Punishing Ourselves, Part 2 – Emotional Hunger

Shopping mall, Sarasota, FL, Author PCHS-NJROTC (CC BY-SA 4.0 International)

 “But his brothers hated Joseph because their father loved him more than the rest” (Gen. 37: 4 NLT).

Human beings inherently crave connection.  When our basic need for relationship is denied, abuse victims can develop an intense emotional hunger.  Some of us attempt to satiate that hunger with food, others with possessions, still others with sex.

But these will not satisfy us.  So the emotional hunger returns, and the cycle begins all over again – each time destined to fail.

Punishment and Reward

“…the wandering of desire…is vanity and grasping for the wind” (Eccl. 6: 9)..

The reward – whether of food, material things, or sex – becomes punishment.  Each stop gap measure has negative consequences.  Each leaves us feeling empty [1].  Our sense of worthlessness resurfaces with renewed force.

Then the reward used to stem our emotional hunger becomes, itself, a source of shame.  It takes more and more food/things/sex to bring us even temporary relief.  Our desperation increases.

Punishment and Self-Forgiveness

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16: 33).

Consciously or not, we ache for forgiveness, someone to take the guilt away.  And there is Someone who can do that.  In fact, He longs to do that.  He died on a cross to do that.

But we did nothing to “deserve” abuse.  We do not, therefore, need forgiveness for our abuse.  What Jesus Christ does to relieve us of the false guilt for which we have been punishing ourselves is reveal a truth it would have been too painful for us to accept as children, i.e. that our parents and caregivers were the ones at fault.

Where their love failed us, His will not.  And the life He offers us is everlasting.

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[1]  Got Questions, “What does the Bible say about eating disorders?”, https://www.gotquestions.org/eating-disorders.html.

Originally posted 10/8/17

This series began last week with “Punishing Ourselves, Part 1 – Numbness and Deprivation”

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