we were all really fortunate not to have been born today because it’s gotten so much worse in some quarters.
My heart breaks for you, Gabrielle.
“The coming of the lawless one is by the activity of Satan with all power and false signs and wonders, and with all wicked deception for those who are perishing, because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. Therefore God sends them a strong delusion, so that they may believe what is false…”
2 Thessalonians 2:9-11
My personal opinion, shaped by life experience, is that true gender neutrality doesn’t exist. Certainly, there are real traumas when someone’s dreams or aspirations are shattered because of the expectations tied to their gender. But to me, that is not a problem of belonging to one gender or another—it is a problem of society. And in truth, anyone’s dreams can be shattered, regardless of gender.
I believe these parents are making a terrible mistake—and perhaps their only lasting role will be to serve as a warning example for humanity.
So tragic. I had no idea this was being done, much less celebrated. 💔 Praying with you, Anna. Kyrie eleison.🙏🏽
Thank you, Dora. You are always so kind. ❤